Heavy in your arms (nashxcameron)

What I Have Done

It's been two weeks since I had that crazy night. Ever since then I've been feeling weird like I don't know I just maybe it's something but something doesn't feel right. I have a doctors appointment today at four so I have to get ready for that but this bed is so comfortable I just don't feel like getting up. I haven't really talked to anyone too much since then.

Jack and Jack when I'm a cruise with their son Vince. Mahogany and Jacob have been busy with some kind of project.

And I'm kind of realizing I don't have that many friends other then you know Cameron. Cameron was who I always going out with and now there's no one.

If me and Cameron were still friends he would be going to his doctors appointment with me tomorrow because he would be that worried. Now I have to go by myself and I know this sounds kind of whiny but I wish I was going to go with me I mean it's not that major but still it to be nice to have some comfort.

Oh well there's nothing I can do about it I guess I'm I should get up and get ready so I can head to the doctor and see what's up.

once I get to the doctors office I Synanon and said down this happening people here just some little kid running around with his parents not paying attention to him and some guy who keeps repetitively coughing and hacking.

The nurse comes to the door and called me back to the doctors office. We walk to little room and she just asked me the basic questions. How are you feeling? are you eating right? are you going to bathroom regularly what are your symptoms? questions like that.

The doctor comes in and he takes my blend and please run quickly and the nurse comes back and tells me it'll be about five minutes and then I can I can do sitting waiting here and that the doctor will be right back to talk to me.

It's been 20 minutes since the doctor nurse left. I don't know what's taking so long. It shouldn't take this long I mean I probably does have the flu world stomach bug or something. Now I'm getting kind of worried.

After another 10 minutes the doctor walks back in and his face looks solemn.

"Um Shawn we did some tests to see what it could be and we also need a few tests that was required but we did just in case" he said

"Well what is it? Do I have the flu or stomach bug you know what's the problem" I was getting really worried now.

"Shawn will first off you just have a stomach bug it should go in a few days we have a few anabiotic's for you but a test showed that you were HIV-positive"

I must misheard him. There is no way that I have HIV. It's not possible it can't be there is no way. The only I've only ever slept with one person and it was Cameron and he doesn't have it. except for that guy two weeks ago.... shit!

I started crying and I couldn't believe it. Here I was alone and I had an incurable disease.

"Shawn, we are going to start you on medications today and we caught it early so you're lucky. I'm so sorry" he said then walked out

I'm lucky, well I don't fucking feel lucky! I just can't deal with this.

They soon gave me my prescriptions and I left, I got in my car and I headed home and that night I cry myself to sleep.

AUTHORS NOTE

SORRY FOR TAKING SO LONG TO UPDATE

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UNTIL NEXT TIME

LOVE WILLIAM