Haunting Memories

Chapter XX

Your POV:
Living on Dantooine was even more boring that it was to live aboard the Finalizer. Ben remained unconscious, leaving me with nothing to do nothing besides sit by his bedside, chained by my cuffs. The base psychologists had decided that Luke would be in charge of turning me back to the light, but until my change was complete, I would be under lock and key.

I was thankful that they at least still let me leave the room that acted as my cell in order to see Ben. Although I did have to be escorted by an armed officer, I could visit him whenever I wanted. The rest of the time, I was locked in my room, where I would be delivered meals and be visited by Luke.

While I visited Ben, I complained to the med droids about my nausea, having them give me something to make me less sick. The last thing I needed was everyone finding out about my pregnancy. The other symptoms I was able to hide, but I was afraid of Luke getting suspicious of why I tended to get sick so often.

Luke had kept his promise and told me about my past, stirring memories that had been hidden away for years to resurface again. My full name was Lucia Antares and I been one of Luke's students at his Jedi academy, not one that particularly stood out, but one who was a hard worker and compassionate. A few days before Ben destroyed everything, Luke had received word that my mother was extremely ill and was most likely not going to last very long. Wanting for me to see her one last time before her imminent death, Luke sent me back to my home on Kuat.

I had just left Coruscant when Ben destroyed Luke's training camp. Luke didn't know exactly what happened to me after I left, but based on the fact that I ended up a stormtrooper, he guessed that while I was on Kuat, the beginnings of the First Order had raided the village and I had been kidnapped in the process.

While Luke was informing me of my past, I asked why he had tried to kill Ben, remembering his conversation with Leia and what Ben had told me during our training. He explained that he had been so surprised by the amount of darkness that Ben was harboring that, for a moment, all Luke could think of doing was killing his padawan. The feeling had flickered our almost instantly, but the damage was already done. Ben had awoken to find his master- his uncle standing over him with an ignited lightsaber, ready to strike it down upon him will he was sleeping.

I was facing a woman who looked as though at one time she had been quite vibrant and beautiful, but had turned frail and gaunt with illness. She was losing her life rapidly, but was more concerned about the stormtroopers destroying everything around us. I did not understand why I felt as frightened as she looked, these stormtroopers were my allies, unless they had discovered my betrayal.

The woman tried to help me escape, having me hide in a hidden compartment of the house we were in. Unfortunately, there was only enough room for one of us, so she was left to be captured by the troopers.

"Momma, you can hide in here, I can fight them," I cried out, shocking me with the revelation I was looking upon my mother. "I have learned so much at the academy, I know I can keep you safe."

She gave me a sad smile and placed a kiss upon my forehead, "I know that you are strong, my darling, but your fight will come another day. You must know that I will not survive long, I would rather die protecting you than because of some illness. Just hide in here until the stormtroopers are gone, then use this money to get a ride back to Coruscant and tell Master Skywalker what has transpired here, I am sure he'll want to know."

My vision became blurred with tears, but the argument with my mother was not one that I could win. She closed the door of the compartment, leaving me alone in the darkness with only the sounds of screaming from outside. I tried to remain an obedient child but I soon noticed the smoke entering the compartment, making me aware that the troopers had set the house ablaze.

Desperate to save myself, I slipped out of my hiding place and came face to face with my mother's body lying on the ground, a bullet have gone straight through her head. The flames licked her clothes, causing the body to swell up in flames. Knowing that I would die if I stayed any longer, I tore my gaze away from my mother and ran from the burning house, tears streaming down my cheeks.

I had never been more terrified in my life, there was no where for me to hide. My village had been completely destroyed and the bodies of my neighbors lined the once peaceful streets. Worst of all, I wasn't even armed with my lightsaber to defend myself. I ran into the distance without a destination in mind, my only goal to escape the destruction as quickly as possible.

My surroundings began to change as I ran, rather quickly as though the scenery was melting away. A blood red lightsaber ignited, one that I was extremely familiar with. I let out a sigh of relief, finally feeling safe.

"Ben, thank the maker you're alright, I was worrying when you wouldn't wake up from your coma," I smiled, rushing towards the man I loved.

Instead of returning my love, Ben advanced on me with his lightsaber and yelled, "traitor!"

My face fell and my heart rate quickened as I asked, "what are you talking about? Ben, you're scaring me!"

"I can't believe that you thought I could actually love you, you're worthless and weak!" He continued, bring the blade down upon my unsuspecting body.

"Ben!" I cried out as I shot forward in bed. It took me a moment to recall my surroundings, assuring me that I was still safe in the Resistance base. I tried to calm my breathing as I assured myself, "it was only a dream, (y/n), everything is alright, it was simply a nightmare."

But the thought of him killing me and his harsh words would not leave my mind. When I tried to fall back asleep, the image would not leave and it was as clear as though it had happened in real life. I knew I wouldn't be able to fall back asleep and lying around would only prove torturous. Instead I got up from my bed and knocked on the door to be let out.

The person assigned to watch over me during the night unlocked it and gave me a quizzical look as he asked, "what do you want?"

"I want to see Ben," I informed him, holding my arms out for the cuffs that had to be placed on my wrists.

"At this hour at night?" He asked hesitantly. "What are you playing at?"

"Please, I just want to see him," I practically begged, knowing that his presence would be soothing.

My guard finally nodded, placing the restraints on me and walking me down to the med bay. The room was completely empty save for the patients and a few droids who monitored the patients in case of emergency. My guard stationed himself outside of the room and I sat down by Ben's bedside.

"I've had another nightmare, Ben," I whispered to him, taking his hand in mine. "It enveloped what I've just learned about my past, but then it morphed into you trying to kill me. I-I don't really know what to do anymore, I cannot sleep at all. Luke says that it is probably a result of me tying to turn from the dark side, but that means there is no way to stop them besides to give in to the darkness. I can't do that, Ben, they'll leave you to die. I cannot lose you, I cannot go through all of that pain."