This Desolate Existence (boy x boy) COMPLETED

Part 15

I sigh and rub the back of my neck. It's been a long night and my eyes are crossing from all the paperwork. You'd think, being in the middle of a war, they'd do away will all that. But of course, they have to document every last little thing that happens. I stare at the notebook beside me, the memories flooding back. My eyes are dry, but my heart is crying.

Captain Ruychiru comes rushing into my office, knocking hastily. "Colonel, there's something I think you should see!"

I sigh. He gets excited over the smallest things. Sometimes I wonder why I gave him that rank. Then, I remember his fighting skills when he's riled up. "What is it this time, Ruychiru?"

"Please, sir, you have to see this! You won't believe it unless you see it!" I groan and get up, following him across the base. I look around, realizing that this places still hasn't changed. It's been twelve years since I celebrated my tenth birthday and became a soldier. It's been eight since I lost everyone I cared about, my brothers in arms. I'm surprised when Ruychiru lead me into the mess hall. If it's some sort of new food on our menu, I'm really going to let him have...My train of thought freezes. In fact, everything does.

"I told you! You wouldn't believe me unless you saw it with your own eyes!" Sitting on one of the benches, talking to my Lieutenant, is a person. Upon closer inspection, I see it's a man about my age, although he looks older. He's extremely pale, skinny, and ragged. He looks as if he's been living in a forest his entire life. Then, he turns to face me and my heart stops.

The hair, I could easily have missed. It's dirty, covered in muck, and tangled. Also, it's long, hanging down nearly to his waist. It's been bleached slightly, as if it spent too much time in the sun without shelter. And the color is dulled. But those eyes. I'd never forget those blue-gray orbs that could always see right into my soul. They carry a haunted look now, but I still remember when they used to shine with happiness.

"Sh-Shuhei?" I choke out. 

His eyes widen slightly. He very carefully stands up. "Ranmaru? Is it...really you?"

"I...I thought you were dead."

"Ran...it really is...Ran..." His weakened legs crumble under him and I catch his body with an arm under his chest. I slip his left arm around my neck and support his weight. 

I turn to Ruychiru. "We'll be in my office and don't disturb us."

"Y-yes, sir!" I carry Shuhei to my office which has a cot in it for when I have a lot to do. Like this stupid paperwork which still isn't done. I somehow manage to open the door and close it behind us with my toe. I carefully set him down on the cot and simply just stare at him.

"I didn't think I'd find you all again," Shuhei says. "It's so great to see you again."

I swallow thickly. Of course he wouldn't know. I turn away to hide the pain he'll see on my face as well as the blush. I'd never forgotten him. He had my heart. I even went back and slaughtered the ones who'd caused me so much pain. "Yes, it's been a long time."

"What's the matter?"

I wince. I'd forgotten he could read me just as easily. "I'm...the only one left. Or, I thought I was until you showed up."

He's silent and I can hear him shift. When I turn back, has his head in his hands. "How?" he grits out.

"It's...a long story."

"We have time."

I take a deep breath, readying to relive the pain. "Not long after we left you, thinking you were dead, we were ambushed again. Most of us were already injured and the rest were tired. We were in no condition to fight again. I...froze and Yayoi...he saved me.

"We were fighting as hard as we could, but there was no way we would've won. Yu was occupied when one sneaked up on him. He had no chance. Ibiki tried to avenge him, but he was no match for them. The only option left for us was to run. The only ones left -Take, Tobi, Corporal,  Kotaro, and me- we got out of there. By this point, we were even weaker. Corporal had gotten severely injured and was losing a lot of blood.

"Then," I pause to gather myself again. "Kotaro killed Corporal. He wanted his rank, because he didn't want to have to work for it. So, Kotaro killed him and stole it. He tried to take me with him, but Take wouldn't let him. Tobi and Take fought him. They didn't want him to take me and get away with what he'd done. I tried to stop them. I would've done anything, even gone with Kotaro willingly, if it meant keeping them alive. But I couldn't stop them.

"Kotaro killed them without mercy. He still wanted me to join him, but I refused. After what he'd done, I wasn't going to be anywhere near him. So, he left me there with the blood and death by myself."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "I didn't want to keep going. I had no fight left in me. But I made a promise to Tobi with his dying breath that I'd live for all of Team 2-C. I promised I'd achieve the dream we'd all shared. After all, someone had to remember our squad. Someone had to remember we weren't just kids who'd died in some war. We were people as well, with hearts that were too fragile. And I was the only one left." I decide not to add the part about Tobi confessing to me. After all, Shuhei still had no idea how I felt or how I'd held onto that feeling to get me through each day.

"I missed a lot when I was gone, didn't I?'

"So tell me, how are you here right now?"

He smiles grimly. "It wasn't easy. When I hit the water, I thought that was it for me. I though for I was dead. For some reason, I kept struggling to find air. Pain was everywhere, it was everything. At some point, I don't remember when, I lost consciousness. When I came to, I was laying on the bank of the river. I didn't know how long I'd been out or how far the river carried me. The only weapon I had was that dagger that was in my shoulder. One of my arms was broken and I did what I could to fix it.

"When I was strong enough, probably a couple of days later, I set out searching for you all. I knew you couldn't be too far, even considering how long it had been since we'd been separated. I looked everywhere, traveling whenever I could, but I couldn't even find a trace. I finally made it back to the shrine and stayed there for a while, hunting whatever wildlife I could find for food.

"Eventually, I set off again. I had no clue what'd happened to any of you, but I knew you had to be alive. I just knew that I had to find my way back to the team. Finally, I spotted a charred area in the ground. There was blood soaked into the area around it. I saw a piece of your shirt, that stupid one you always used to wear no matter how much Ibiki made fun of you for it, and I knew I was close. At one point, I spotted the same men we'd tried to ambush. They were searching around the area, so I had to go farther west than I would've liked.

"Somehow, I ended up getting lost in the forest. By that point, I'd nearly lost all hope of ever finding another soul, let alone my comrades. I stayed in that forest for a long time, finding just enough food to get me by. I'd forgotten what I'd even been searching for and just lived there in peace for I don't know how long. Until another search party passed by and everything came rushing back. With my purpose renewed, I feverishly scoured everywhere. As if some higher power was smiling upon me, I ended up finding one of our people. That was the Lieutenant I was with. He brought me back here and gave me some food. And that's it."

I shake my head. "I'm not sure how you managed it, but somehow, you just barely missed us every time."

"So, how have you been? Are you any closer to your goal?"

I open my mouth to reply when a sharp knock on my door startles me. I glare at it briefly before walking over. "I told him no disturbing me." When I open it, I'm greeted by the General's expressionless face. "General. What do you need of me at this time of night?"