My Bi Professor [COMPLETED]

29-"No!"

FYI, there are only 7 chapters left—including this, but not the epilogue.

Ash-

No.

Screams.
Cries.

No.

Running.
Rushing.

No.

Talking.
Apologizing.

No.

"I'm sorry, but your mother is dead."

The nurses words were fuzzy, but they clearly echoed in my mind.

Dead.
Dead.
Dead.

I was on the ground, a few feet from the entrance of the hospital. Andi was stunned, just standing there. She was... smiling?

Then, Andi laughed. "No. No, my mom's not dead. You must have the wrong person." Nathan stared at her, while Phoenix rubbed her friend's shoulder. I was collapsed on the ground, not too far from them.

This was all to familiar to me.

When Jax died, I didn't believe it until I saw it. Nathan wouldn't understand. He has never lost a loved one, other than a pet or two. Phee has lost her grandpa, and said she had a similar reaction.

"Ms. Albertson is gone." The nurse said.

I pushed myself to my feet. There was something dream like about it all. Maybe it was all the tears in my eyes, or the strange thought that Addison was dead, but I felt like having the same reaction as Andi.

I snuck behind the nurse, walking to the room.

113. 113.

Sure enough, there was Addison's limp body.

I rushed out, back to the front if the hospital. I then walked in as if I had not just been in there. I walked over to Andi and her group.

I felt as if I had betrayed Andi by seeing Addison's body.

Once I reached them, Phoenix told me what the nurse told them. Her oxygen got unplugged, and her lungs were too weak, especially as her body was asleep.

"Can I see her? She-she's not dead!" Andi pleaded through her uneven breaths.

The nurse nodded, having a soft smile on her lips. She walked us into the room.

That was when Andi broke down. "Ma?" She called as she walked in. She then saw the limp body, and slowly fell to the ground, screaming. "No!" She started screaming. "No! No! No!" It became a chant. A rhythmic, painful, shaky chant.

I walked away. It started as a walk, but ended up turning into a run. A full on sprint.

I was honestly trying to run away from my problems. Everything.

Addison dying. My love for my professor. Sarah. Nathan's silent treatment. And everything else.

But, you can't out run emotions. You can't outrun feelings, or problems.

That didn't stop me from trying,  though.

I ran until I was lost.

I had no idea where I was. It was a buzzing town, cars driving—or more, trying to drive with all the traffic—in the streets, people speed walking on the sidewalks, heads buried in phones.

I went to a random bench and just sat down. I hugged my knees to my chest, and planted my face on them.

The tears just started streaming, after that. I was trembling, audibly crying out.

It took a while before I realized where I was.

I looked up, and saw the familiar apartment. It was where Keiynan lived.

My legs had naturally brought me here in my time of distress. In my foggy mindset, I found it as a sign. Fate.

But, as much as I wanted to, I didn't go to his apartment.

I wanted to. I almost did. But knowing what Sarah could do stopped me.

How did my life turn into such a mess?

I'm in love with my professor. My ex is pregnant with twins. I'm being blackmailed. My friends hate me. Addison just died.

I guess my life was just bound to be as horrible and confusing as Jax's. It's life testing me, seeing if I'll back out like Jax had.

I took a deep breath, trying to compose myself. I started walking away, back towards the hospital.

As I walked, I saw too many painful headlines. Keiynan Lonsdale is Dating Sarah Jackson for Second Time; Exes Sarah Jackson and Keiynan Lonsdale Together Again; Acting's Biggest Power Couple: Lonsdale and Jackson Back Again.

I still managed to find my way back to the hospital. As I entered, I heard them talking about whether Addison should be buried or cremated, funeral details, etc. I went up to the group and started to comfort Andi.

The whole ordeal was too much to deal with. But, I stuck it out with Andi, because she needed me more than I needed her right now.

They decided to finally let us go back to our dorms. Phoenix and Andi both entered mine and Nathan's dorm, and we all silently plopped down on the couch.

We all just sat for a while, letting the silent atmosphere swallow us whole. Everybody always uses expressions during these silences that hurt your chest, that make you feel the weight. They always say, "It's like somebody died in here," or, "Geez guys, nobody died."

But, this silence felt like death. It was as if we felt the dead weight of Addison and her dying body. It was a silence, the horrible feeling in the air, that you could only get after one died. It was unique, unattainable unless one did, indeed, die.

Andi was laying her head on Nathan's chest as he stroked her hair, and I lay my head on Phee's shoulder as she stroked mine.

"What am I going to do?" Andi asked in a voice barely above a whisper.

"Hey," Nathan told her, staring into her blue eyes, "it'll be okay."

Andi shook her head. "I just lost my mom, Nate. It might get better, but it'll never be okay."

I nodded silently. She was right; it never is okay. The pain dims and the tears dry up, but the loss is always there.

Nathan stopped talking, so Phoenix took her try. "Just don't worry, Andi. We'll figure it all out," she assures her.

"Yeah," I chime in. "You were the first person there for me when Jax died. Now, I'll be there for you, regardless our relationship."

"Thank you, Ash. I really need that," she says.

Nathan looks at me, and nods slightly, as if to thank me, too. He knows he couldn't help her through this like I could.

We fell asleep on those couches that night.