(check ooooot 'no exit' and 'yellow tape' girlies)
Still unnoticed by the man of the show, I happily made my way down the steep steps and onto the ground floor of the arena. His security nodded at me knowingly, leading me up and behind the stage, where he'd already be. The last show of the tour ended a mere couple minutes ago, screaming and crying girls still littered the spacious arena which had now looked like a tornado just circled around and swept groups of fans away.
He had no idea that I was here, which didn't matter to me in the slightest. Attending this show, my intentions weren't of that him spotting me in the crowd of thousands of faces. If he sees me, he sees me, I thought. The Manchester show is when I saw him last, a month has passed with no contact aside from a couple simple texts reading: "I miss you." I told him, though—I made sure he knew I'd attend another one of his shows, I believed he must be fairly disappointed due to the tour now being over and me supposedly not keeping my promise.
Little did he know, I was here and I couldn't wait a second longer to see him. However, anticipation filled me and I felt somewhat anxious as my hand hesitated to turn the handle of his very own dressing room door. Him almost saying those three words to me after the Manchester show a month ago, I didn't mention. I stopped him; I had to. I couldn't help but feel like if those words slipped from his mouth, he'd immediately regret them. We weren't together, no. For two years, we'd been on and off, constantly reminding each other that we were only seeing each other, seeing how things go, if this works out.
He cheated on me, once...twice. He was flawed. I admired him though, of course I did, just how the millions of his dear fans did. He had one message, one simple phrase that he spread around: "Treat people with kindness." and he did. You might think that doesn't apply to me, but it does. Commitment issues were something we both unfortunately had, although I didn't act upon that fact whereas he managed to do just that.
That didn't make him a terrible person though, quite the opposite actually: that went to show he does have flaws, he does have bad traits, he is ultimately human, who makes mistakes like anyone else. His dedicated fans see someone who he puts out there for them to see, he has control over how much of his life is in the spotlight, yet they don't know him personally nor privately and sometimes fail to understand that not only have people hurt him, but he's hurt people.
Nevertheless, I forgave him and now I'm here, turning the handle to see him after a dragged on month. I held my breath as I pushed the door open, revealing his back to me as he packed some things into a bag.
"I'm coming Jeff, give me a minute." He called out, assuming I was his manager, proving my guess of him not noticing me throughout the whole show.
When who he thought was Jeff stayed silent, his head turned before his entire body did, clad in his usual skinny jeans and his own merchandise: (the black hoodie). The lips that I missed kissing, parted slightly in surprise as his green eyes widened and he stood still for a moment, just taking in my presence.
I watched intently as his mouth slowly closed and twitched up into a smile, revealing those adorable dimples of his that I always poke my finger into.
"Hi." I said in a small voice, glancing up at him.
"Hi." He replied and I couldn't help a smile that forced its way onto my face.
I stood unmoving as he closed the distance between us, arms embracing me into his chest. My breath hitched in my throat and I bit the inside of my cheek in order not to cry, as my arms found their way around his neck. His heavenly scent made me feel like home and god, did I miss being home. He held me so tightly, as if I would disappear if he weren't squeezing me securely against him.
