"A paternity test? Why do you want to get that?"
Hoseok's eyebrows are crinkled as he stares at me, my eyes not wanting to stay fixated on him for too long. The guilt is killing me, tears welling up in my eyes even as I tell myself over and over again not to cry. I know he is trying to be optimistic about this, but I can't get that night I messed everything up out of my head.
Flashback
"How are you so heavy?"
I giggle as Taehyung struggles to walk through my apartment, his breathing hard from the walk up the stairs. The elevator was broken, and I am so drunk that I probably would have fallen down the stairs and broken something, so he decided to carry me on his back. He walks through the apartment and into my room with me giving him directions as to where it is.
"Thanks TaeTae" I say as he places me gently on my bed, smiling up at him like an idiot. He gets a dazed look on his face before he sits down next to me, a lazy smile spreading across his face.
"You haven't called me that in a long time."
His voice is low and husky, exactly as I remembered it. True, it has gotten a lot deeper as he matured, but I can still here the familiar tone of it that I had grown to love with his slight Daegu dialect peaking through. All I can do is watch as he reaches out and tucks a stray strand of hair behind my ear, his hand lingering on my cheek.
"I missed you kitten" he says in a soft whisper that is almost too low for me to hear.
"So much."
That's all it takes. My lips are on his before I can even think about stopping myself. All logic is thrown out the window when I feel him kiss me back, his mouth parting as he kisses me in earnest. I don't even pause when things start to get heated, my mind shutting down as I let him do what he wants.
Taehyung's hands are quick at undoing the buttons in the back of my dress, the red fabric sliding off with his help. A breathy moan exits my mouth as he drags his lips down my neck and onto my chest, him softly kissing along the edges of my bra. His shirt is already off and somewhere on the floor, my hand running up and down his abs.
"Fuck" I whisper softly as he sucks on my neck, my hands reaching up to pull on the short strands of his blonde hair. I moan again before forcefully pulling his face up to mine, our lips molding together perfectly. His familiarity flows through me as his hands explore my body, his tongue caressing mine.
"Wait" I say breathlessly as I pull away. My mind and judgment is clouded and fuzzy due to the massive amounts of alcohol flowing through my system, but I know that this shouldn't be happening.
"This is so wrong" I whisper against his lips. Even so, I am unable to pull away any more than I already have. I can feel it when he breathes out a sigh, his lips brushing mine with every word.
"But it feels so right."
He's right; it does feel right. Everything about this feels right, from the way his hands feel on my body to the way his lips feel against my own. I let him push me so that I am laying down, him suspended over me as he takes off the rest of both of our clothes.
My breathing is labored, sweat already glistening on my body. The sheets below me are crinkled yet soft against my skin, a pillow beneath my head. Taehyung pants above me as he stares into my eyes, his blonde hair plastered against his forehead. I can't help the moan that escapes my mouth as he enters me, my eyes clenching shut.
"Fuck, you feel good" he grunts as he lowers his head so that it is by the crook of my neck. Goosebumps form on my skin where his breath touches me, my skin tingling from the sensation. I know that this is incredibly wrong, but I am way too drunk to figure out why. All that I can focus on is the pleasure that is coursing through my body.
Taehyung is here. Taehyung is here, with me, and I can't be happier. After all of this time apart you would think that I would have gotten over the bastard, but a tiny part of me still loves him. That part of me can't help but still love him. He was my first love, and he will always be.
My moans get louder as he picks up his pace, my hands clenching onto my sheets. His body feels amazing pressed against mine, my head thrown back at the sensation. I can feel every move he makes as he fills me up completely with him, the feeling surreal all in itself. I didn't think that it could be possible, but he got better than how he was when we were in high school. This feels so much different than when we were still kids.
I can already feel my climax coming, the alcohol in my system making the time feel as if it is flying by. I can tell that he is close too from how his thrusts have gotten sloppier and quicker as he becomes desperate for release. His lips connect with mine again as my body tenses as I cum, him orgasming as well. The overwhelming pleasure that is coursing through me is unbelievable, my stomach clenching and then unclenching as I wait for my high to end.
Taehyung suddenly springs up and off of me, moving away from the bed so fast that he almost trips over his feet.
"You have got to be fucking kidding me" he mumbles to himself as he grips his hair. I slowly sit up as I watch him stalk into the bathroom before he curses again, walking back out into the room.
"Tae.....what's wrong?"
"Rain....I'm so sorry. The condom broke."
Everything stops, my heart pounding erratically in my chest. I can't believe this. He came in me? No. I can't be a mom! I can barely take care of myself most of the time. How am I supposed to take care of another person?
"--didn't realize. I swear it didn't break until right before I came. Fuck! What are we going to do? I can't be a father; I might kill it on accident. Holy shit, I'm freaking out."
I tune back in as Taehyung talks to himself as he pulls on his clothes, deciding to do the same but with my pajamas. I sigh before putting a smile on my face, trying to be as convincing as possible even though I am freaking out as well.
"It's ok Tae, don't worry. I'm on the pill, and it has a 99% success rate or some shit like that."
"Are you sure?" he asks with wide eyes, coming over to lay in bed with me. I smile as I nod my head, snuggling into his warmth.
"Positive."
(A/N: I fucking love irony lmao)
Flashback end
"Just think Hoseok. We always used protection and nothing went wrong. Something did happen when...."
I trail off. I can't finish that sentence without breaking down in front of the Doctor. He is probably already judging me, and I wouldn't blame him. I watch through watery eyes as Hoseok shakes his head, reaching out and intertwining our fingers together.
"That's not what I meant Rain. I know that I am probably not the father, but that doesn't matter to me. No matter what you decide, to keep the baby or not, I will always be by your side."
The tears stream down my face as I look up at the most beautiful human being that I have ever lain eyes on. He is perfect both inside and out, and I thank God every day that he came into my life.
"Why are you like this? I have messed up over and over again, and yet you are still with me. You still want to be with me. I do not deserve you Jung Hoseok."
He shakes his head, " you're wrong. You deserve the world, Rain. I may not be able to give it to you, but I will try."
