Sweet Serial Killer [ Riren ]

SEVENTY SIX

SEVENTY SIX
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Erwin questioning Eren was a familiar scenario.

It went by quickly, with Erwin mostly asking about how Grisha and his relationship was. He pressed on to inquire if Grisha ever showed signs of being suicidal. Eren told him that as far as he was concerned, Grisha was not suicidal.

Although, he admitted that Grisha had lost his job and often went out late at night to drink. He also added on to say that sometimes Grisha took some frustrations out on Eren and Carla, though he did not say exactly how.

Once Eren was done with his interrogation, he joined Levi in one of the chairs towards the back of the room, and his mother was called in. During the time Eren was gone, she had noticeably tried to console and get ahold of herself.

Watching her go, Eren leaned his head back before letting it loll to the side, onto Levi's shoulder. The dark-haired boy glanced down at him, an eyebrow raised. He did not speak, which Eren was grateful for. He just wanted silence.

Closing his eyes, he tried to ignore the pounding headache that had formed at his temple. Levi's presence helped calm him, but he was still incredibly stressed. The idea of his father committing suicide was strange to him.

Then again, the idea of Grisha ever hitting him or his mother had been strange to him, yet it had happened, anyway. Besides, Grisha was an alcoholic and he had lost his job. Maybe he just got tired of everything and decided to end it all.

Irritation seeped through Eren. Why did Grisha have to abandon them? So many times. He frequently left them by themselves to their own devices, and he was the reason Eren's enemies were able to get under his skin by calling him a bastard.

Now Grisha had left them permanently, and he was never coming back. Eren knew Carla would miss him, but would Eren? Grisha had scarcely been there in the first place, so in truth . . . Well, there wasn't much to miss.

Why would he crave for the pain Grisha brought back?

A part of him longed for the days where Grisha was around and always sober and kind, when Eren was a young child, not yet a teenager. He craved for those times where he was able to bond with his father. But they were gone now.

Their relationship could never, ever be mended. Grisha was gone, and with his death he took away any chances of Eren forgiving him.

Gradually, tears started to form in his eyes. But they were not entirely from sadness; no, they mostly consisted of anger. He buried his face into Levi's chest, his shoulders beginning to shake. Levi peeked down at him, startled.

Was Eren actually crying? Please don't tell me he's sobbing, Levi thought.

Right when he was about to reach out to Eren, the sounds he was making became more audible. He was . . . Holy shit, Levi thought.

Eren was laughing.

Finally! Levi thought, overjoyed. He felt the beginnings of a smile tug at his lips as he watched Eren, who still had his face hidden in Levi's shirt, continuing to hysterically giggle. Levi listened to him, delighted. At fucking last!

It had taken ages, but now Eren was seeing reason! He truly was glad that Grisha was dead! Now Levi just had to wait a little longer. Then he could tell Eren everything and confess to him that he was the cause of his happiness.

Soon, though, Eren's fit of hysteria died down. While Levi was privately rejoicing, Eren was disgusted with himself. He had been laughing, thinking about Grisha's death. Right after Grisha's death. What kind of bizarre monster was he?

How come these tears were not mainly from grief, but rage?

What made him want to keep laughing and smiling?

Was there something mentally wrong with him? Was he missing a screw in his head? Was he really that crazy? Had he gone fucking insane?

No, of course not, he assured himself. He was not insane, it was just all the stress catching up to him, and he had to relieve it somehow. Why not in the form of laughter? Yes, that was it. And the angry tears were just from him becoming upset over losing Grisha. He was simply mad at life, that was it! 

Blinking away the remnants of tears, Eren drew away from Levi to wipe at his damp cheeks. Now he could officially say he had cried over his father. He wasn't emotionless after all. He wasn't insane, either. He was perfectly fine.

While he collected himself, Levi watched him. His stare was piercing, that of a hawk's. Or perhaps more accurately that of a predator stalking its prey. He surveyed every little movement Eren made, never once removing his gaze.

If Levi had heard Eren laughing, he did not say so. For that, Eren was grateful. He did not want to confront the fact that he had been laughing like some deranged maniac in a police station, of all places, right after his father died.

When Carla emerged from the back room with Erwin trailing on her heels, Eren fully straightened up, smoothing down his ruffled clothes. Levi shifted from beside him, ducking his head. Eren paid his gesture little to no heed.

Approaching her son, Carla hugged Eren, catching him slightly off-guard. Eren slowly hugged her back, wrapping his arms around her tightly.

"It'll be okay," she whispered, though she seemed to be reassuring herself more than him. "I'll be okay, you'll be okay, we'll be okay."

Closing his eyes, Eren thought, I'll be okay.

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(A/N: Eren pulled that scene from the last episode of season 2. ;3 also someone save me on Monday a friend is apparently gonna ask me out and I don't know what to say??? like I'm torn,,, but idk :// I guess I was sending them mixed signals and now they wanna date ??? oh well I'm just rlly stressed especially since now I have to take the bus.)