This Desolate Existence (boy x boy) COMPLETED

Part 8

We wait in tense silence for him to return. We hardly even move, hardly dare to breathe. That's when we hear it, the sound of metal on metal. Then, from everywhere, the enemy springs forth. We're startled and that gives them an advantage. One lunges at Tobio and Yuzu. Without thought, I leap forward and block the swing. He sneers and that's when I realize he's only a kid, too. He can't be much older than us. 

I throw my weight forward, pushing him back. He retreats, watching me closely as I watch him. Behind me, I hear the others engage their targets. I keep my eyes on the one in front of me and trust my friends to defend themselves. He tries to trick me by feinting low, but I parry his blow. Our swords sing when they connect and slide along each other. The sounds of battle echo all around me, making a deadly chorus. 

He tries to grab me, but I spin away from his reach. He rushes me, but I roll to the side. I barely manage to dodge him and get back up before he's at me again. I parry his blows, but he has more strength in his arms. That's alright, I can out-maneuver him. He doesn't seem too bright, which is where my advantage lies. I just have to keep my wits and not worry about my comrades. I parry another of his slashes and see my opening.

I do a spin kick, hitting him square in the chest. He stumbles back, gasping for breath. That's when I slam my blade into him. I feel the warm wetness of his blood trickling down my hands. I don't look in his eyes to see the life leave them. Quickly, I yank my blade out and turn around. Utter chaos greets my eyes. Blood splatters the ground and bodies are littered everywhere. My friends are viciously fighting, some with dripping wounds. I run over to join them when I see a horrifying sight. I watch as an enemy's blade slices across Hiroki's throat.

Hiroki drops his sword and grabs his neck to stop the bleeding. Choking, he falls to his knees with wide eyes. Then, his body tilts and falls to the ground, lifeless. Hiroji turns and sees his twin's body and tears leak down his face. He runs over, screaming Hiroki's name. He kneels and grabs his twin.

"Hiroki! No! Stay with me! You can't leave me! You promised!" I place my hand over my mouth, holding back tears. "HIROKI!" As he sobs on Hiroki's bloody body, someone sneaks up behind him with a blade held high.

"NO!" I yell, pulling out a dagger and tossing it. My aim is true. It sinks deep into the boy's chest and he grabs uselessly at it, his heart already stopped. He falls to the ground right behind the twins. Hiroji is inconsolable, sobbing and screaming. I try to get him up, but I know it won't do any good. He's in no shape to fight right now. I rejoin the fight, trying to keep an eye on the surviving brother. 

Eventually, we manage to finish the enemy off. Not long after, Corporal makes his way back. He's bloody with several wounds, but he's still alive. He looks around at the carnage, sadness in his eyes. He turns his head at the sound of Hiroji's cries. Corporal walks over to the brother and touches his shoulder. He says something I can't hear and Hiroji's arms slacken, releasing his death grip on his twin.

I can't look anymore. I turn away and grip my chest. The stabbing sensation is so painful, I want to cry as well. But I hold the tears back, I need to be strong. This won't be the last death I see, just the first. We decide to make our camp inside the shrine that night. It would be better than using our tents and it adds more protection from the elements. It's completely silent around the fire; sorrow so heavy in the air, I can almost taste it. 

My guilt is eating away at me. I promised myself, and the twins, that I would protect them. And I failed, I broke my promise. Something I never thought I'd do. I feel so useless and it's killing me. I couldn't even do anything. Not one thing to save him. I stand up and walk outside. I feel like I'm suffocating and I need fresh air or I'm going to break. I lean against the wall, breathing deep and clutching at my heart.

Footsteps alert me to someone's presence. I glance up and see a flash of red hair and blue-gray eyes. Shuhei leans on the wall next to me and stares at the moon. "It wasn't your fault."

I look at the ground. He reads me so easily. "Yes, it was."

"How?"

"I...promised. I promised them...I wouldn't let them die. I promised myself...I'd protect everyone. But I..." I swallow thickly. "I failed."

I'm surprised when I'm suddenly spun around. Being this close to him, I realize how much taller he is than me. He grips my shoulders tightly. "You're not superhuman. You can't always protect us from every threat. You can't see the future, Ran. You did all you could."

I squeeze my eyes shut. "But I didn't do enough! I broke my promise! If I can do that, if I can't even save one person, how can I change anything?!"

He shakes me until I look back at him. "Don't let me hear you say that. You're supposed to be the endlessly optimistic one. You're supposed to be the one reassuring me."

"But how can I? How could I have been so stupid?"

"Stop that!" I jerk at the anger in his face. I've never heard him raise his voice. "You have to keep hope or they win, remember?! I don't want to hear you give up! We're counting on you. We need you to lead us. Or have you forgotten?"

I take a ragged breath. "It...hurts..."

He sighs and pulls me in for a hug. "I know. Just let it out." 

"I...have to be strong."

"Nobody's strong all the time. Go on, you'll feel calmer after." Finally, the dam breaks. The tears come flooding down my face and I clutch onto Shuhei. The salty wetness soaks his shirt, but he doesn't say anything. When I'm down to just hiccups, he pulls back. "Now, they need you in there."

I nod my head. "R-right. Will you...help me?"

He squeezes my shoulder briefly. "Always." When we return inside, I look around and find Hiroji sitting in a corner. I take a moment to gather myself before I go over to him. I sit down in front of him and study his face. His eyes are red and puffy and there's tear stains on his cheeks. His eyes are glassy and he doesn't acknowledge me. I place my hand on his shoulder and call his name, but I get no reaction. Shuhei's presence behind me strengthens me.

"Hiroji, talk to me. Let me help you."

Finally, his eyes meet mine. "We've never been apart before. Not like this. We promised to always be together. But he went somewhere I can't follow. Why did he do that, Ran?" My heart breaks at the sound of his voice. He sounds like the kid he is, something we've tried to avoid. He sounds so vulnerable and clueless.

"I don't know, Hiroji. But he'd want you to stay strong. He loved you and he'd want you to keep fighting. Don't give up now, alright?"

"But if he loved me, wouldn't he want to see me again?"

"No, he wouldn't. He'd want you to live for both of you now. You need to experience everything he can't. Fall in love, be happy. That's what he'd want. And so do the rest of us. So, don't give up on us now. We need you."

He sniffles. "I can't. Hiroki needs me more."

"Alright, I won't push you. Just remember, we'll always be here for you. You're not alone." He simply goes back to staring at the ground. I stand up. "Get some sleep. It's been a long day." He nods and lays down, closing his eyes. He really does look like the thirteen year old he is. I sigh heavily and rejoin Shuhei. I lay down and close my eyes. I'm only fourteen, but I feel so old right now. I feel a gaping hole in my heart and it hurts so bad. But we have to pick ourselves up and keep going. If anything, this only makes my determination to change the world stronger. I'll change it not just for future kids, but for Hiroki. He'll never be able to see it and live it, but he'll live through me and his twin. 

A/N: I'm so sorry, my lovely cookies! I was crying as I wrote this! I feel so bad for Hiroki and Hiroji! Please don't hate me for it, I already hate myself! I hope you enjoyed it, though, and I'll see you in the next part!