Secrets and Lies || LOGAN SCOTT [1]

12 | The Secret is Out

2015 ― Tree Hill, North Carolina

Dear Lucas,
I'm not sure what number letter this is, but I do have a secret I've been holding back from writing, maybe writing it out will be helpful, I'm not sure, but here it goes. I think I have an eating disorder. From all the things I've researched, it seems I have bulimia nervosa, but obviously, I haven't told anyone. Things get so hard at home, that I just turn to food for comfort whenever my parents stress me out or make me sad, but then I feel so bloated and heavy, and want it all gone. So, I go to my bathroom, on my knees in front of my toilet, and use my spare toothbrush to make myself throw it all backup. Obviously, I can't diagnose myself, but the signs are all there, and I know it's getting worse. I know I should tell someone, but in a convoluted kind of way, I think I deserve it. I know that doesn't make sense, it barely makes sense to me as I write it, but it's just how I feel. I don't know if I'll get over it, but I also don't know if I want to right now. How sick does that make me? If this makes you disgusted to the point that you don't want to keep reading the letters, I get it. But if we were ever going to get to know each other, you would've found this out eventually. Thanks for being able to be trusted with my secret.
Logan S.

⇎⇎⇎⇎⇎⇎

Through a series of events, Logan found out that Brooke was no longer speaking to Peyton. She found out that while Brooke and Lucas were dating, Peyton got a call one night that her Dad might have been killed during a work accident, and she had to go identify to see if the body they found was her Dad. Lucas offered to go with her so she didn't have to do it alone. They stayed overnight in a motel and almost slept together. They stopped when Peyton's hair got caught in a puka shell necklace that Brooke had gotten for Lucas. Then, when they came back to Tree Hill, they were still sneaking around behind Brooke's back and Lucas broke up with Brooke after the car accident, Logan knew that last part.

Then Brooke found out that the real reason Lucas broke up with her was because of Peyton because she saw them together on Peyton's webcam. So now Brooke hates Peyton and Lucas, while Peyton misses her best friend and regrets the decisions she made, and Lucas feels like the biggest asshole on the planet. Logan was trying to stay out of it and not pick sides. The situation had nothing to do with her, so she wasn't going to cut off Brooke or Peyton for the sake of the other one.

Logan was also a lot happier staying with Keith. Her urges to binge have subsided because she hasn't been as stressed out from being dragged into the middle of her parent's divorce, and she felt so much better. However, Keith was still encouraging her to keep a relationship with her Mom. She spoke with Nathan every day, in school and outside of school on the phone, and the two planned a visit with their Mom together.

They pulled up to their house at the same time. Logan was in the same car she's always had, a 2015 Kia Telluride, whereas Nathan was in a brand new black sports car that Logan immediately knew was from their Dad. When the siblings got out of the car, Logan raised an eyebrow and pointed to Nathan's car.

"Dad?" She asked and Nathan nodded.

"You know," He said. Logan shook her head as the two of them hugged, and then walked to the front door together. Deb was already standing there because she heard the cars pull up.

"Hey," Deb greeted her kids.

"Hey," Nathan and Logan said together.

"Welcome home. I missed you guys," She said.

"It's only been a week, Mom," Logan said.

"I'm sorry for the way things ended the last time," She said. Nathan and Logan shrugged it off. They figured if their Mom wasn't going to tell them the truth, they weren't going to beg for it.