Boyf Riends (One Shots)

Evan (Part 2)

Michaels PoV

Evan and I started to hang out a lot. We sat next to each other in almost every class, we ate lunch together and even after school we were inseparable. Some days we watched movies, most likely disney movies and sang along, some days we walked through the park. Evan loves the park, he knows way to much about trees, but I think it is cute how passionate he becomes when he talks about them. Some days I tried to teach him how to play AotD, certainly he is terrible at video gaming, but I don't mind.

And we told each other almost everything. His dad left him, when he was young, just like Jeremys Mom left Jeremy. I am so lucky to have both my parents! And in fact he isn't shy, he has social anxiety, that is not the same, I mean, I knew that before, Jeremy had it as well....

At some point I realized I could like Evan, like... like! He is cute and he always acts awkward, which is so cute. So yeah, I think I have a crush on him and I want to tell him!
So I invited him to a walk through the park. I planned to tell him under us favorite tree, the big apple tree on top of the little hill. I am sure he would love that, he couldn't say no, right?

In class I am not able to concentrate, I am constantly fidgeting. Evan already asked me if everything was alright twice. But I just denied and grinned.
I also notice Jeremys curious glares from across the room. But I don't care, why should he suddenly care about me again?

When it finally rings I want to storm out of the classroom to prepare the last things for my, hopefully, first date with Evan, when someone grabs my arm. Confused I turn around and look at a nervous Jeremy.
Why is he nervous? He wasn't nervous since... the incident.

"Hey, Micha!"
He shyly smiles at me, what makes me pretty mad. What does he think? Everything is alright? I just forgive him!? For ignoring me, for insulting Evan?
"What do you want, Jeremy?"
Wow, I sounded so harsh, that wasn't on purpose, but I also don't regret it, even when Jeremy shrugs.

"I wanted to ask you if you would want to meet? We could play video games at my place, my dad isn't home!" His eyes look down to his feed and his voice is cracking.
A part of me wants to hug him and never let him go, goddamn why does he have to be so cute?

"I c..." I get interrupted by Evan who walks out of the classroom while yelling: "Bye, Micha! See you later!"
My eyes follow Evan till he left the room. Now we are the only people left in the classroom. Suddenly Jeremy snorts.

"Okay, I get it!"
Jeremy is about to leave when I hold him back. Is he really angry? Because I found a new friend while he replaced me with Christine?

But when I turn him around to shout at him, I see tears rolling down.
"-y -Why are you crying?"
He sniffs before asking:
"Are you a couple?"

What!? Why is he asking that?
"No!" He breathes out, "I mean not yet, I wanted to ask him today."
Maybe telling him that was a mistake, cause Jeremy instantly starts sobbing even harder.
What is going on?
His legs start to shake and eventually give in. Luckily I catch him and slowly set him down, holding him in my arms.

"Jeremy, what is going on?"
I speak quietly and as calm as possible. He tries to answer me, but his sobs stop him every time.
"Calm down, buddy. Take deep breaths!"
I pat his head lightly. When his breath starts to normalize, he looks up to my face, staring directly in my eyes.
He looks so sad, I almost forget why I am mad at him.

"Do you love him?"

"What!? No! I mean someday... maybe!"
I unwrap my arms and let go of him.
Getting up, I slowly remember that I originally was angry or at least annoyed.
"Honestly, Jeremy! What the hell is going on!?"

Abrupt Jeremy jumps up grabbing my hand. "Don't ask him!"

"Jeremy, stopp! You left me, for her! You forgot about me! Left me alone!
Damn it, I had a mental breakdown at this fucking Halloween party, but even when you knew that, you ignored me! And Evan is a great person, he is there for me, I finally get better, I'm finally happy again! Why, Jeremy!? Why are you doing that!?"

While shouting I started crying and I regret it. I hate losing control. Now I feel empty, I can't even look at Jeremy. I mumble: "Sorry.", and turn to leave.

"Cause I love you!"
He whispered, his voice was weak and almost not audible, maybe he didn't even wanted me to hear.
My heart breaks, I can't look back and leave.

When I left the school building I started running, my head is empty, I just want to run away from everything.

When I reach my home, rush in my basement, not without locking the door. Then I break down. I just cry and can't stop, no matter how hard I try.

Why had Jeremy do say that? He is with Christine, he had a crush on her for forever.

Is he playing a stupid game with me?

Why am I caring so much?

Do I still love him?

Stupid, Michael! Of course you do!

The longer I think about, it becomes more and more clear.

All those things I like about Evan, were the same things I loved about Jeremy.

The blue eyes, the smile, the awkwardness, the cute stutter, the passion about the things they live.
Damn it, I tried to fill the gap Jeremy left.

But Evan isn't Jeremy and he will never be, he is a great friend, but nothing more.

I probably will never stop loving Jeremy and I will never be satisfied.