My Bi Professor [COMPLETED]

10-"I'm sorry."

Ash-

I knock twice at his door. I open it.

Keiynan bolts up from his desk, ignoring the fact that we are still at school, and have to pretend nothing is happening between us. "How'd it go?" He asks, hands on his desk. He inspects my face closer. "H-have you been crying?" His voice was filled with concern.

I rub my eyes again, but the tears stay, glistening in the light. "No. Well, maybe." I admit, sighing. "But..." I hesitate. "I can't do this."

"What?" He questions. He slowly approaches me, putting his hands on my shoulder. "What happened? Did she not take it well? Or..." he trails off, turning his head away.

I place my hand on his chest. "I'm sorry. But..." I chuckle slightly. "I'm gonna be a dad."

He pulls his hand away, jumping back, making my hand fall in front of me. "What?" He voice drops an octave, making me want him even more, and making his Australian accent more audible. But, I couldn't tell if Keiynan did this from surprise, anger, happiness...

I nod my head. "How do you know she's not tricking you? Lying to you?" His accent interrogates.

"'Cus I trust her, Keiynan!" I throw back, slightly aggravated.

He takes off his glasses, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "Ash, does... does this mean you don't want anything between us?"

I sigh. "It doesn't mean I don't want that. It-it just means... that it can't happen. I'm sorry."

"Leave." He says, closing his eyes. (Geez, why do I always make a dramatic 'leave' scene?)

More tears fill me. "What?" I ask, my voice cracking.

"Leave." He points his finger to the door.

"I'm sorry, Kei-," I start.

"You know, you've been saying that a lot." He accuses. "But you're not doing all the things you could be! You don't need to be with her just because of this!"

I sigh. "Keiynan, it... I don't think it's just that anymore." I lie. "You are my professor, and you're 8 years older than me." I tell him.

I run my hands through my hair. "So, I am sorry. I have to go, Professor Lonsdale."

I turn around, and walk out the door. I didn't wait for him to respond.

As I get to my dorm, I fumble with my keys, tears clouding my vision. "What took you so long, Ash?" Nathan asks as he slumps on the couch.

I throw my coat on the rack, not responding. Nathan turns around to look at me, seeing my tears. "What's wrong, Ash? What did Andi say?"

I throw my body on the couch, and the tears come flooding out. I rest my head on Nathan's shoulder, and he rubs my shoulder. "I-I-I-It's nothing, Nathan... it's nothing..." i try to stammer out. Nathan gives me a knowing look, and a big cry comes from me. "I'm gonna be a dad." I admit.

Nathan would jolt up at this moment. In fact, he tried to. But, my head was still on his shoulder, so there wasn't much he could do. "What? Really? Is that good?"

I manage to even just slightly compose myself. "I don't know, Nate!" I scream, sitting up on my own, tears still streaming like a river down my tan face. "I don't know! Maybe! But it's not that, I think. It... I don't know how I feel about Andi, alright?!"

"Hey, it's okay. I get it. This must be hard. And, why all of the mixed feelings right now? Did something happen?"

I think about, just for a second, telling him about Keiynan - Professor Lonsdale, now. "I don't know," is all I say.

He yawns. "Well, maybe we can talk 'bout this tomorrow. Let's get to sleep for now."

I sniff, and nod, not risking anything coming out of my mouth.

The next morning, in his office, our relationship was once again cold. We didn't talk at all. He just sent me to get him a coffee or two.

The only highlight of the morning was the names on the coffee, along with the ones I got for my friends. They were similar to when I first came to this job. Andy, Fenix, Nathen, and Keenin. Mine, once again, was spelled correct. That was the small bit of fun and happiness in the morning.

Once school started, Andi would practically hang on my arm in the halls, and made us basically connected by the lips. At this point, our whole friend group knew, and Nathan always smirked at me when we kissed.

During acting, Mr. Lonsdale refuses to even look at me.

I was never called on, and in general the professor was very short tempered. In fact, he sent two people out of class just for talking.

But, I just kept leaving longing looks at him. I felt guilty for doing it, especially in Andi's presence, but I couldn't help it.

Maybe, I thought, me and Keiynan could have been friends. Well, Professor Lonsdale as I now must address him. But, this was no longer even an option.

But even with the option of my professor out of the picture, I still found my love for Andi... dissolving.

I didn't show this to her, of course. I showed her all the love I thought I could. I spent a few nights over with her, we would always spend time with each other, I would constantly check in on her...

But this was more for the baby than anything.

I never had a normal, functioning family. Until I was 12 I didn't know my dad, and my mom went through men daily, practically. Then, my mom left me with my dad, who soon died, leaving me with my half-brother, who soon killed himself, who left me with his ex-boyfriend.

It was hard growing up, and I wouldn't want this for mine and Andi's child. I wanted him or her to have a normal life, with a normal family.

I enjoyed being able to pretend like everything was okay. Like it was normal.

It was nice to live.

It was nice not to fear.

But it would be nicer with Keiynan.