Colors// Mike Chang Glee

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"Oh... I'm sorry," I said quickly before turning to go back into my room. But before I could I heard a door close and someone's hand was suddenly on my arm.

"Wait," I heard Mike whisper. I gasped and turned to look at him still with wet hair, which flung into my view slightly, slapping me in the face. I pushed it away over past my shoulders as I looked back at him.

"Why did you lie to Andy? You never said we went out last night," he whispered still holding onto my arm.

"Because, Mike..." I said in defeat. "I know the way he thinks. As soon as he hears that I've been spending time with someone, he'll think he needs to protect me. Whether you were a girl or a boy. He just thinks he needs to protect me. And I don't want him worrying over me. So I didn't think it was a big deal," I explained quietly so Andy didn't hear us. 

Mike still wore his hair up in a quiff and his eyes were sparkling. Everything about him was interesting to look at.

"I did," he started. "You said no one ever took you out before," he said. Slowly my heart began to race.

"I'm sorry Mike," I apologized. "I just don't want him worrying. Soon that's all he'll do if he does find out. I'm sorry," I said before turning back into my room, shutting my door so I didn't have to see Mike. As soon as I heard the door click shut my heart began to thump against my chest. I collided face first into my bed and the tears began to spill out. I silently cried into my blanket, I was such a horrible person. I didn't care about other people's feelings, I lied to my brother, and now I'm hurting someone I didn't mean to hurt.

Mike and Tina were my only friends and I already ruined one of them. I silently cried into my pillow sitting up with my back against the headboard. I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Then I started to think again. Which is never good when I'm by myself, I think about things someone would want me to go to a counselor for. I've contemplated my death a few times. It's not anyone's fault I think that way, I just do.

I closed my eyes, wiping the tears away from my heated, tear-stained cheeks. I didn't have anyone to do that for me, no one to talk to about my feelings. No one. If I talked to Andy, he would worry about me all the time and I would bring him down with me if I did. I told him once about how I felt about my depression, very lightly about it though and he went a whole month breathing down my back making sure I was okay, and I wasn't thinking about anything suicidal. Which I wasn't when he did check up on me.

I took another deep breath, calming myself down. I could hear the door downstairs open and shut. It was probably my dad, he got home just a little bit after Andy and I did. I bolted upright and checked if the bathroom light was on from under the door before slipping into it. I sniffled quietly and took some toilet paper and wiped my eyes. I flushed them down the toilet and looked myself in the mirror. I didn't like it when people saw me cry, to know I was vulnerable and weak, I didn't like it so I acted like a badass who doesn't have a heart.

I saw the skin around my eyes was red and my eyes were bloodshot. Fan-fucking-tastic. I threw some cold water on my face and wiped the water off my face with the hand towel. I looked myself back in the mirror and tried to forget about what I had just done. I hated crying, and over myself. I ran back into my room and sat on my bed with my sketchbook in my lap. I began to sketch out something I didn't even have to think about. It was a figure, a random figure. I heard three knocks at my door and I bolted up. 

I sniffled again, "It's open," I shouted to the person on the other side. I then focused more on my sketch thinking I'd make my eyes go back to normal.

Soon my door swung open and Andy stood at the door. "Hey..." he yawned. "Can you take Mike back home? I'm sorry Autumn, I just really need to catch some z's after all this working out and a lot more football practice. Please?" he asked again, looking sleepier than ever. I expected my Dad to be at my door but it was Andy and I was pleasantly surprised. I guess I didn't really see how tired he was.

I nodded my head hesitantly. I didn't want to be alone in a car with Mike at the moment. I felt terrible and I hated telling people about my feelings, I always kept them to myself and I'd like to keep it that way.

I sighed and slipped on my shoes slowly, dreadingly making my way down the stairs. There I saw Mike leaning up against the wall near the door in the foyer. I made eye contact with him and looked away to grab the keys from the counter in the kitchen and then turned back to where Mike was who held the door open for me.

"Thanks," I gave a fake smile, my eyes felt heavy and my body felt numb. I didn't want to talk, or even spend any more time alone with Mike, it scared me shitless.

I turned the truck on without interruptions. "Andy wasn't actually that tired. He just said that cause I wanted him to," Mike said finally as I drove out of my driveway. I gulped down a mouthful of spit before glancing over at him.

"How come?" I asked nearly out of breath. My heart was threatening to pound out of my chest and my stomach was on fire.

"Because I needed to talk to you. To prove something," he said quickly looking over to me.

"You don't have to prove anything to me. I'm sorry if I sounded like an asshole earlier but I just have... a hard time expressing my feelings outside of my head," I bit my lip, making a turn to get onto the highway.

"Yes..." he said slowly at first. "I do. I told Andy I wanted to spend some time with you because we're friends. And I also told him I didn't want to bore him when we talked about Glee. So he made up a lie to get out of having to come," Mike explained.

"I asked him if I could go along with you," he continued. "And I just wanted you to know... about the whole worrying about you. You were right," he breathed out, leaning on the center consul which only left us about a foot away from each other. I looked over at him as I turned down into his community.

He shocked me. I've been right only on a few occasions, and whenever I was, people would be dicks about it and never actually say that I was right so hearing this made me feel different. It made me feel like I was an equal and not just an extra. I remained quiet nevertheless.

"So I just wanted you to know that. You were right, and I shouldn't have made you feel so bad about last night. I just... to be honest, I hadn't snuck a girl out of her house like that unless she was my girlfriend, so it was nice having a friend to go out with for a night," he smiled. "Even though the outcome ended up as a bust. I want to apologize again for that," he added shifting back into his seat.

I smiled, parking the truck onto the side of the road next to Mikes's up-kept house. "It wasn't a complete bust. It was fun, it was a small adventure," I smiled turning to look at him who then looked all comfy in his seat. "I'm sorry for getting so upset. Sometimes I wonder why guys even put up with girls' bullshit sometimes," I began to speak. Mike looked at me with interest."I have too many complicated things going on" I breathed out before unlocking the truck to let Mike out.

"Everyone has complicated feelings," he said, not moving a muscle as if he had intended to spend the rest of the evening with me in the truck. "It just depends on how well you show them," he said before exiting the car and walking up to his house. I watched as he entered until I could no longer see him. I sighed and banged my forehead up against the steering wheel.

"Why?" I said before banging it again. "Do I"..." have to be"..." so fucking awkward" I whined quietly to myself. I looked back up and shifted the gear into drive before I realized Mike was standing outside the truck the whole time. 

Damn, he ran fast. 

My heart dropped and beads of sweat formed on my forehead." And thank you for the ride," he said quickly.

"And I find your awkwardness cute," he smiled the most stupidest, goofiest, cutest smile ever before jogging up to his door. I died then and there.

Awwwww. I love y'all!

-V