I stand with Tobio in the center of the village. We silently watch as the carriage rolls to a stop in front of us. There are a few other boys and their families waiting with us. A man steps down off of the carriage and pulls out a piece of paper. He begins calling out names and checking them off his list.
"Aido Takeshi," he starts.
"Present," a short brown-haired boy answers.
"Harhui Yayoi."
"Here, sir!" a blond boy shouts, saluting the soldier.
"Shingo Tobio."
"H-here!" my black-haired best friend squeaks.
"Takahashi Shuhei."
"I'm here," the red-haired kid responds.
"Tamaka Ranmaru."
"Here," I say.
The man nods and folds the paper before putting it in his pocket. "Good. Now, say your last goodbyes then file into the back. And be quick, this will be a long trip."
I turn to my parents. "Thank you for everything, Mother, Father. I will see you soon."
Mother begins sobbing as she hugs me. "Don't go, Ranmaru! Please don't leave me, my son!"
"Mother, I must."
"No! They can't take my son from me!"
"Mother, you have to let go of me."
"Aika, please calm yourself," Father consoles.
"Let me alone! He's not leaving!"
The soldier walks up to us, with me being the only one not seated. "Ma'am, are you done with your farewells?"
"NO! DON'T TAKE MY ONLY SON, PLEASE! DON'T MAKE ME GIVE HIM UP!" she screams, sobbing.
"I'm sorry, ma'am, but you don't have a choice. Don't make this any harder than it has to be." He grabs my arm and I slip from her grasp. She follows closely, trying to snatch me back.
I face her sadly. "Goodbye, Mother."
"NO!" I sit in the back and we begin moving. I gaze outside and watch my mother chase the carriage. Eventually, she trips and simply cries on the ground, an arm outstretched towards me. I turn away, unable to watch Mother's heart shatter.
Tobio looks at me. "My mother couldn't even say goodbye to me today. She wouldn't let me go at all last night."
"How did you get away?" I ask.
He stares at his feet. "W-well...Riza...did what she had to." Tobio refers to his older sister.
"What...did she do?"
"She had to knock my mother out cold. By the time she wakes up...we'll be long gone." His face is the most miserable I've ever seen it. With nothing more to say, we fall silent. I study the other boys' faces. The brown-haired one, Takeshi, also looks sad. The blond-haired one, Yayoi, looks eager. Lastly, the red-haired one, Shuhei, looks neutral. All the times I've seen him, he's been expressionless. I wonder what's going through his head.
As I'm staring at him, trying to break through into his thoughts, he lifts his head and we lock eyes. It seems as if he sees deep into my soul and I shiver involuntarily. Something flashes through his eyes, but they quickly return to normal. Finally, he shifts his gaze and frees me from his blue orbs. I always found it strange that, though he has red hair, his eyes are like the sky when a storm is brewing.
Takeshi, who's hair is brown, has golden colored eyes. Tobio has nearly black eyes and Yayoi has brown-green eyes. Even myself, with my jet-black hair, has dark eyes. I've never seen someone of Japanese descent who has eyes quite like Shuhei's. I wonder vaguely if one of his parents was American. However, I'm not very close with him so I've never asked.
I close my eyes and hang my head, letting my hair fall in front of my face. It's not very comfortable back here, but I'll need to get some sleep. It's a long trip to the camp and I'll need my energy when we get there. They won't go easy on us just because we're kids. From today on, we're soldiers and nothing else. Our bodies belong to the king to do with whatever he wants. We're simply pawns in a fight that was never ours.
I doze off and when I wake up, the other boys are talking. Tobio has fallen asleep on my shoulder. I tune in and try to figure out what the conversation is about. Apparently, they've been talking about the base.
"I wonder what it'll be like," Takeshi says.
"I don't really care, I'm just glad I'm finally able to fight," Yayoi comments.
I blink, before adding my bit. "Are you serious, Yayoi?" The two turn to me, startled. "People have died in this war, lots of them. That's a possibility for us, too."
Yayoi face sobers. "I know. But, we may be able to end it. I don't care how this war started, but I want to be able to protect my family. I won't let them invade my home. So, I'll fight because it's all I can do. And if I die, I can at least say I tried to protect those I love." His argument is beginning to make sense now.
"That's a good reason to fight," Shuhei pipes up quietly. We all stare at him in shock. We've barely ever heard him talk before. "But we're all going to die."
"How do you know that?" Takeshi wonders.
Shuhei sits back. "Because war is a fire, it burns everything in its way until there's nothing left. We're caught in the path of that fire now. Besides, we're only kids. What can kids do that adults have never been able to accomplish?"
I stare at the floor of the carriage. He's not wrong. "Not much. But we can try and never give up, even in the very end. We believe we can make a difference and maybe, eventually, we'll see the changes. Nobody ever accomplished anything by giving up before they even started." I glance at the other boys. Shuhei gives me an odd look while Takeshi and Yayoi smile at me.
I feel a shifting on my shoulder and I realize Tobio has been awake for a while. "You'd make a good general," he says.
I blink, confused. "What?"
He passes his gaze over the others before turning back to me. "Look at them. After what Shuhei said, they were pretty sad. Now look at them. They're confident. Even Shuhei looks inspired, something I never thought I'd see. If anyone's going to change this world, it'll be you, Ran."
I look away from the intensity in his eyes. "No one would follow me."
"I would," he shoots back.
"So would I," Takeshi adds.
"I'd follow you straight into the fire," Yayoi comments.
Shuhei shifts uncomfortably. "I'd trust you."
I stare around at the kids who are being forced to die for their families. Come our next birthdays, we could be long dead. Most of them are virtual strangers to me. And yet, here they are, pledging their loyalty to me. I feel like I don't deserve such trust. I haven't done anything to earn it. "But why? I hardly know any of you."
"Well, your my dearest friend. I'd follow you to Hell and back," Tobio answers, grinning.
"I may not know you well, but you're a kind person, Ranmaru. And you're strong. That's the perfect material to be a leader," Yayoi adds.
"You'll change the world, Ranmaru, I know it. Because you won't accept any less. Like you said, if you believe enough and try hard enough, you can change anything. I don't see why I shouldn't trust you. Besides, if we die, there's no one else I'd rather die beside," Takeshi says.
Shuhei gives me another of his piercing stares. "I can look into people's eyes and see their true selves. All I see in you is kindness and determination. You hardly know us, but you care, I can tell. You don't want anyone else to die in this war. So, you'll stop it because it's how you're made. If I can help you in any way, I will. I lay my life in your hands and I'd gladly throw it away for you."
"Thank you, everyone. Although I feel I don't deserve such devotion, I really appreciate your words. I'll try my best to change things."
"No, you will change things," Takeshi interjects.
"Right."
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YOU ARE READING
This Desolate Existence (boy x boy) COMPLETED
ActionMy name is Tamaka Ranmaru. We've been at war since before I was born. It isn't a choice that I have to fight. Anyone old enough has to be a soldier. They claim we're saving the world by fighting, but we're just sent to die. We are only kids, after...