I am sincerely sorry for like dying
here's a oneshot I wrote for the DEH amino yeet
TW; Mention of Drugs, Major Character Death, Depicted Suicide.
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Jared sighed, pulling away from the larger male, Connor. He looked up at Connor like a sad puppy, sad to see him go.
But Connor had to go.
Jared couldn't help but quickly kiss the male as well, feeling the smallest urge of tears threatening their way down his face. He wanted to grab Connor and anchor him to the US, not send him overseas.
"I'm going to miss you." Connor held both of Jared's hands in his, swinging them ever-so-slightly.
"Me too." Jared felt a hot tear travel down his face, hugging Connor close.
"Gate 23A, now boarding." The intercom spoke loud and clear. It was now or never. Connor had to go, and Jared had to watch.
Jared walked the two of them to the boarding area, and when Connor scanned his ticket, his heart broke.
"Be safe." Jared gave Connor one last huge hug before letting him walk onto the plane.
Jared stood at the huge window as the plane began to wheel onto the runway and out of sight.
Jared went home, to his now-lifeless apartment, void of the things that kept it living. Connor and his laughs.
----❇----
Jared laid in bed, a picture of Connor against his chest as tears began to evaporate against his cheeks.
Connor hadn't been home in months, like he promised. Connor kept getting stuck into what he did pretty well. He listened to the quick and rushed voicemail from Connor for the thousandth time.
"Hey, Jared. I know said I'd visit you this month, but I can't come home just yet. I love you. Bye." And then a beep, signaling it was over.
That's all he had of Connor, other than his few hoodies that didn't even smell like him anymore because Jared wore them so often, tons of pictures, and, hilariously, a bag of weed he had bought simply to help remember Connor.
It was a lot but a little.
----❇----
Jared was alive but not living.
He was curled up in one of Connor's hoodies, wishing it still had that lovely scent of expensive cologne and, of course, weed.
Jared had managed to find the old bottle of cologne and immediately sprayed some on himself and the hoodie.
He sprayed it on a damn pillow and slept with that, but it never really lasted.
Because he'd start crying, bawling his eyes out over the complete dysphoria of missing Connor. Connor was there for him in hardships. He was there for him always.
And now, he couldn't be.
Jared began to cry into a pillow. This was what his life was, now. He went to a minimum wage job that barely needed him, and he was barely living, really. He only took a job because be needed one. He had given up on everything after a while of Connor not being home.
Connor was always so caught up in things overseas that he never had the time to call.
Jared had a collection of voicemails from Connor that made his day a little better every time.
He had listened to them over 500 times in six months alone.
----❇----
]"Jared, you need to get it together. You're going to go broke, soon. And then you won't have an apartment or anywhere to live and you'll live on the streets." Evan sat on the corner of Jared and Connor's bed, looking at the unresponsive, red eyed boy he once knew as one of the most sarcastic guys ever.
