chapter thirty-three - Bring Me Back To Life

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"She hated that she was still so desperate for a glimpse of him, but it had been this way for years."

- Julia Quinn

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Seeing Jude lying there in the hospital bed, tubes and gauze surrounding him, somehow made it final for me.But I knew he was going to get through this. He had always been a fighter and this wasn't an exception. I took a chair and sat down next to his bed. His hand, that wasn't covered in tubes, was clenched. I grabbed it and started drawing circles on it, in order to try to relax the muscles. The moment I let go of his hand, the hart monitor started racing, making me grab his hand again.

"I'm not leaving you, Judragie," I said in his ear, "No matter what."

The frantic beeping started to slowly lessen and in the end it was just a faint beep. Tears couldn't be held back anymore. They were streaming down my face freely.

"No," I whispered, "You're not bailing out on me. You always told me you would be there for me, Jude. You can't break your promise; not when there are things unsaid. I need you here, Jude. I need someone to tell me it is bad to eat three pack of chips when I'm binge-watching the series you told me I should watch when I was old enough. I need someone to tell me that the storm can't do me anything while holding me to make me feel safe. I need someone to be able to go to, no matter what time it is. I need the person I love to live. That someone is you, Jude... Just, please. Don't leave me..."

The nurses were swarming around, but everything stopped when I saw that the red line on the machine hitched.

Again.

Each time again.

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