December 9, 2000
My wife, Rose, died due to her heart desease. It was all so sudden. But all was left for me to do is to accept it.
Right before she closed her eyes on her dying bed, I promised her to take care of Helena. That I must do everything for her cost. And I will not break that promise. Never in my life.
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June 12, 2002
It was Helena's first day at school. At first, she was so shy to even step out of the car. But at the end of the day, she did so well as I expected. Napabilib nya ang halos lahat ng teachers. Kaya naman pati ako, pinupuri nila for being the dad of this wonderful child.
I'm really happy seeing her bright face when she smiles. I hope you can see her too, Rose. I miss you so much. I hope you're doing well there in heaven.
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October 26, 2002
Helena was accelerated to grade 1. Being the youngest among her classmates doesn't seem to bother her at all. She's even doing better than the others. Manang mana talaga sya sa mama nya. Maganda, mabait, matalino, at higit sa lahat, mapagmahal. Sigurado akong lalaki syang successful and contented. Just like me and Rose.
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March 14, 2003
As a gift for Helena's birthday, I gave her a Japanese bobtail. It really was from Japan. I ordered it from a friend. Matagal nya na kasing sinasabi saaking gusto nya ng alagang pusa. So I gave her one, and she deserves it.
She asks me what name fits her cat. I told her that "Neko" is the Japanese term for cat. So that's how she came up with the name NIKOlai. And I agreed with that. They look so cute together so I took a picture of them while playing.
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May 29, 2003
This day was disaster! I don't know how could this get any worse. My project failed! And it was because of that stupid cat! He ruined everything! Now my daughter locked herself in her room because of me hurting that cat! Now I have to start all over again. Damn it!
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June 3, 2003
Helena's cat died. The blame was all on me from getting mad at him. It didn't eat a single bite since that day. Maybe I hurt it so much that he got trouble in his appetite. Helena cried all day and I can't do anything about it. It was my fault making myself so much busy in my laboratory.
I think I should relax for a bit. A vacation will do. At least Helena and me can have a sort of quality time there. Time to leave my work for a while.
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June 25, 2003
We're on our way to Batangas for our vacation. Iiwan ko muna ang lahat ng trabaho para doon mag relax kasama si Helena. I'm sure matutuwa sya kapag nakita nya na ang beach doon. At makakalimutan nya na din si Nikolai.
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June 28, 2003
Hindi padin maayos ang lagay ni Helena. After the car accident, hindi padin sya nagigising. Akala ko isang matahimik na bakasyon ang naghihintay saamin doon, but it all ended up like this! It's no one's fault. It's not me, neither the car we collided with. Ayon sa mga pulis, mag-asawang doctor daw ang nakabangga namin. Patay raw silang pareho maliban sa anak nila na nasa back seat. Hindi ko na alam ang iba pang detalye. Ang kinakatakot ko ngayon ay kung ano ang magiging lagay ni Helena sa mga susunod na araw.
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