Lover | 3 [Mark Got7]

삼십사 | THIRTY FOUR

It was as if gravity got stronger than necessary to at least keep us standing on the ground. I shuddered at the sight of him. For a moment, I lost myself. I was silent and still, as if I was a statue staring back at him.

I was mildly gasping for breath when I realised what was happening. I took one deep breath and exhaled. "Mark," I whispered. His name felt unfamiliar to my tongue, telling me how much unprepared I was for this. I had not expected to see him here. At least, not this soon.

I finally moved my weak legs to narrow the space between us. So did he. We stopped at a distance of a few feet, each not daring to get any closer until he took another step toward me. I backed away slightly. "Let's talk outside," I tell him. I caught a glimpse of him before walking out. It seemed like my small reaction to his advance in step was cruel.

My lips tremble slightly from the cold air but the temperature was not of my concern at the moment but at the person in front of me. "How did you know I was here?"

He did not utter a word of response for a second too long. The invisible load of tension accumulating between us was a terrible agony. He lowered down the mask which was protecting him from recognition. "I came to ask for another chance," he finally said, covering his mouth with the both of his hands. Probably from the chill which either originates from the weather or just from this awful connection of two broken human being. "I wanted to see you sooner and my business was not a reason for this delay but I hesitated."

He hesitated? "And what is it that you are trying to say?"

He pulled his hair back and bit on his lower lip. "I just missed you and I don't think I can stand another day without you."

Starting from my ears, those words travelled down to my heart and caused a riot down there. I gulped in an attempt to hold my tears back. I crossed my arms across my chest to show my strong self and buried the mess of me inside. "If that is really how you feel, why did you hesitate?"

He sighed. "Because I dont think I deserve you."

At that moment, I wanted to cry. I wanted to tell him that he was wrong because as far as I know, I was the one who did not deserve him. I never had. At the same time, I wanted to tell him that he was right because he deserved someone way better than me. I wanted to tell him that I still loved him. But I did not.

"I havent been myself since we broke up. It was like I lost a part of me. I couldnt get you out of my head even for a second," his voice was breaking and internally, I could feel a tremor of emotions in me. "No matter how much I dont think I deserve you, I still want you." He lowered down his gaze, "I want us back. We used to be happy, remember?"

I looked away, trying hard not to fall apart in front of him. "I don't know, Mark."

"Can't we be together again?" he sniffled as if he had a cold. He placed his hands in his pockets while grazing the soles of his shoe on the hard ground. He took a deep breath, "I just at least want to hear from you everyday. I mean, I just want us to at least talk again."

"I need time, I can't just act like nothing happened to us," I said. Mark looked at me without uttering another word. I was still looking away.

He pulled his face mask back up to cover his mouth and nose, ready to leave. I saw him nodding his head from the corner of my eyes. "I just want you to know that I still love you," his voice breaking even more.

At that, I turned to look at him but he was already walking away. He lifted up his hands to his face and it breaks my heart to think that he may be tearing up because he was sniffling. "How did things turn out this way?" his faint voice lingers as his figure disappeared into the dark light of the night.

--

The next morning, I was shocked when I received a text from Mark.

Mark:
Good morning

Mark:
Its been a while I guess

Mark:
Sorry if im disturbing you but I just wanted to say a few things

Mark:
Wait screw that, can we meet up instead?

Kiera:
Okay, tonight.

Mark:
Wait, really?

Mark :
Are you serious?

Kiera:
I figured I have something to tell you too.

--

"I wanted to see you because I wanted to say sorry for everything. For breaking your heart and for misunderstanding you without asking for the truth. I regretted every painful word I've ever said to you. That regret has been torturing me until now. I dont know what I was thinking by the time all those harsh terms and sayings but I knew I stupid," he said.

My eyes were starting to wet. "Mark."

"I remember telling you that it was alright even if we decided not to be together again and that we can just talk to each other. I don't really know how I was able to think that way because honestly, I think its going to be torturous. I thought that was enough for me but it turns out that wasn't what I wanted after all. I think I really need you, Kiera. Unless-," he stopped talking when I suddenly embraced him tightly.

"Mark, I'm sorry for everything," I mumbled into his chest, stopping to catch my breath after every word I uttered.

"See? Im making you cry again," he said while hugging me even tighter. His hand stroked my hair and I was thankful for this moment. "Does this mean that were back together again?"

I continued to weep silently into his chest without answering him until I heard a bird chirped near us. That was when I jumped away from him. He looked hurt.

"Whats wrong?" he asked.

"You're busy all the time. You'll have no time to yourself and you'll be tired."

"Kiera, you raise me up whenever I feel down. You are the one who is giving me the strength and the support I needed. My life was a lot better when you became a part of it."

"There's one more thing. When you cleared up our dating rumour, you seemed sincere about it." I squinted my eyes at him and turned away.

He chuckled. "No. I seriously dont mean it."

The weight in my heart was instantly lifted with this heart-warming laugh. I continued to avoid looking at him. I was playing hard to get, yes.

"You have no idea how much I want to show you off to the whole world."

At that, I turned around to face him. How is it that he knows the right thing to say at the right time? And before I knew it, Mark pulled me into a deep hug and said, "I love you."

--

[Third Person View]

That night, as Mark drove himself back to his dorm, he received a message from an unknown number.

Unknown Number

For the late notice, sorry. I was hoping that we can meet because I believe that we have a lot to talk about.