Yours Truly, Camila (Camren Fanfic)

September 23, 2014 (I)

Dear Friend,

I am not a huge fan of exercise. The perspiration and shortness of breath that is, cardio, is not my cup of tea. However, today; I was glad that Coach Tedder instructed us to run two miles during class. When people say that running and jogging can help clear your mind; they are telling nothing but the truth. I ran for about thirty minutes and sped walk for the last thirty minutes until class ended. Within those times, I managed to dismiss most of the notion and scenarios that was to come once I confronted Lauren. 

I guess that was the calm before the storm because as soon I arrived at my second period, AP Calculus; I started to contemplate the situation again. It was awful, so bad that it got to the point where Mr. Hendrix had apparently called my name three times so I could go up to the board and solve a problem. As you may have guessed, I got the problem wrong which came as a shock to Ally, who is also in my class. Ally mentioned that in all of the three years that we had math together, this was the first time I had ever gotten a math problem incorrect. I think Ally was overexaggerating, but she swore she wasn't. 

Finally, third period approached. Lauren and I routinely organized the books that students had returned from the day before. After we finished, we sat down on one of the roundtables next to each other and began to read my book while Lauren did her AP Biology homework. I guess my feelings of distraught and worriedness had taken over my facial features because Lauren asked me what was wrong. I thought about avoiding the question, but I didn't wanna lie and so I told her what was bothering me. Our conversation went as follows:

"What's wrong Camila?"

"Nothing... It's just... Do you remember what happened last Friday? You know, besides us talking?" I'm pretty sure I was stuttering my words and Lauren could probably hear the nervousness in my voice.

"What do you mean Camz?" 

"It's just... You may have done something and I don't know if you-"

"You mean when I kissed you?" Lauren interrupted before I could finish my sentence. This left a blank expression on my face as I had not expected Lauren to remember or be so straight forward. "I kissed you because I was caught in the moment by the nice things you said to me. I guess it touched me. I don't know... I guess I was a little drunk too, but I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring it up because I didn't want things to be awkward between us you know? It won't happen again. I'm sorry Camz."

"It's okay." That was all I could manage to say along with an unsure smile before we returned to our activities. 

So there. I got my answer. I think my heart crumbled a little when Lauren said, "It won't happen again." I want it to happen again. I want to kiss Lauren. I want to listen to her problems and be there for her. I want to be the shoulder she cries on at times of despair and the confidant that she shares her deepest secrets to. I want to be her sun in the morning and her moon at night. I want to be with her. 

For lunch, Lauren decided to aid Normani in handing out flyers for her homecoming queen campaign. Normani was determined to be homecoming queen this year especially after Leigh-Anne beat her last year by two votes. I would never tell Normani this, but I voted for Leigh-Anne last year, but only because Leigh-Anne handed out cupcakes for her campaign. Still, it saddens me knowing that I could have been one of the two votes that helped Normani win. 

As Ally, Dinah, and I was left alone to eat without Lauren and Normani; I decided to tell them that I confronted Lauren and what the outcome of that came to be. As per usual, the two made me feel better with some comforting words along with some jokes that made me laugh. This is why they are my best friends. No matter how terrible I was feeling or how hard my day seemed to be, Ally and Dinah knew just how to make me feel better. Dinah also insisted on coming to my house again today and making me her famous trifle. Ally wanted to come, but she said that she had already made plans beforehand to hang out with her boyfriend, Will. 

Dinah sure knows how to make me feel better. The trifle that she had made tasted amazing as always. I may or may not have eaten more than half of how much Dinah made. Nonetheless, I still saved some for Sofi and my grandma.

When we went back up to my room; Dinah explained to me how Lauren wasn't worth my time if she can't even see how great of a girlfriend I could be with my "charming looks, smartness, and hilarious jokes." Those were Dinah's words if you couldn't tell. She proceeded to tell me that I could find someone better than Lauren. I didn't believe Dinah's words and I don't think she did so either. I'm pretty sure Dinah just said that to make me feel better because deep down, Dinah would be Lauren and I's number one fan if we were to be together as a couple. 

I was still hungry and craved more of Dinah's trifle. Dinah insisted on getting some more for me downstairs. She emphasized how she normally wouldn't be this nice to me, but since I wasn't feeling too well; this was the only time it was acceptable.

A few seconds after Dinah walked out of my room, I heard a thumping noise. The noise was repetitive and became prominent after each one. Thump, thump, thump. I got up from my bed in a panic and rushed out the door to see Dinah laying on the floor, her eyes shut. I hurried over to Dinah and tried to shake her to wake up, but she wouldn't. 

My grandma who also rushed out of her room to see what had happened decided to immediately call 911. My heart was raising as I held Dinah's head, still trying to wake her with my voice. This is not happening. I could not bear to lose one more person again.