Lady Knight Missione (Merlin fanfic)

Chapter Forty One

There's a breeze in the air when I walk up beside Gareth who stares down below and beyond. We're standing on the castle, overlooking some of the town and into the forest surrounding Camelot. It's a nice view, and the surprising warm weather makes it even nicer. Don't get me wrong, it is cool, but not cold even though it should be.

"It's nice up here." I comment after a few minutes of standing next to him.

He doesn't say anything.

"It's going to be alright, Gareth. Time will pass and the pain, it will lessen, this I can promise you."

"You know nothing of what I feel." He says in the most broken voice I have ever heard.

"Maybe not, but I have lost people, I know what that is like." I say.

"Do you?" He asks looking at me with tears in his eyes. He looks back to the view. "I don't think anyone knows what this feels like. It's, Missy it's like a sword is in my heart. I can't stand this. I should have been there. I should have woken up when... When that woman took her! When she took Lio from me... I SHOULD HAVE BEEN THERE!"

His yelling is loud and quiet at the same time as tears mix in with his words. He mumbles over and over again, "I should have been there. I should have been there. I should have been there..."

I turn to him and with no hesitation I wrap my arms around him and hold him close. He collapses in my arms and we fall to the ground. And yet I hold him. He cries, and I want to cry too. His pain, it's so raw and horrible. I want to take it away, but all I can do is hold him and say, "I know. I know. Shhh... I know... Shhh..."

...

"She was my sister." Says Lynette as fresh tears fall from her face. She doesn't bother to wipe them away. They mix with the others.

She refuses to leave her bed. And Gaheris can only watch as she falls apart, as his brother falls apart. There is nothing that he can do, but let the grief wash over them and hope for the best.

He watches his wife weep for her little sister, until he can't take it anymore. He doesn't even bother to take off his shoes as he crawls into their bed and wrap his arms around her. She turns so that they face each other. Gaheris pulls her closer as she brings herself more to him. She cries more.

Gaheris can only hold her.

A few tears escape his own eyes, but he quickly wipes them away.

Her pain is his pain.

...

"How are they doing?" Gwaine asks Gaheris solemnly.

They sit in the nearly empty tavern, after being so long without words passed between them. Gaheris had his hands full, and still does, but he needs some time to his self, to visit and talk with a friend. He needs to not feel his wife and little brother's pain any longer, at least for a little while.

"Lynette has only got out of bed a couple times, but Guise's treatments seem to be helping." Answers Gaheris. "Gareth, I haven't seen much of, but he is dealing with it as best as he can. Missy is helping him when I can't. I have to be with Lynette. She has no one at all."

Gwaine nods his head. "Missy cares for Gareth a great deal. He's more of a brother to her than an apprentice."

"I know." Says Gaheris. Then with a very bad attempt at a smile, he says, "So what tricks have you been up to?"

Gwaine knows immediately what Gaheris is trying to do, so he attempts to smile as well and answers with, "Not much. Although I may have been the one who stole those chickens last week."