You could say this is a dirty imagine but it's more of a funny story.
..
Me and Harry stand pissed, waiting for our daughters class to finish. We got called in for some reason and we're hoping it's nothing big she did this time. Five year olds could be big troubles sometimes.
Finally, the bell rings and Darcy's teacher exits the room with her and...our cat?
"Hello." Harry greets the Mr. Smith but I'd just like to point out how hot Harry look a today, his skinny jeans and that white tank top. Sometimes I regret having a baby at such young age but Darcy is my life.
Mr. Smith leads us three to his office and we take a seat in there.
He clears his throat, "okay. So as you can already see, Darcy brought her cat to school." He states and we both nod.
"Darcy, explain why did you do that?" He turns to Darcy who starts crying momentarily.
"I, it's because last night I woke up in the middle of the night and heard daddy say something to mummy." she sniffles. Me and Harry share a glance.
She carries on, "he said this. I'm going to eat the shit out of this pussy when Darcy leaves for school." I watch as Harry's eyes go wide and I guess mine do too. And Darcy just said shit which is bad.
"I'm so sorry Mr. Smith, this won't happen again." Harry quickly vets to his feet but Mr. Smith signals him to sit back down which he does.
"Darcy, go wait outside please." He tells Darcy and she does so. Leaving only me , harry and Mr. Smith.
Mr. Smith sighs before saying, "Mr. Styles, you do realise that is animal abuse?" He says and if I had a drink in my mouth I'd spit it out.
"Animal abuse?" I choke out. He nods. "Yes. Eating a cat is killing it, which is abuse, Miss. Styles." He repeats.
"No, I wasn't going to eat that pussy." Harry tells him and he furrows his eyebrows.
"That's what Darcy said, she heard you Sir, Darcy never lies." He says.
"Yeah I know, what I mean is," He leans in in his seat, "I wasn't going to eat that pussy." I see what he is trying to do. But Mr. Smith's expression makes me want to laugh, he has no clue what we are talking about.
"Well, sir, Darcy said---" He gets cut off by Harry.
"Yes I know what she said but I wasn't going to eat that cat. I was going to eat a different pussy." I try to keep in my laugh.
"That's even worse Mr. Styles! You can't just eat random cats from the road." Is he for serious?
"That's not the point." Harry groans, I see he is getting irritated. "Then what is?" Mr. Smith questions.
Harry sighs, "when I said that I was talking about my wife's pussy." He whispers and a little giggle escapes my mouth.
Mr. Smith still doesn't get it, "Mr. Styles, you can't do that--" He shakes his head and Harry cuts him off again.
"I was talking about eating my wife out!" He stands up from his seat and I sink down into mine. Mr. Smith looks confused so Harry carries on.
"Eating her out, licking her pussy, her vagina." He points with his finger and I swat his hand away and laugh. This teacher couldn't be any dumber.
"Oh." Mr. Smith's cheeks heat up and he looks down at his paperwork.
Harry sits back down, "you aren't very bright for a biology teacher." he mutters.
"You're free to go then. I apologize." His face doesn't meet as when we exit but as soon as the door closes we burst out laughing then go home with Darcy.
——
EDIT: idk why i wrote this shit lordddd
