Not a Dream

Chapter 49

Enjolras stood alone in the top floor of the café, surrounded by the bodies of his friends. He stared down at them their eyes staring at nothing and he felt himself break. It was his fault. He brought them here he caused them to die. He dropped to his knees and put his head in his arms. He cried. He though back to when he had first met his friends, their bright eyes and smiles, now their smiles were gone and their eyes were dead. They were cold and empty, because of him.

Suddenly he heard footsteps coming up the destroyed stairs. At first one pair then two but eventually he lost count. It was the National Guard. Enjolras began to get up and hide, but he didn't bother. He didn't care if they found him, he wanted to die, all the guilt he had built up inside made him lose his drive to live. Éponine would have to understand. She knew he loved her, right? She could just leave the barricade and move on.

The guards were in the room now. There were 5 of them, but something, no someone was being held over one of the guard's shoulder. The person was squirming but Enjolras couldn't see their face, the guards had put an old bag over it.

"Well, well, well" began one of the guards, presumably the leader, "if it isn't the sole male survivor of this endeavor. Such a shame, all the young lives lost, don't you think?"

Enjolras could tell the man was trying to break him, get some form of emotion out of him, but he wouldn't let them have that satisfaction. However, Enjolras couldn't help but wonder about the guard's choice of words, "sole male survivor".

His thought was interrupted as one of the guards dropped the body over his shoulder to the ground. The guard pulled them up onto their knees and Enjolras could see them clearer. The person had on clothes obviously too big for them and the shoulder of the jacket was drenched in blood. Suddenly it all connected.

The lead guard spoke interrupting his train of thought, "Now, I presume you're the leader correct? I mean your red jacket sort of gives it away. Anyway, I have a proposition for you. Surrender, or she dies".

The bag was ripped off of the person's head and Enjolras felt his heart drop even more. Brown hair pooled around the girl's face and her eyes were trained on him. It was Éponine. Enjolras took a step towards her but in a matter of seconds the guns were aimed at him.

"Oh, you know her, wonderful" chuckled the leader slyly, "now what's it going to be? Surrender or watch her die".

Enjolras opened his mouth to say he surrendered but Éponine spoke first, "Enjolras don't you dare. Don't you dare surrender".

"Éponine, please-"

"No I won't let you. They're just going to make a public spectacle of you, tie you up and shoot you in front of all of Paris."

"Yeah, so what. I can't watch you die".

Éponine shook her head, "they're going to kill me-" but she was interrupted by a harsh hit to her face.

"Hey leave her alone" Enjolras said advancing forward.

A shot went off, the bullet nearly hitting him, "Consider that a warning shot, boy. Don't try that again" the leader said "now make your choice, I don't have all day". The leader lunged and pulled Éponine up. He slammed his gun into her temple and stared wildly at Enjolras, "Make. Your. Choice".

Enjolras couldn't think straight what was he going to do. He had to surrender but Éponine's eyes pleaded at him not to. Suddenly a shot went off. Enjolras eyes searched for who shot it and saw the leaders gun was no longer against Éponine's head, but against her back.

Éponine's face was filled with shock and pain as she looked down to her stomach. Blood was seeping onto her shirt turning it red quickly. She looked back up to Enjolras before falling to the ground.

Enjolras dashed forward, not caring if they shot at him, "no no no, Éponine" he said as he sat down beside her body. He turned her over and cradled her in his arms. He placed his hand on her wound and pressed down gently. "I'm so sorry, Éponine. I'm so sorry" he whispered as he buried his face in her hair.

"Hey" he heard Éponine whisper. Her voice sounded so horse and strained, and he couldn't help but feel it was his fault. No, he knew it was his fault. Tears rolled down his face, and he refused to look at her.

"Enjolras, look at me, please" Éponine whispered, quieter this time.

Enjolras obeyed and turned his face to Éponine. She had grown pale and sweat ran down her face, she looked gone, yet she was still there. "Ép, this is all my fault, I-I could've saved you but-"

She shook her head weakly, "they would've killed me anyway. Please don't peg this on yourself. It's not your fault, none of this was".

Enjolras sighed, "Please don't lie to me, Ép-"

"I'm not lying. I don't blame you. I-I" she paused and coughed roughly.

He felt more tears fall from his eyes, she was dying in his arms. She composed herself and looked lazily up at Enjolras. She reached her arm up slowly and cupped his cheek, wiping his tears with her thumb. He placed his own hand on top of hers and pressed his face into it.

She smiled but it quickly slipped away and was replaced with a look filled with urgency, "Enj?" she whispered.

"Yeah Ép, what is it" he asked gently.

She took a deep and shallow breath, "I need to know something. Do you forgive me for everything I've done-"

Enjolras stopped her, "Don't talk like that, you're going to be fine" he said running his hands through her hair.

"No Enj, I don't need you lying to me, we both know I'm not surviving this, I need to know: do you forgive me, for everything?" She asked short of breath.

Enjolras nodded, "Éponine, I could never be mad at you. I forgive you for everything. Being with you had changed me, made me less self centered and shallow. I've been able to see differently and learn to love. I've never loved any before, not even my own parents. You being in my life seems like nothing short of an illusion, a dream maybe. But it's not and I couldn't be happier. Éponine, I love you with all my heart and soul and I hope you know that".

Éponine smiled and chuckled softly, "thank you, for everything. I-I" she began before having another coughing fit, "Enjolras, I-I lo-love you" she said quietly before her head dropped back.

Enjolras sat still for a moment before reacting, "No, no no no Éponine. Éponine come back. Please come back. Please. Please. I love you, Éponine. I need you. Please come back to me" he pleaded burying his head in her chest and rocking her back and forth but it was futile. She was gone. He sat up and stared into her eyes. Her brown eyes were vacant, a shell of what he used to know and love. A lopsided smile was still on her face, like she was teasing him, and Enjolras leaned down and kissed her cold lips before setting her down and standing to face the guards.

He located the leader and advanced at him, "You filthy bastard! I was going to surrender! I was going to surrender and you killed her!" he yelled before he was restrained by the other guards.

He struggled before finally dropping to his knees. "Just kill me now" he said in a monotone. He couldn't live any more.

He thought of Éponine. The last few months he had spent with her rolled through his mind. He recalled her using him and how stupid he had been to fall for that illusion, but then he remembered the lengths he made her go through to apologize. His sighed, after all they had been through she still fought to stay with him. The whole experience seemed like a dream, and he would wake up any second and it wouldn't be real. But it wasn't. Éponine was real and she loved him. He was real and he loved her. It wasn't a dream and he couldn't help but smile.

He felt the cold barrel of the gun against his head and he waited. He would be with her again soon. Her and all his friends. They would be reunited. He never believed much in a God or in the afterlife but in that moment, that fraction of a second before the gun went off, he hoped it was true.