The Dopamine Rush

Chapter Thirty-One | "Pour my soul.."

Nikolai's POV

"Prince, Prince as in your ex?"

"Yes."

"This is juicy. A real life soap opera." Brett exclaimed. "You sure nothing happened in Wisconsin besides a conversation? How on earth has he managed to send roses to you, with a note and he's not even in the state yet?"

"I don't know!" I shrugged quickly before plopping down on my chair. "Everything that was discussed about Wisconsin is all, nothing more.

"I smell a load of drama coming. You can't take those roses home, unless..."

"Unless what?"

"If Tyler asks, tell him that I got them for you. Only thing you have to do is just put that card somewhere that can't be found."

"Hm, I didn't think of that. Good idea."

"Honey you know the sneak in me comes naturally. You just remember what I said or you'll be dealing with way more than you bargained for."

*

"I didn't think you'd be here." I said to Tyler as I walked into my home's living room.

"I wanted to apologize for this morning." Tyler sat up and smiled. "Wait? Who are those from?"

"Brett." I responded while holding onto the bouquet of roses. "He just wanted to show his appreciation to me, you know being his boss and everything."

"I see. That's nice of him. Anyway, I wanted to apologize. I was completely out of line for coming at you that way. Forgive me?"

"You're forgiven Ty. All is well." I tremulously smiled.

"Thanks. Now, I know you're just getting in but I want to take you out for dinner and once we return, we can do anything you want. I just want to spend time with you."

Feeling guilty was an understatement. Here he was, apologizing to me for his poor actions, wanting to take me out, and willingly offering to do anything I wanted just to spend time together? I'd never felt so fake in my life.

And there I was, accepting his apologies and offers for the evening, all after blatantly lying to his face.

In that moment I realized everything that I told myself wasn't true, was in fact very true. I'd been lying to myself and denying my own screwed up feelings for someone that hurt me. But even after the hurt I still found myself loving, wanting, and needing him.

Thinking back to everything Wendy said, she was right. Tyler was safe for me. He provided the comfort I needed during that time and was used as a distraction.

I felt like a user. Tyler did not deserve to be used. But I couldn't tell him the truth. I didn't want to ruin the day that he was trying to make better.

*

The next day....

"So, let me get this straight. Some miraculous way he sends roses to your job, letting you know he'll be there soon? Then tells you to contact Jennifer if you decide to accept the invitation to meet? If I didn't know any better I'd say he's on a mission. And that's operation get Nikolai back." said Wendy.

"I honestly don't know what to do. I feel so awful about Tyler."

"Listen why don't you just tell him the truth? Stop procrastinating with this."

"I'm just not prepared to do so. I really don't want to hurt his feelings."

"Nik it would be better if he heard it from you instead of someone else. That will bother him the most, that you weren't honest."