Sweet Serial Killer [ Riren ]

ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE

ONE HUNDRED TWENTY FIVE
♜ ♜ ♜

"Heichou," Eren whispered.

"Heichou!" He repeated more loudly. Soon enough he was yelling, his voice cracking as tears gathered in his eyes and started spilling down his cheeks. He was remembering, he could remember, everything was all falling into place—

The door burst open and Levi stood there, covered in blood and wearing gloves. When he saw the state Eren was in, his eyes widened by a fragment before he peeled off his gloves and made his way towards Eren, looking concerned.

"What happened?" He asked tenderly, sitting down beside Eren.

As soon as he did, Eren threw himself at Levi, engulfing him in a hug. Levi was stunned, going stiff beneath his touch as Eren wrapped his arms around him, a sob slipping past his lips. He didn't even care that Levi was bloody.

He just needed him.

Trembling badly, Eren pressed his face into Levi's neck, which glistened with sweat considering he had been working at cleaning up the mess Eren had made. Eren felt his stomach turn and he let out another sob, holding on tighter.

"Eren . . . Eren, speak to me . . . Are you okay? What happened?"

"Heichou," Eren gasped out, looking up at Levi with wide green eyes. "I remember, Heichou." Tears spilled down his cheeks. "I-I remember . . ."

Levi's dark eyes were the size of saucers as he blinked, shocked into silence before he wrapped his arms around Eren, clutching him possessively close. "You remember?" He repeated, sounding as if he were in a daze, and Eren nodded.

"I-I do," Eren murmured softly, and Levi hugged him tighter, crushing Eren towards him with such force Eren was left wheezing, trying to find his breath as Levi held onto him like he was going to lose him. Still, Eren smiled slightly.

"I knew you would!" Levi said excitedly, genuine happiness on his tired-looking face. "I knew all my hard work would pay off." He grinned.

"What do you mean, hard work?" Eren inquired after a pause.

"Well . . ." Levi paused before speaking again. "I mean, I brought Petra here for a specific reason. Usually I wouldn't since she had never really crossed you or became a threat. I did it because I knew her death would trigger your memories. I thought her dying would help you remember. And I was correct!"

"But . . . She was our comrade, Levi," Eren reminded him, horror gradually seeping into him once more. "She was our friend! How could you do that?!"

"Eren," Levi said gently, and he reached out to touch Eren's cheek. And despite how disgusted Eren was, he did not flinch or move away. "I merely brought her to you and initiated it. You were the one to actually kill her, remember?"

"Oh God . . ." Eren's eyes filled with fresh tears. "I'm awful, aren't I?" He whispered sadly, and Levi gripped now onto his hands, shaking him lightly. "Eren, look at me," he commanded, and Eren looked up instantly, never one to disobey orders from his captain. Levi smiled slightly and said, "You aren't."

"No matter what you think, you're not awful. You're just you. Even if you killed Petra, why should it matter? She'll get reborn again with us in a new generation. Don't you see?" Levi's smile widened. "None of these deaths matter!"

"We can kill them all we want. They'll just be reborn again!"

Stricken, Eren sat there in Levi's embrace, the realization slowly sinking in. He swallowed past the lump in his throat and whispered, "That still doesn't make it right. They're our friends, Levi. Killing them . . . It's just wrong."

"No it's not!" Levi shouted and Eren flinched. Levi lowered his voice as he went on hurriedly, in a frenzied fashion, "It's not wrong, Eren! Killing them means nothing, they'll come back good as new years later! Besides, they were all getting in the way of us. Mina, she was going to make a move on you, and I couldn't have that. Thomas, he hurt you, and I could never allow that to go by unpunished. Armin, he was too close with you, he obviously had feelings for you! Mr. Arlert, well, he was just a causality in the crossfire. Then your father, he beat you for no fucking reason, of course I wasn't going to permit him to live! And your mother . . . That was Dina's fault, but you killed her, didn't you? See, Eren? You're just like me. We killed Dimo together! You got mad at me for killing Dimo! Then you murdered Petra without a second thought."

"So what makes you regret your choices now?"

"Tell me Eren, why are you filled with regret? I was taught from a young age to never regret my decisions. Regret leads to your downfall. When the people I had considered my siblings . . . When they died in front of me, I was plagued with regret. Because I had made a choice, and it — it killed them. But then someone spoke to me, and they told me regret was worthless, a pathetic feeling."

"And fuck, I hate to admit it but he was right. Regret is worthless. Regret will only haunt you, make you second-guess yourself and blame yourself for every little thing and ultimately it will make you weak. And Eren, you are not weak. You are far from that. So don't let yourself regret things. Don't be weak."

Levi took a deep breath, as if to console himself. Then he resumed talking. "Listen to me closely, Eren. You remembered, you remembered what I told you that day our squad died at the hands of the Female Titan. I told you to make your choice, and to not regret it afterwards. Tell me, what did you do, Eren?"

"I made my choice . . ." Eren whispered.

"And what happened?" Levi pressed.

"It killed everyone," Eren choked out.

"That's just what you think," Levi retorted. "Even if you had decided to transform then, would it have mattered? The Survey Corps already had a trap set up for the Female Titan, and it worked. How were you able to foresee her breaking free? If she had not, no one would have died. But she did. You are never able to see into the future, Eren. You can't predict the outcome of your choices, so don't pretend you can. You aren't a psychic, so don't act like it."

"Whatever happens, you can't regret it. So I want you to promise me you won't regret what you've done or will do. Be like me, Eren." Levi looked at Eren solemnly, and Eren stared up at him before taking a long, calming inhale.

"Alright," he whispered. "I won't regret my choices anymore."

"Good," Levi smiled, and then he kissed him.

And Eren told himself to not regret it.

▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄▄

(A/N: this was a pretty revealing chapter, don't you think?)