Fading away

Chapter 4

Dinner was dreary, the same people, the same droning chatter. James sat next to me arguing with Thomas Andrews about some London tailor that they both go to. Yes, they weren't talking about the expected first class conversation topics, but all the same- dinner was a blur of endless murmuring. Even though I did enjoy talking to The Countess of Rothes.

"Darling, I'm going to the smoking room to carry on my conversation with Mr Andrews." James said to me after dinner. I sighed, I quite fancied a chat with him about what I'd heard from the countess at dinner.

After he retired to the smoking room, I left the dining room, and walked outside to the bow of the ship, and I just looked at the waves. The beauty of the endless sea in front of me, I pulled my hair out of the restricting updo the best I could, and just let it blow in the wind. There was a chill in the air, but I didn't mind.

"Is the world caving in?"

I turned around. It was James. I smiled. He walked towards me, and put his arms around my waist, and kissed me softly on my lips.

"Not here, please." I told him.

"Why not?"

"Remember that new nightdress I told you about?" I winked. And with that, we went back to the room.

I woke up in the morning with a distinctly uneasy feeling that I was being watched. So I turned around, to seen James in a peaceful sleep. Startled, I jumped out of my bed, and pulled on my chiffon robe over my undergarments. I tapped James' shoulder "Darling, you need to get up or we'll miss breakfast."

He groaned, and then pulled himself out of bed.

"James can you please help me with my corset I don't want to disturb Olivia."

"Why wouldn't I?" he smirked.

"Go away and get dressed yourself while I put my other underwear on." he groaned and then walked out of the room.

At breakfast we met the woman that the countess had been talking about- Madeline Astor. She was actually, despite the gossip, a very nice woman. The same age as me, and married to J.J Astor, the richest man on the ship.

"I do believe that people are gossiping about me." she sighed.

"Well, yes, but it'll blow over-they were doing it to me yesterday."

"But I can't imagine why they were doing it to you?"

"New money." I replied.

"Well I suppose you've heard it all about me- pregnant by my 48 year old husband?"

I nodded- I was beginning to realise what kind of world I was living in...