Haunting Memories

Chapter VII

Your POV:
"Let me help you, Ben," I pleaded, placing my hand over his. "That is your real name, is it not?"

He nodded, "when I was born, I was given the name Ben Solo."

"Solo? As is Han Solo?" I questioned in shock, wondering if he was somehow related to that piece of Resistance scum.

"I am his son," Kylo replied, unwilling to meet my gaze. "And my mother is Leia Organa, the leader of the Resistance."

"Then how did you manage to end up on this side of the fight?"

"I'd like to think I was destined for the dark side since I was born. My grandfather was Darth Vader, the terrorizing face of the Galactic Empire. There was not a soul in the galaxy who didn't fear his wrath, he made entire systems bow down to him. Of course, my parents, fooled by the light side, tried to convince me that my place was with them. And I believed that for the longest time, even agreeing to train with my uncle at his Jedi academy. But while I was there, it became clear that that wasn't where I belonged. I was filled with too much darkness, although that was added by my inability to friend the other Jedi that were training. In my isolation, I took solace in the only thing that was always there for me- the dark side of the force. Snoke began invading my thoughts and tempting me with a promise of a better life. Then one night, I woke up to find my uncle standing over my bed with his lightsaber ignited, ready to kill his only nephew. I knew I needed to protect myself, so I brought the blade of my lightsaber to his and caused the ceiling to collapse on top of him. Fueled with anger and hatred, I destroyed the academy that he had tried to establish, turning his padawans to the dark side and killing those that refused. Then, from the ashes of my uncle's failures, I created the Knights of Ren and put an end to the Jedi, or at least that was what I thought. But my uncle survived my attack and now I must kill him before he brings the Jedi back into power."

"Your uncle is Skywalker? Ben, why didn't you tell me this before?"

"Would it have changed anything? It doesn't matter who Skywalker is to me, all that matters is that he must be stopped and Rey along with him. With them, the Resistance has a large chance of overcoming the First Order and subjecting the galaxy to they chaos that they call government. Does knowing that I am the nephew of Skywalker change how you feel about me?"

I shook my head, "it doesn't matter to me who your family is, it doesn't change the fact that you are a skilled fighter and an even better teacher. But this doesn't explain why you felt lost and desolate."

"I cannot tell you that," Kylo replied, stepping away from me and picking up his fallen mask.

"Please don't do this, Ben, don't hide away from me. Perhaps I can help you," I pleaded, not thinking I would be able to bear him shutting me out now.

"The Supreme Leader would kill me. I can't let anyone know-"

"But I'm not just anyone am I? I am your apprentice, you can trust me with anything."

"I-I cannot," he replied, making me sigh in defeat.

"Very well, but if you ever need someone to talk to, I am here for you," I assured him, kissing his cheek before turning to leave the room.

I did not know what made me kiss him, it had simply felt right. Even so, I could feel my cheeks redden with embarrassment as I turned from him, hoping that it wouldn't make things awkward between us. It was clear that he didn't feel the same way about me as I felt about him. Hell, I didn't know how I felt about him.

I had only taken a few steps before I felt Kylo's hand on my shoulder, turning me to face him. After a moment's hesitation, he leaned down so that his lips touched mine. Letting my eyes close at his gentle touch, I felt myself responding to the kiss. It deepened in ferocity, Kylo kissing me with such passion that I couldn't help but let out a moan. I entwined my fingers in his luscious hair, as he pulled my body closer to his.

"I-I love you (y/n)," Kylo admitted as he pulled away from the kiss, gasping for breath. "But, we cannot do this-"

"And why not?" I questioned, fearing that I would die from a broken heart should he end our relationship before it had had the chance to begin. I was just starting to figure out what all of these emotions I felt towards him meant, I couldn't let him shut me out now. "Who is going to stop us?"

"The Supreme Leader will not agree to this, we must focus on our training," he replied, taking a step away from me.

"Who's to say that our relationship will distract from the training? Kylo, please, we both know that we won't be able to ignore these feelings forever," I urged him, wrapping my arms around his neck.

"God how I wish you weren't right," Kylo muttered, placing his lips on mine once more. "And you can continue calling me Ben if you wish."

"So now will you tell me why you felt so unhappy earlier?" I asked, running my fingers through his hair.

"This isn't something I should be telling my apprentice-"

"Then don't tell your apprentice, tell the woman who loves you."

Ben took a deep breath and sat down, indicating for me to do the same, "the light side of force has been trying to reach me for some time now. I have resisted it the best I could, but the Supreme Leader could sense my internal struggle. In order to snuff out the last bit of light and prove my devotion to the dark side, he had me kill my father. I managed to murder him, but it didn't have the affect that the Supreme Leader had desired. Instead, I was left more conflicted than I had before. I am reminded of him in every thing I do, he is constantly haunting me. I will admit that we never got along, especially after he sent me away, but he was still my father."

"Ben," I spoke, sympathy rushing through me.

"No, (y/n), I don't need your sympathy. All I need is for you to stay here with me, your presence has a soothing affect on me."

I smiled at him, "I'll stay with you for however long you desire."

...

I apologize for not uploading sooner, my life's been a bit hectic lately, but thankfully a snow day today allowed me to slow down a bit! I hope you all enjoy this chapter!