Feelings

I believe in YOU

When I’m so down and in pain, I lose all perception of life and what’s right and wrong. I lose all hope and belief that life can get better. I think the only way to more forward is by ending my life and giving up.  I know in my heart giving up is wrong but in my head it seems like the only way.

I’m tired of fighting and being strong, it seems like all I do. I’ve lost all love and respect for myself, I have no dignity it was taken away from me. I don’t want to be afraid, I want to love and make people happy. Every day seems like is all about the abuse and nothing more.

I have this strong hate towards my brother, I’m so mad that he can move forward and I’m here writing this. He will never understand the pain he has put me through and the hurt I must fight each day just to see the next day.

I hate being a victim, yes the experience will make me stronger but my heart will be scarred forever. I wish I could restart my life, I don’t want to be the person I am.

I never want to reach perfect; no one will ever be perfect all I want is to love myself. I don’t want to see myself as fat, ugly, worthless, stupid and useless, I want to see the qualities my friends see. My friends are everything to me they keep my here and fighting, they remind me of the person I really am. They never bring me down instead they make me rise, they make sure I see the person who is funny, caring, honest, smart, beautiful, inspiring and admirable, I don’t see these qualities but I’m glad I can express them.

Each of my friends have their own story, that’s what make us unique, but we all have one thing in common, we want to inspire and help others. It’s who we are, together we are able to help people through our writing and just by making new friends on here. We are so blessed to have found each other.

Just yesterday one of my closet friends told me that I help her. This was so great to hear, because this person is always helping me and giving me strength. To know that I can help someone is an honour. I only ever want to help and be someone people can admire aspire to me like. I forget as much as people help me, I’m also helping them.  I hope to show people that it’s ok to feel weak, but it matters how strong you are to pull through.

To any one going through something, big or small, find a friend one that will listen and support you. Fighting alone is hard and impossible to do. Everyone needs a release a person that can make you smile, find that friend today. Don’t stand alone, standing alone means fighting alone, which mean hiding, don’t hide, ask for help, it’s not seen as weakness instead  its seen as courageous.

Don’t fight alone, when fighting together is no much easier.

To each and every one of you, its ok not to be ok, you can rise above anything only if you fight.

Yes fighting is tough, but it’s easy to give up, working hard and fighting your demons will prove you can do anything.

Ask for help today, find a friend you can trust, I’m always here ready to listen and help.

I’m a victim today but one day I will be a survivor.

One day I will see the light,

I will guide myself to happiness.

I can do this if I try,

I need to show my brother he won’t win,

His not worthy of my tears,

I’m stronger then he will ever be,

Not going to stop,

Going to keep pushing.

WHY SAY BYE WHEN YOU CAN SAY HELLO.

To all of my friends on here thank you sooooooo much, you guys keep me here. Keep changing the world and inspiring, because you all inspire me.

@lovaticthetimes

@roody96

@nicknemidemi

@belleannaquinn

@jenny_a93

@lovato_chick

@tonart

@nemimom

@Itz_micah02

so finally realised how to dedicate so going to dedicate a chapter to all of my besties......

First one goes to my forever and always Roody96

To the people reading don’t give up. Wait for the day you will rise like a skyscraper and show the word there never going to bring you down again.