Langst

Broken again

Lance's Point of View.

I couldn't bear to see their faces as they saw me hurt someone. The memories I worked so hard to move on from were now fresh in my mind, and the unbearable pain ached in my heart. I could hear my team's shouts calling me, but I couldn't face them.

Blue sensed my distress and roared for the entire castle to hear. I scrambled to her hangar and climbed into my seat as the screen lit up and she sent me waves of comfort as I wept. She hinted that the rest of the team were standing outside asking me to come down, but I was in a horrible state - I couldn't come down looking like this!

I turned on the comms.

"I *hic* just need *hic* a moment to calm *hic* down. I-i'll be *hic* fine just give me *hic* a few minutes." I tried to say, but I broke down further and before they could hear anymore, Blue turned off the comms and sent more waves of comfort towards me. I sent waves of gratitude back to her whilst she purred.

A sudden urge exploded within me, and I clawed at my arm trying to get rid of the urge, opening the wounds etched into my skin, and my bandages heavier with blood. I felt my sanity slipping a little, and I only managed to grasp a small part of it. I felt myself breaking again.

I heard knocking on the lion, and I wept more and more, curling myself into a ball. I closed my eyes but all I could see was Sophia's face frozen in fear, and my father's joy in torture. I even started cutting again after my siblings helped me come off it - I am such a failure, a waste of life. Sophia didn't deserve it! I DID! I ShOulDn'T HaVe DOnE WHaT I Did!

My breaths shortened a little and I could feel the panic attack coming along with the darkness, but I counted from 5, calming my ragged breathing along with my mind. Blue also calmed me, giving me the feeling that I was immersed in water. I blinked and in that time I saw brilliant blues and small bubbles surrounding me, the salty sea ever so clear and comforting. Soothing.

Cub. Tend to your cuts and sleep. I will awaken you later.

That was the first time I ever heard her speak to me, it was such a gentle voice, like mama's. I felt the weakness and the emptiness that bore a hole deep in my heart grow lighter as my eyes closed into a fitful sleep of past nightmares.

Keith's Point of View

Lance was stubborn and refused to come out from his lion that curled protectively.

"Oh this is bad. It's just like that time before the Garrison." Hunk spoke first, breaking the silence that was thick in the air.

"W-what do you mean?" Pidge stuttered.

"Lance looks like he's reverted back to his old self. Before he went into the Garrison, I heard his father broke out of prison to get revenge on him and he just became a total wreck because of it. He became depressed, had panic attacks, cutting-"

I cursed out loud and slammed my fist into the wall. I remembered seeing something white and pink under his sleeves but I didn't manage to make the connection.

"W-whoa Keith?" Shiro jumped back a little surprised.

"I think I saw bandages under his arms and they were soaked in blood. I didn't manage to connect the dots, damnit I shou-"

"Wait he started already? This is worse than I thought." Hunk began to pace around the hangar, trying to pick things from his memory muttering. "I remember Nayla and Kira hugging him, make American pancakes to calm him down, looking at the stars wrapped in blankets, dancing in the rain, the sea, pools. Ack! None of this is much use right now!" Hunk became frustrated and patted his head hard, almost hitting the wall himself before Shiro placed a hand on his shoulder to calm him down.

I've never seen Hunk this worked up before. I knew he was caring, but I never expected such a calm person to be able to act like this. And for Lance no less.

"Hunk, the first thing you said might actually work. We could try and convince his lion to open up through one of our bonds with our lions."

"Coaxing her to let us in eh?" Coran summed it up, his mustache perking up. "I don't like that way, but for the safety of Lance I hope it works."

"Okay guys, all paladins will try to convince their lions to let us in. If that doesn't work, then I don't know what will."

All the remaining paladins outside closed their eyes an connected to their lions, feeling their presences stronger than before

What is it child?

I sent Red images of Lance crying, or at least imagined it, along with the feeling of dread that settled into my gut.

I prayed that Red would convince her, but she didn't budge one bit. Rather, she pushed me back.

I could see that Shiro and Pidge were having the same issues, stress written across their faces as they tried to communicate with their lion.

However, Hunk seemed to have better luck, and soon, the blue lion stood up from its crouching position and ran at Hunk, with Coran behind him. I tried to get close to them too but Blue activated the particle barrier, stopping me in my tracks and allowing both of the guys to enter the cockpit.

Why didn't Red convince her? Why wasn't I allowed to go in too?

I regrouped with Shiro, Pidge and Allura to discuss what just happened.

"The blue lion allowed both Hunk and Coran to go in, but not us. Any ideas guys?" Shiro asked.

"Maybe the connection with our lions aren't strong enough yet?" I spoke.

"Or maybe Lance's connection with his lion is too strong? Stronger than what the other lions can take, and maybe that's why ours is weaker?" Pidge shrugged her shoulders. "Shiro, any ideas?"

"Hmm, none from me. I'm as clueless as you guys are."

"Actually I might have a theory." Allura spoke up. "How much time did you spend with Lance in the past week or so?"

"At least 3 hours a day?"

"Same here."

"Me too."

"Me three." Allura spoke as she looked at the lion.

"Do any of you know his favourite thing?"

"No." All of us said after a pause.

"Maybe it's because we didn't know him well enough." Allura whispered just loud enough for us to hear.

It seemed to make sense - none of us here really knew Lance - the only one who seemed to know a lot about Lance was Hunk.

We're horrible teammates.

Hai hai, thank u guys for reading so far ;w; it makes me happy

so happy i feel like crying ;_;

but anyway, I am overloaded with homework after i did dis.

oh well (it was worth it)

Bai bai~ *wink*