Chandler Riggs Imagines

Your First Panel

- ANXIETY TRIGGER WARNING -

~ Your POV ~

You wipe your clammy hands on your skinny jeans, your mind already swarming with thoughts as you stand backstage with your fellow cast members, all of you waiting to get called out onstage for your panel. Unfortunately for you, unlike everyone else here, this is your first panel, and you are not holding it together very well at all. Everyone around you is talking amongst themselves, and you are trying your best just to block out the sound, because even being in this room with everyone is starting to overwhelm you. It occurs to you that nobody here has any idea about your anxiety issues, and this makes your whole situation worse. There's no way you can go offstage if things get too much. You have to stay out there. In front of all those people. All those eyes on you. Your hands start shaking, and you grab the hem of your shirt to steady them. Once you're out there, that's it. There's no escape. Nowhere to run and hide. You'll be trapped up there. You're so caught up in your own thoughts, that the sound of the host calling the cast out onstage makes you jump. For a brief moment, you're distracted and following the cast, but then the screams of the fans hit you, and you freeze on the spot at the back of the cast line. You cant move. You cant speak. Your thoughts swarm around your head, totally consuming you, and your vision becomes blurry.
"Oh god, (Y/N)!" A voice calls out to you, sounding distant, but familiar.
You cant see. You cant see. You're so scared. This is hell. You cant stop this. You're going to pass out. You cant breathe. Hands wrap around yours, and squeeze them gently. You instantly grip onto the hands that are holding yours, clinging to them desperately as you feel the physical contact beginning to ground you. Very slowly, you come back to Walker Stalker Con, your eyes manage to focus enough for you to recognise Chandler Riggs holding your hands, and you're sitting on a couch with him crouching down in front of you.
Your breathing is still off, but you manage to choke out "A-Are you o-ok?"
Knowing those around you are safe and ok is something that has always been a comfort to you with your anxiety. Being told that YOU are ok and YOU are safe is helpful, but to be told WE are safe and WE are ok is another thing entirely, it's more helpful to you because it lets you know somebody is there with you.
Chandler squeezes your hands "Im ok, we're ok, everything is fine, just focus on me, focus on my breathing and try to follow it." His voice is soft, so quiet and so comforting to you.
You focus your full attention on Chandler and his breathing, and using all of your strength, you try to match your breathing with his. It takes a few minutes, but soon enough, your breathing has almost returned to normal.
"Wh-Why arent you out there?" You ask him, filled with guilt that he's staying here with you rather than being on the panel with his friends.
His intense gaze meets yours "I noticed you were starting to get anxious, so I waited for you just past the curtain, and when you didnt come out, I came back in here and found you panicking. I signalled to Andy that you needed me, and he nodded at me, then announced I'd be a couple of minutes late. Dont feel bad about any of it, it's not your fault, Im just glad I came back here to see if you were alright."
You raise an eyebrow "How did you know for sure that I was anxious?"
He smiles slightly "I didnt know for certain, but I had a hunch, because I've noticed how you act in certain situations and it's very similar to a friend of mine who suffers from anxiety." Chandler changes the subject "Are you ok now?"
You nod "Yeah, Im alright."
He traces your knuckles with his thumb absentmindedly "Do you mind me asking what caused you to panic just now?"
You blush slightly at the physical contact, and avoid his gaze "Im just absolutely terrified of doing this panel, being in front of all those people, not being able to escape the situation if things got too much...all of that just on top of me, I guess."
Chandler nods in understanding "I get it, you feel like you'll be trapped up there if things go wrong for you."
You nod, still avoiding his eyes.
He squeezes your hands to make you look at him "Listen, I will be right there with you. The two seats closest to the door are the only ones left empty, so I'll be right next to you, and we're close to the door. If at any point things get too much, just give me a signal, hold my hand under the table or let me know somehow, and I'll get you out of there, I promise you. Despite what your mind is telling you, you can do this, you can get through it, I know you can. You are so much stronger than you realise."
Without sparing a second thought, you launch yourself forwards, flinging yourself at him and wrapping your arms around his neck. Chandler stands up and wraps his arms around your waist, holding you tightly against him.
"Thank you, so much." You tell him, your voice quiet and broken.
His arms leave your waist as he pulls away from you slightly, to brush your hair out of your face "You dont need to thank me, it's what friends are for."
Your heart sinks.
Chandler smirks "But I think it's customary for people who are more than friends to help even more."
You blush a violent shade of red and look down at the floor, using your hair to hide your cheeks, causing Chandler to laugh.
He takes ahold of your hand again "Are you ready to go out there?"
Taking a deep breath, you lift your head and nod at him "Ready as I'll ever be!"
He grins down at you "That's my girl!"
Chandler's words fill you with a sudden and strange amount of confidence, and the two of you walk out onstage, to be greeted by the screams of fans, and you're shocked when you discover you're completely unfazed by the sound that had previously overwhelmed you and pushed you over the edge. That is, until you look down and discover exactly why you arent anxious at all:

He's still holding your hand.