Feelings

Warrior

Life right now it pretty perfect. I'm happy, I'm enjoying every second of being alive, of living my life with the best people surrounding me. I've finally surrounded myself with the right people, my friends have inspired me, motivated me to get better. I'm finally fully ready for recovery. To getting better, to having a better life. Over the last few months I haven't updated, but that's because I'm doing all I can to get better and have a better life and future. I'm so happy within myself, I feel more confident in who I am and what I'm going to be.

Yesterday on the 13/09/2015 I went on my very first date. Can I just say how amazing it feels so go out with someone and feel so safe, confident and comfortable. I'm proud to say that I'm happy, that I falling for a girl.

What I've learnt over the fast few years is not to find your happiness from other people. I'm finally happy within myself that I can be with happy with another person. No matter what happens I'm confident in who I am and where I've come. This girl isn't like anyone else, she makes me smile, she lives in the same city. I can be myself, I don't need to pretend it act like I'm something I'm not. She gets me, just like I get her. Yesterday was one of the best days of my life. Just being in a company of someone as amazing as her was a perfect.

I'm writing about this because If anyone would have told me I'll be happy, that I'll be healthy relationship id call them crazy. I never saw this for myself, I never knew I could be happy. Happy within myself and not happy because of another person or people. I'm proud to say that I've come so far, that I'm worked hard to get better. A year ago I was broken and fragile. I lost hope, I didn't see a way out of the pain. I thought that was my life, that ending my life and giving up was the right thing to do. But no, getting help, asking for help has saved me.

I know how hard it is to get help. So many people told me to get help, I did but I was never really committed to it. It wasn't until I I DECIDED I was worthy of help, that I wanted to get better that I did and I worked hard and continue to work hard every day because I WANT to get better

It's not easy. It's hard, takes courage and determination to get through it. But you can and you will. I'm not fixed but getting better. I no longer feel like a victim, I'm a survivor! I win, I beat him and all the hurt he caused me. I can and I will get through this. I will get better.

To all the people that have helped and supported me. Thank you! Thank you to the people who have helped me see just how worthy I am, how much I deserve.

For the first time in my life I feel BEAUTIFUL.

No matter what happens, I'll make it through. I'll beat him, I'll beat the pain.

I'm a warrior, a fighter and no matter what happens, I'll always be a warrior.

I know I'll have bad days, but the courage and determination I have to get better will pull me through.

Again thank you so much to everyone who has stuck by me. Who has been here for me, loved and cheered me on. To all you guys all are still reading this book thank you.
It's crazy to see how far I've come from the very first chapter to now.

I love you all so much

-G