Haunting Memories

Chapter VI

Your POV:
Kylo continued training me for the next couple weeks and I was able to witness various different sides to him. Although he presented a cold exterior, I had seen a softer side to him the few times it had been visible through the cracks of his facade. In addition to that, I had quickly realized the extent of his short temper. It was a miracle that the training room was still intact after the multiple attacks that he had upon the innocent walls.

He had taught me tips on how to better wield my lightsaber and how to utilize my connection with the force. He had also put me through rigorous physical training, far more than had been expected of me during my time as a stormtrooper. I had gained more muscle in the past few weeks than I could have ever imagined, even having gone through the rigorous stormtrooper training. I had never been so fit in my life.

In addition to the physical strength I was obtaining, it was nothing compared to my mental strength. Kylo had taught me to resist his prying into my mind and I had finally found the strength to prevent him from seeing any of my thoughts. I had also worked on invading the thoughts of others. Kylo wouldn't allow me to penetrate his mind, but I did practice on unsuspecting stormtroopers.

I returned to the training room after lunch, finding Kylo alone in the room without his mask on. He was hunched over on the ground with his face turned away from me and, although I could not read his thoughts, I could feel that there was something wrong.

"Go back to your room, training is over for today," he instructed me, not even turning to face me.

"May I ask why? I'm ready to keep going, I promise you," I spoke, hoping that he would allow me to stay and I could discover what was troubling him.

"It doesn't matter, I have more important things to do than attempt to train some idiot like you," he spat in response, my heart sinking at his words. I had thought that I had improved greatly while under his wing, but it was clear that I had not.

Not willing to give up, I began to try to search his thoughts to discover what was truly wrong. I knew that he would not cancel a lesson merely because I wasn't improving the way that he desired, there had to be more to it. Even though I had never successfully penetrated his thoughts before, I knew that I could at least try if he refused to tell me anything.

I was overcome with a vision of sitting in a cockpit of a ship I had never seen before with an older man teaching me the controls. Next to us sat a giant, hairy creature who made grumbles ever now and then. Somehow I was able to understand the creature and it because clear that he was someone close to me.

"See, Ben, you're a natural at this. I can't wait to see your mother's face when you show her how well you can fly," the older man smiled, a sight that warmed my heart.

But there was something more to the memory, something that made me feel lost and confused. I wanted to know who these people were, what they had meant to Kylo. Were they still alive? Had they been killed fighting the Resistance?

Before I had any time to react, I was thrown against the wall of the training room, breaking the connection I had into Kylo's thoughts. I looked up and found Kylo glaring at me furiously, finally allowing me to see the tears that filled his eyes.

"You will not try to pull something like that again, do you understand?!" Kylo roared at me, the sheer intensity of his voice making me shiver in fear. He pulled out his saber and began attacking the wall in his anger, thankfully taking it out on the infrastructure instead of me.

"What was that that I saw?" I questioned curiously as he lowered his weapon, trying to act brace through my fear.

"That is none of your concern. Now, leave this room before I have to make you," he growled, pointing the tip of the saber at me.

I began to walk out of the room, but I found myself unable to leave him in such a state. Despite the anger that was flowing from his body, there was so much pain and sadness that remained. I couldn't just leave him there to suffer on his own.

Instead, I walked back over to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, "Kylo, if you ever need to talk, I am more than willing to listen."

"Why would I need to talk?" he hissed, but I could see his facade breaking.

"I don't know, sometimes people are troubled by things and need to talk it out with someone else. And you clearly don't have any one else you can go to, being rather high in the chain of command and all," I continued, only praying that I wouldn't end up chopped in half by the end of this.

"Why would you care so much about me? I am simply your instructor, your master."

"You are more than that, Kylo, you-" I broke off, unsure how to put the admiration I felt towards him in words. It was true that I had always looked up to him while we trained, he was a wonderful teacher, despite his temper tantrums. But I couldn't help but feel that I harbored more than a mere admiration for my teacher.

"I am what?" He questioned, shifting slightly so that we were only inches apart.

"You gave me a purpose in life, you've saved me from being another faceless soldier programmed only to kill and be killed. For the first time in my life, I feel like I might actually belong somewhere and it's because of you," I admitted, afraid to look him in the eyes. "You may only be my instructor, but you are also my savior. Perhaps now I can return the favor to you."

"Who said I needed a savior? I am Kylo Ren, Master of the Knights of Ren, why should I need any one to save me?"

"Kylo, in those brief moments that I could see your thoughts, I felt how lost and heartbroken you are. Please, let me help you find your place, let me help you heal those wounds."

Kylo cupped my face with his hand and shook his head, "(y/n), someday you may come to realize that not all wounds can be healed, no matter what you or anyone else tries."

...

I know this might be moving a bit fast with the whole deep admiration y'all have, but keep in mind that they have been training together for weeks now (and I'm sure you are all in love with him anyway as you wouldn't be here if you weren't) 😘