This Desolate Existence (boy x boy) COMPLETED

Part 7

The next morning, I end up stirring earlier than usual. I'm not sure what wakes me up, but I can't go back to sleep once I'm up. Since no one else is awake in my tent, I decide to go outside and find something quiet to do. To my surprise, I find Corporal there, even though dawn is at least an hour away. He looks startled to see me as well.

"Private, what are you doing up so early?"

"I could ask the same of you, sir," I reply. 

He shrugs. "I rarely ever sleep for long."

"Do you even sleep at all?"

An expression of sorrow crosses his face. "A bit. After what I've seen, nightmares tend to chase me when I close my eyes." He's being unnaturally open with me. Maybe because a nightmare woke him up. He stares at me sadly. "I watched my friends die before my eyes. I was the only one who survived, so I was given a higher rank for my 'bravery.'" He shakes his head. "You kids shouldn't have to do this. We shouldn't have had to do this. You may watch your friends die in front of you. Are you prepared for that?"

"I won't watch them die. I'll protect them. I'll protect them all and then I'll change everything. I'll make a world where nobody has to die for something so pointless."

He studies me. "Do you really believe that?"

I don't break eye contact. "What do you think?"

He inhales sharply. "You really do. I wish I could believe that."

"You don't have to. Just believe in me."

"But you're only a kid."

"So are you. But you're still alive."

"Define alive. My body is working just fine, but my heart died long ago."

I stare at him for a moment. "That's not true. The fact that you still hurt, that you still care about us, is proof your heart's still functioning. It may be pieced together with glue, but it's still there. And as long as it is, you're still alive and you're still fighting. And don't you ever quit, because that's what living life is."

I reach over and squeeze his shoulder. "If you ever need a helping hand, I'm here. I'll pick you back up again, because I will change this world. Believe in me and watch it happen before your eyes." I glance at the rising sun. "We should get the others up if they aren't already." When I turn back to my tent, I see Shuhei standing outside. It seems he's been there a while.

His gaze locks with mine. "We do believe in you, Ran. Wherever you go, we'll follow. All of us."

Surprisingly touched, I smile. "Thanks. Well, let's go make history then, shall we?"

He smiles back at me, which is still shocking to see. "Absolutely." His eyes are warm and, with a jolt, I realize I'm beginning to see through his neutral expression. 

"Rannnn!" Yuzu shouts, deafening everyone.

I cringe. "What is it?"

"You were gone when I woke up! I was worried for a second."

I receive another shock at this. "You were?"

"Of course! You're my friend!" He beams at me. "Why wouldn't I be worried?"

I return his grin. "Well, I'm perfectly fine. Just woke up earlier than you lazy bones."

He pouts. "I'm not lazy."

"That is a big fat lie," Ibiki returns, stepping from his tent.

"No, it's not! If anyone's lazy, it's you, Ibiki!"

He snorts. "Well, that's true. At least I'll admit it."

"Wha...bu...tha..." Yuzu sputters.

"Alright, that's enough," Corporal says. "We should get going soon. We'll probably get there by noon if we keep up a good pace." That stills us all. Our first battle is drawing near and some, if not most of us, could die. Somberly, we eat and pack up the tents. As we walk, I find myself next to Yayoi.

He smirks over at me. "You must think I'm blind. Or stupid."

"What?"

"The looks you and Shuhei have been sharing."

"I don't know what you're talking about," I deny automatically. 

He shakes his head. "I think you do. I don't think only about fighting, Ran. I do pay attention. So, what's going on with you two?"

My face heats up and I look away. "N-nothing."

"Come on, don't lie. Just tell me."

I sigh. "Honestly, I don't even know." He simply nods his head for me to continue. "I just know that I get nervous when he's near. And when we talk, I feel happy. When we sang the other day, I felt like we were the only two there. It's hard to describe."

"You're doing good."

"My heart races when I think about him and I find myself thinking of his eyes. Whenever I look at them, I feel like I'm drowning in their depths. I find myself wanting to know more about him and feeling happy when I can read his face."

Yayoi wiggles. "You're in love, Ran!"

I cover his mouth, blushing furiously. "No, I'm not! And be quiet, please!" I feel him chuckling under my hand.

He pulls away. "Alright, alright. I'll keep it down. But it's true and don't you deny it."

I cover my face. "Please don't say that."

He laughs. "No need to be embarrassed. It's just how you feel."

"But I don't even know how I feel."

Yayoi sobers and looks up at the sky. "We weren't really given the chance to just be children. So, might as well grab adulthood by the throat and embrace it. You've found something, I won't say love this time. Ponder over it until you find out just what it is and hold fast to it."

It seems today will be a day of revelations about my comrades. "I will."

"Good." He glances behind us, smiles, and walks ahead. I look back to see what he did and find Shuhei walking alone and gazing at the sky. I fall back until I'm beside him. 

He tilts his head in my direction. "Ran, how are you?"

"I don't know. A little scared and worried, but I'm trying to hang in there."

"I'm sure everyone's scared. We've never been in this position. We've trained for this all our lives, but reality is a little different."

"It is. And I'm worried about how it will turn out. Especially for Tobio and Yuzu."

"Why is that?"

"They're so kind. Will they even be able to kill another person? Will they be able to spill blood, end a life?"

"I don't know. We have to hope so."

"Taking a life will be hard. On all of us. It's not an easy task."

"It shouldn't be. Otherwise, there would be no people."

"Hm. That's true."

Suddenly, Corporal holds up his fist, signalling us to freeze. He whispers, "We're here and we have no idea what we're up against. Keep your eyes peeled." We all nod in affirmation. We creep forward quietly, glancing all around for an ambush. Ahead of us is a small, shrine-looking building. There's a small brick wall surrounding it with archways framing the entrance. It has gates, but they're currently open. We have our weapons drawn, ready to fight. We hear a sound and Corporal halts us and goes to investigate.

A/N: So, so sorry for the cliffhanger, my lovely cookies! These chapters are the longest in any story I've written on here. Also, I'm sorry for the extremely slow development, but I really wanted you all to get to know the characters. I think they have so much depth and I wanted to convey that. Does that make any sense? No? Ok, then. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter and I'll see you in the next one!