Queen Thorn (complete)

Chapter 19

I would like to dedicate this chapter, to Dragon-Born-Princess (CrazyReader14), happy birthday girl. Thank you for all your support, and I hope that you have a great day.

"I love you more than anyone or anything else that I have ever known, but I refused to show you that. Instead, I not only pushed you towards Mason and Adrian. But I pretty much flaunted the fact that I could be with someone, anyone, else but you. And that was terribly wrong of me. I should have been searching for a way for us to be together instead of trying to hide how I feel for you. But in my defense here, I really didn't think that we could ever be together. But that is still no excuse for the way I acted Roza. It is also not an excuse for the way I treated you. I don't know why I couldn't see that we could be together after graduation. Why the idea of my getting transferred to court, to Christian or to some other moroi that lived at court never occurred to me." Again, I tried to gather and focus my thoughts. So, that I could properly explain things to her.

"After I was restored, I thought about all of that, and that is where my self-doubt came from. I know now, just as I knew then, that I am in no way worthy of you or your love. When you told me that you were truly the reason that I was a dhampir again I knew you were telling me the truth. I knew that you would never lie to me. That you are the only person, aside from my family, that I could rely on to never lie to me. I also knew that Vasilisa was lying to me and everyone else. She was taking the credit for what was your idea and execution. Whether you realize this or not, she has always always treated you terribly." I paused for another breath before continuing.

"But I was afraid that if people saw us together, they would look at you as if you were just like they thought that I was, a monster. And I knew it was wrong, according to every rule of being a guardian, but I really didn't care if they thought that way about Vasilisa. Because to me, the way she has treated you since I met you made her a monster. I just didn't want you seen as guilty by association. I realize that I know very little of what you went through to get me back to being myself again. And I am hoping that someday you will be able to tell me. But what she did, was never, never anywhere near the hell that you went through for me. As I said, I knew that then and I know it now." I brought her face to mine and gently kissed her lips.

"Now, as for your question of what is so great about her, there is nothing great about her milaya moya. She is just another spoiled selfish royal moroi, she always has been. You on the other hand, are the most unique and amazingly magnificent person in the world Roza. And I am so so so so so sorry for the way that I have treated you in the past milaya moya. All I can say is that I promise you on my life and the lives of my family. That for the rest of our lives I will do everything in my power to make it up to you. I promise to do my best to not ever make you cry or hurt you again. From this day forth, the only time I want to see tears in your beautiful eyes are in happiness or laughter." (my dearest, my dearest)

I watched her watch me. I didn't know what she was thinking or feeling right now, and that scared the der'mo out of me. Ever since we meet, I could almost always tell what was going on in her head. But now, I had hurt her so much that it was very difficult to guess at what she was thinking. (shit)

"Promise me, on whatever you hold most dear, that you will never hurt me again."

"I promise you on your life, as well as the lives of our future children and my family. To do everything that I possibly can not to hurt you ever again for as long as we both shall live."

"Does my life really mean that much to you?" She asked me in shock.

I smiled at her, "of course it does, I put you first for a reason milaya moya. I told you that you mean more to me than anyone or anything else and I meant it. Everyone and everything comes after you." (my dearest)