Artificial Water

Chapter 24🥀

Kyungsoo

"What's wrong?" Jongin's voice was slightly higher than normal and his eyes searched my face for an answer. I just kept listening to the ragged breathing at the other end of the phone. He was probably waiting for a reply but I had lost my voice. I could see him sitting on the sofa in our house in my mind. His long legs slightly spread as he was leaning forward, elbows on his legs and a grin on his unshaven face. His hair slicked back in a way that no hair could escape. "I've been waiting for you."

I needed a moment to realise the voice had come out of the phone instead of my memory and I shuddered. "Why?" My voice was full of fear and Jongin glanced at me with worry all over his face, but he didn't understand. It wasn't Joonwoo.

"You know why." There was a long pause before he continued. "It's better if you come back."

"What's it to you?" I asked, suddenly feeling confident with the phone being between us. "I don't remember being important in your life."

"You are for your mother," he replied without hesitating. "So give up your hide and seek game. We gave you enough time to play."

"My mother?" I scoffed. "Are you kidding me? All she ever did was putting things in the first place instead of her only son. I don't know how that's called important. She's the important one to you."

"You can tell her that yourself. Don't you want to?" He questioned in a sweet voice. "Come on Kyungie, don't take it all out on me."

"Don't act like you are a saint," I snapped. "You brought nothing but problems with you. Leave me alone."

"Don't make me do things I wouldn't have to do if you were just being cooperative." His voice was low and the sweet edge was gone. "I don't have time for this."

"I said, leave me alone." I tried to sound as steady as possible but I couldn't speak louder. I was annoyed at myself for holding the phone with a shaking hand and for not having confidence enough to tell him what I really wanted to say. Instead I just lowered the phone and hung up. My eyes met Jongin's and I immediately regretted it. They were asking me for an explanation I didn't want to give. "He was just trying to convince me."

"To?" He shivered slightly as he wrapped his arms around his body. I hadn't realised he had been without his jacket all along.

I moved closer and noticed he had goosebumps all over his skin. "To come. You know what I answered." I didn't look at him while telling this lie. Afraid he would be able to see through me.

Jongin frowned but didn't ask further. "I'm gonna call Hayoon," he announced before walking off to the small kitchen, probably wanting to be alone there since he could easily made the call here.

I decided to give him the privacy he wanted and headed into his bedroom, closing the door behind me. I kicked my shoes off before grabbing the backpack and dragging it to the side of the bed, sitting down before opening it. Since Jongin would not look in the bag, I put the things I didn't want him to see in it along with the books. He found out about the phone so my only visible secret was the pile of papers. I took them out and leaned back against the headboard. The letters looked like they were written in a rush which was exactly what had happened. I had trouble telling people how I felt and writing things down was so much easier, but the words came fast and if I didn't write quickly they would disappear again. I wrote everything I wanted to say but couldn't and it had been a relief.

I slid my thumb down the words and stared at the black ink until the letters seemed to dance in front of my eyes. I blinked and held back the urge to cry as I read the words, 'I'm sorry, father.'