The Dragon Queen // (Under Revision)

Small Spaces

Tsuyoi had always been terrified of small spaces, ever since she was a little kid. It was just a tick, and over the years she'd learn to tamp down the urge to run. But now, standing in this room she wasn't sure she'd spent more than five minutes in before today, she felt like the walls were brushing against her elbows, like the door was a breath away from her nose. She needed space. Things were changing in her and she didn't know what or why. 

She was falling apart, slowly, and it was killing her inside.

"Tomoe," she said softly, not turning to look at her patron. "All my things are already packed in my room. Can you bring them to the palanquin when you come out?"

"Sure, Tsuyoi." There was a note of pain in her voice.

Tsuyoi? What...? Natsukashii stood at attention.

Just...not now, Kashii.

Tsuyoi shuffled to the door.

"Tsu-chan? Are you okay?" Sakura tried. There was only confusion in her words. And concern. It didn't move Tsuyoi like she knew it should.

"Not now, Sakura-chan," Tomoe said gently. "This is a very difficult time for Tsuyoi right now. She just needs some space."

Naruto didn't speak. He just stared into her back. She felt his longing and his pain and his anger. He was reaching out to her. She pushed his hands away, and she felt him recoil. She didn't look back. If she met his eyes, she would shatter. She just needed to breathe a little. She felt him back away, but he wasn't angry.

Tsuyoi stepped out into the dark hallway. She looked both ways, halfway expecting Chizu to be standing there, but she was nowhere to be seen. She turned right and walked straight, on and on, right out the south door and into the cold night.

A sharp wind cut through her as soon as she stepped out the door. She shivered, but continued on, heading through the winding garden. Winter was just around the corner. She was supposed to arrive at the Dragon Temple before the first snow. She shivered again, and not from the cold this time. She was so scared. She had been tamping down on her fear every day, and now that thing that was causing the fear was now looming before her, it was almost unbearable. And what had happened to her damn brain back inside? Had she been so afraid of Naruto being afraid of her that her mind couldn't handle it?

She walked on, turning on the outside wall. The palanquin was already there; a small, gilded box-shaped structure mounted on two long poles. It was made for four people to carry, but Tsuyoi knew that was a flux. If the shinobi hadn't come, there would only be four people there, so who would sit inside it? And Fukuo could barely carry a basket of water back up from the stream, much less a palanquin with a body inside it.

She couldn't recall, however, if this had been the same one that Hayate had used. She hadn't seen the procession ten years ago. 

"Tsuyoi," a quiet voice said from behind her.

Tsuyoi spun, hackles rising. It was Chizu, wearing a mino. The straw cape fluttered in the wind.

"What do you want?" Tsuyoi barked, her voice sounding slightly squeaky. Clouds of fog billowed from her mouth as she spoke. It was then she really felt the cold. It ripped through her.

"It is almost time to leave," Chizu said softly. "How do you feel?"

Tsuyoi narrowed her eyes. "What the hell do you mean?" Her heart was pounding in her chest. She gripped the fabric of her kimono at her throat, breathing hard. Anger thumped at her temples.

"Do you feel sick? Tired?"

Tsuyoi grit her teeth. "Why do you care all of sudden? Don't you remember when you made me do push-ups for a whole day and a half? Or when I had to run the entire forest? I was sick and tired then, and you didn't care one bit."

Chizu's eyes seemed to deepen in sorrow. "Tsuyoi....I'm...."

"I hate you! I still do! You're so...so...cruel...and...you made me kill that man..." Emotion welled in her throat. Her anger was turning into something much deeper. Much darker. It was sadness. A sadness as wide as an ocean. And she was drowning in it. "You hurt me all the time...and you didn't care at all! You never cared at all! So why ask now?" She shook violently with angry, both hands gripping her shirt. She stumbled back, suddenly unsteady on her feet. She fought to breathe.

Chizu shuffled forward, arms outstretched. She wrapped her arms around Tsuyoi's shoulders. Her arms seemed so weak, so frail. Tsuyoi pulled away from her, but she held on tighter.

"Tsuyoi....I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I did to you. Meeting this boy and his friends showed me that...you...all of you deserved so much more. And I couldn't give it to you. And I hated that." Chizu said, her voice trembling. "All of this was my fault. All of it. And all seven of you beautiful girls suffered for my own mistakes."

"What about our yuimaru? Why did you do that?" Tsuyoi cried, tears falling and freezing on her face. "Why...why d-did you do that?"

"Our...yuimaru...it was keeping me alive. I'm very, very old. And in order to stay alive and raise you, I needed a tether. That's why we picked the strongest girls. To support both of us. And now that it's gone, I'm dying slowly." Chizu's hands slid to her face, over the frozen tears. "But I'm happy you broke it. You have grown up to be a wonderful, amazing, beautiful girl. And every girl deserves the chance to love. And I took it from you."

Tsuyoi stared into Chizu's eyes. She was frozen solid.

"And now this boy comes here, so full of life, of meaning. I want that for you so much. So I will tell you this; my dying wish is that you make Naruto your yojimbo, no matter what the Council or anyone else says. You must go to Muranomachi and choose the next Queen. Leave her there. You and Naruto must go to the Earth Dragon King's temple. And you must kill him."

Tsuyoi's eyes widened. She couldn't even nod. Naruto as my yojimbo? She went warm with the thought.

Chizu sighed and stepped away. "You know, Hayate had a boyfriend."

"What?!"

"His name was Jotaro. They sneaked around a lot. He worked in a rice paddy field not too far from here. I caught them kissing in those selfsame bushes," she pointed. "So you're not the first."

Jotaro? That sounds familiar. "I-I don't like him, okay?"

Chizu turned and laughed. "We both know that's a load of crap."

A laugh escaped her, bubbling up out of nowhere.

"Anyway, so what if I do? At least I won't be here, rotting away, waiting for some dragon to come and eat me," Tsuyoi shot back, crossing her arms.

Chizu smiled big. Then she turned without answering and went back inside, leaving Tsuyoi standing in the cold alone.

Then Tsuyoi jolted.

Tsuyoi! Natsukashiii shouted.

I know. Chizu's going to die. And she wants me to kill the Earth Dragon King...