Feelings

Notice

I lie awake,

Wishing I could be someone else.

I don't know what's happening to me,

Day by day I feel like I'm losing more of myself.

The endless pain,

Is getting stronger.

I'm pushing people away,

The people I need most,

Fearing they will leave If they see the real me.

I don't want them to go.

I don't know what to do anymore.

I don't know how to make the pain stop.

People say he won't hurt me again,

I know that,

But every night he is my nightmares,

His there abusing me, calling me names.

Sitting in my room alone,

Chatting to friends,

I feel empty,

I don't know how to pretend anymore,

The tears,

They just flow,

My cries feel the quite space in my room.

I don't have the strength to pretend anymore,

But still the people that matter most to me don't see my pain,

They say they love me and care,

But still they don't see my tears,

Or notice my fake smiles,

I need just one person to care.

I know I need support,

But I'm afraid,

Afraid to admit I'm not okay.

I want to be okay,

I want to be like my friends who smile,

Just living in the moment.

I know no one can save me,

But please,

All I ask is for someone to notice.

I might seem tough,

But no I'm just like everyone else,

I have feelings.

I'm not a brick,

I have emotions,

I just wish people will see that I'm not fine.

I'm falling,

My world is crumbling,

But still I'm just giving up.

Why?

I have no idea why,

Maybe cause fighting takes too much energy,

Too much strength,

Strength I know I no longer have.

So I ask, please someone notice.