Artificial Water

Chapter 22🥀

Jongin

I had barely pulled the car door closed or the blood was dripping down onto my shirt and Kyungsoo handed me a tissue. As I didn't take it from him he started wiping underneath my nose, leaning closer to my face. I pulled away and snatched it out of his shaking hands. He watched me with confusion written all over his face, but I didn't bother to do anything about it. Yes, I felt sorry for him but the way he had pushed me away not only when I kissed him made me want to push him away for once. To break the circle we were slowly drifting in. "Who is he?" My voice was harsh and I could see Kyungsoo shifting uncomfortably in his seat. 

"He's the son of a... a friend of my mother," he explained while wiping his hands on his jeans like they were dirty. 

"You guys are together?" I had to ask him because the pain I was feeling in my chest was growing unbearable. "Is that why?"

"No!" He exclaimed. "Never. The only reason why I talk with him is because he's the only one that knows... I mean... Our parents wanted us to get along. That's all." 

"Your parents?" I turned my head to look at him and noticed he was staring out of the window, following the lines the raindrops made with his finger. I wanted to hug him now more than ever but I needed to hear some truth out of his mouth first. "Tell me about it." 

"My dad was always too weak to leave my mom or do anything about her behaviour, until the day he died." He seemed to choose his words carefully as he spoke. "She started seeing other men after a while, including people you would warn your daughter to stay away from. She got dragged into things that seemed fun at first but I could slowly notice the change in her. She couldn't stop the things she did to herself and it only got worse. She made the choice to care more about herself than about me. Then I met Joonwoo at school. He was very sweet and we became friends. Until I took him home with me. I hadn't brought anyone home since the trouble with my mother, but I trusted him. Wrong move it turned out to be."

A deep sigh escaped his lips before he continued. "My mom liked him a lot and so she ended up inviting him and his father for dinner. Everything went downhill from there."

I didn't want to interrupt him but the question was burning on my lips. "What do you mean with that?" 

Kyungsoo turned his head slowly, looking into my eyes with tears in his own. "He made sure my mother could keep using drugs, Jongin. She's an addict." 

I finally gave in and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him close to me. "Is that why you ran away?" I asked, not being able to ignore his obvious pain anymore.

I felt him shaking his head against my chest, "not exactly. I won't lie to you anymore, but I can't tell you this. Not yet."

"I understand," I assured him as I rubbed his back. "It's okay." 

Kyungsoo had stopped shaking and was now cuddled up in my arms with his eyes closed. "I am sorry for making you seem like a liar while I was the real one. I just couldn't handle the situation I guess." 

I hummed in understanding, "wanna go home?" 

He tilted his head enough to be able to look at me. His hair was messy and his eyes were still glistening from unshed tears. "Home as in your place?" 

I nodded, feeling like the world around me was slipping away. I knew I shouldn't let myself think about the things I could do, but my eyes slid down to his lips without me noticing. I swallowed thickly and Kyungsoo must have noticed it since he moved away from me. I hated the fact these little things could hurt me. Kyungsoo was slowly taking over my mind and I wasn't sure if I could ever stop now I had a taste of him. 

"Jongin," he whispered to get my attention. "Please." 

I Glanced at him with furrowed eyebrows. Please stop or please do it? I couldn't get the question to leave my lips and therefore it got stuck and felt like a lump in my throat. I gently brushed some hair from his forehead and noticed Kyungsoo's eyes hadn't left mine. Did he want it? I wiped his face clean from the tears and waited for him to say something. Something that would take away the haze in my head or take me further into it, anything that wouldn't keep me in the middle. He lowered his head and stared down at his hands, spreading his fingers. "I guess it did became a habit after all." 

"Why did your dad stay with her?" Somehow the way he said 'habit' made me think back at that time he told me about how he went to his mother's bedroom every night after his father passed away. 

He looked up at me, his eyes vacant. "I guess he liked to rescue the people that didn't want saving and then realised he couldn't. Giving up in the end." 

"Do you want to be saved?" The question was out of my mouth before I could stop it.

Kyungsoo's face scrunched up slightly before turning into a frown. "Why do you say that?" 

I knew I must have reminded him of something he rather didn't think about, but I wasn't exactly sorry for asking it. "It's okay to admit you need it." 

He turned his face and at that moment I knew I had made a mistake. "You don't have to patronise me." 

"I didn't mean it like that." With a sigh I reached out to him and stroked his hair softly. "I just meant that you don't always have to act strong." 

"You think I'm acting strong?" he asked in disbelieve. "I've cried so often out of self pity. Heck, I even tried to take my own life. Do you realise that?" 

I kept silent and Kyungsoo crossed his arms, clearly not liking my lack of words. "I like you a lot." I surprised myself by speaking these words and I could see the same on his face. "Please stay." 

"Why do you say that?" His voice was soft as he watched me intently.

"I feel like you are leaving," I admitted. "Please don't." 

"I... like you too," he replied before flashing me a shy smile. "I really do."

I leaned closer to him and waited for him to object, but he kept still. I stopped until our noses almost touched and I could see Kyungoo's eyes fluttering closed. I carefully inched closer and pressed my lips onto his. This time our lips melted together with need from both sides. He tasted just as I remembered him and I kissed him harder to get more. Kyungsoo moaned softly into my mouth as his hand grabbed a fist full of my shirt. We broke apart when a ringtone went off, forcing Kyungsoo to pull away and take his phone out. 

He stared at the screen as it lit his face with an eerie glow. "It's Joonwoo."