County Falls

Chapter 15: Emails

It was the day of the big party and after a late night conversation with Justin, and because it was last minute, I reluctantly agreed to go as the cheerleader to his football player. My one condition was that we'd have to be the undead jocks, complete with bad make up and blood splatter. I found my old blue pleated skirt from freshman year that was too short which made it perfect for my get up. I planned on pairing it with a white sleeveless crop top that I scribbled "go eagles!" on the shirt and styled my hair in pigtails. It was cheap, but it got the job done.

My mother called me to her room to help her find the perfect outfit for her date. I swear she was worse than me when it came to obsessing over something. After numerous changes, she decided on a knee length black dress and silver cardigan. I described the outfit she chose as "sophisticated without trying too hard" which was the perfect selling point.

"So what did you two discuss for tonight?" I asked my mother as she fastened her earrings.

"Rick, that's his name, is taking me to an early dinner at an italian restaurant and then to a showing of Wicked."

I was throughly impressed with this guy. If someone took me out on that date, he would definitely get a good night kiss. Well played Rick, well played.

"What do we know about this guy?" I asked genuinely curious.

"Well his profile says he's 5'10, an accountant," I yawned. "Don't be rude Kaia" she reprimanded. "He has black hair with a bit of graying on the side."

"The salt and pepper look, nice."

"I told him I would meet him at the restaurant just in case he isn't who he says he is. I don't want a crazy person to know where we live."

"Good thinking ma."

"What are your plans?"

"I plan on watching tv and eating snacks up until the last minute, then squeezing in to my little outfit, doing my make up and then going to a party that I don't want to be at. Fun all around."

"That's nice honey." She obviously heard nothing that I said but that was ok, she was preoccupied.

I hugged her goodbye at the door, wished her good luck, and let her go.

After an hour of watching senseless reality shows and eating said snacks, I got bored and decided to work on my applications. I was always horrible at relaxing and being lazy. I sat at the computer desk and opened up a few of the college websites. I browsed through the NYU page, which was my first choice school. I had yet to tell anyone this however, fearing the reactions from my mother and Jase. I factored Justin in to this too, afraid that the thought of long distance would scare him off.

I checked all my social media sites to see the latest buzz on which relative was getting married, who was getting knocked up, and the latest celebrity gossip. I opened my email to see if anything important came through, which it rarely did. I proceeded to delete all the nonsense when I came to a subject line that read "daughter" from an address that I didn't recognize. I was about to delete it, thinking it was sent to me in accident but the subject line intrigued me, plus it was another reason to procrastinate from getting ready.

I opened the email to see a novel in the body. The length was almost enough to turn me away when I saw my name appear several times. I started from the top and, as I skimmed through it, I couldn't believe what I was reading. It was from my absentee father, writing an apology explaining in depth the reasons that he left and his life now. I immediately shut the laptop after I read the words "wife and daughter". I couldn't take anymore. My head was spinning. I thought I was angry when Vanessa pushed me in the mud but that was nothing compared to what I was feeling now. I wanted to hit everything in my path. How did he get my email and what made him think that it was ok to appear out of no where? My hands balled up in to a fist and I hit the wall next to me. I felt no pain except for the pain happening inside me. I ran to the bathroom and threw up everything left in my stomach and then I laid on the floor and cried my eyes out.

I had no idea how long I laid there when my phone vibrated in my pocket. I check to see Justin texting me a picture of his costume. Shit. I forgot all about the party. There was no way I could go now. I wanted to continue to curl up in the fetal position and ignore everything around me. I managed to text Justin that I wasn't feeling well and that I wasn't going anymore but he should still go and enjoy himself. The phone vibrated again but I didn't bother to check it, instead I threw it against the wall and watched it break to pieces. Watching it fall to the floor gave me a twinge of happiness which scared me at the same time. I realized at that point that I should talk to someone before I got more destructive. I grabbed my keys and ran out the door.

Jason's house was a huge mansion in the best part of town. His dad was a big business man who still traveled back and forth from County Falls to LA. I rarely saw him and on the occasions that I did, he was polite but cold. Jase couldn't stand him and hated when ever he was around. I walked to the front door to ring the bell, hoping that none of his parents were home, unfortunately, I wasn't that lucky. Jason's mom opened and stood at the door. She had her workout attire on with no signs that she had actually been working out and a bloody Mary in her hand.

"Kai!" her eyes lit up and she pulled me in to a hug. "I haven't seen you in so long! You look gorgeous. How's your mother?"

"She's fine." I gave her the vaguest answer possible. I wasn't up to sharing details of my life especially with someone who had no interest in it.

"That's wonderful Kai. Jason's upstairs right now. Go on up and tell him to hurry." She gently pushed me towards the stairs and I climbed up. The door was open when I got there and I walked in to see Jason buttoning up his shirt. I caught a glimpse of his hard chest before he finished.

"What are you doing here?"

"Nice to see you too." I walked further inside avoiding the mirror. I didn't need to see what I already knew. I looked like shit, just how I felt.

"That's not what I meant. You never just drop by here. Ever."

"Yeah, well I didn't feel like being home anymore."

"I really can't talk right now. You should probably go home." he was trying to get rid of me which made me feel lower than low. Jase was busy but maybe that was a good thing. Maybe this was something that I had to deal with alone.

"Are you sick?" he asked when I continued to sit on his bed without a word. The word sick made me want to vomit again. I just nodded. He looked ready to comfort me, but instead went back to his closet and grabbed his sport coat.

"Are you going somewhere?" I asked when my eyes focused on him and noticed he was wearing a suit.

"I have to go to dinner with my dad and his clients before the party. The only time he needs me is when there's something to gain for his business." His eyes dropped but I saw the hint of sadness. When he finally stopped to look at me he could tell something wasn't right. "Is something wrong?"

I opened up my mouth to let everything I was feeling out but Jason's mom called from downstairs. "Hurry up Jason! I don't want to hear your father complain to me yet again about your tardiness!"

"I gotta go." He gave me a sorry look. "Can we talk later?"

"Sure." Was all I got out before I was rushed out the door.