Haunting Memories

Chapter XXV

Your POV:
As soon as the transport landed, I ran from the ship and through the crowd of awaiting Resistance fighters. I knew that Luke wanted me to tell what had happened as I had been the mastermind behind plan B, but I wasn't willing to waste a minute informing the Resistance of how we were able to defeat Snoke.

I could hear people calling me back, but I ignored them and instead darted through the awaiting crowd and into the base. Once inside the base, there were far less people to avoid, but every now and then I had to employ my fast reflexes to avoid crashing into people. In record time, I managed to arrive at the med bay, finding Ben sitting up in the bed, talking to a med droid.

"Ben!" I cried out in elation, still not quite believing that he had actually pulled through.

His head whipped around when he heard my voice and a smile broke out across his face as he returned my excitement, "(y/n)!"

I ran to his side and enveloped him in a hug, placing a kiss against his lips, "oh Ben, I was so worried that you weren't going to wake up. You've been in a coma for weeks now with no change in your health and oh force I was so afraid that you were lost to me."

"(Y/N), what happened to you? Why are you bleeding, where have you been?" He asked in concern, making me notice the cuts I had received during the fight against the praetorian guards.

"Oh, um, about that," I began, unable to look Ben in the eyes. "I-I had to go on a mission with Luke and Rey to prove my loyalty to the Resistance."

"And what was that mission?" He pressed, clearly able to tell that he had made me uncomfortable. To be honest, I was frightened that he would be enraged to find out that I had killed Snoke, but I knew that he would find out eventually.

"I-I am so sorry, Ben. Please don't be angry at me, but I-I had to kill Snoke," I confessed, preparing myself for his harsh reaction.

"Y-you killed Snoke?" He repeated, as though in shock. I nodded hesitantly and Ben let out a relieved laugh, "(y/n), I can't believe that you did that! How did you manage to get out alive?"

Confusion washed over me and I asked, "you aren't angry that I killed your master? I-I don't understand."

He shook his head, "(y/n), that man has been manipulating me since I was a child. There were times when I wanted nothing more but to return to the light or at the very least leave the dark side, but he used his control over my thoughts to keep me in the First Order by fear. Knowing that he has been eliminated lifts a huge burden off of my chest. But why did you kill him if you were so uncertain about it?"

"I agreed to join the Resistance in order to save you, killing him was something that was necessary to keep you alive. But I must admit that I felt relieved that he wouldn't have a hold over me anymore either," I answered, taking Ben's hand in mine.

"You joined the Resistance simply to save me? (Y/N), why would you do that?"

"Well not just for you, Ben there's something that I have been meaning to tell you for a while now, but have never found the correct time to do it," I confessed, knowing that he needed to know of our child. I took in a shaky breath and forced myself to look him in the eyes as I told him, "Ben, I'm pregnant."

"What?" Ben asked in confusion, seeming unable to believe what I had just said.

"I'm carrying your child, Ben. I knew that if I continued to fight Skywalker and Rey, I wouldn't be able to win, so I agreed to turn to the light in order to save you and our child."

"And they just let you go on that suicide mission to kill Snoke even though you were pregnant?! They were willing to risk both your life and the life of our unborn child?!" Ben asked angrily, rage radiating off of his body.

"No one knows about it, I wanted you to be the first one to find out. Besides I selfishly wanted Snoke to be dead and I knew Rey and Luke wouldn't be able to do it alone, I made the decision to go on this mission."

He shook his head, "(y/n), why do you have to be so reckless?"

"It all worked out in the end, didn't it? I see no reason to linger on the fact that we could have been killed. Besides, there's more that I need to tell you. When I was fighting Skywalker, he recognized me as one of his students at the academy. Apparently my real name is Lucia Antares-"

"You're Lucia?" He asked in shock, as though remembering me. "But I don't understand how you weren't killed when I attacked the temple."

"I had been sent home a few days before to see my mother, who had fallen quite ill. I was with her when the First Order attacked our village, kidnapping me and training me to become a stormtrooper. And even though I've discovered that my real name is Lucia, I still prefer people to call me (y/n), so please don't feel the need to change how you refer to me," I explained to him, watching him as he listened intently.

"What do you think they'll do to me now that I've awoken?" Ben asked after a moment of silence.

"It will probably be similar as to what they did with me. You will remain in chains for a few weeks until Luke feels that you are safe to move around freely and during that time, Luke will train you to let go of the dark side and embrace the light."

"(Y/N), although I am willing to leave the dark side, I don't think I'm ready to return to the light. Especially in this environment, I don't think I'm ready to fight alongside my uncle and mother, especially after having killed my father," Ben confessed to me, looking almost like a lost child.

I nodded in understanding, my heart aching for him, "I will see if I can talk to Luke about it, I might be able to convince him to let us go. I'm just hoping that this war will be over soon and we can just live together in peace without having to choose sides of the fight."