{cover art by taterdraws on tumblr}
It was cold.
Evan Hansen’s heater broke, and he was left with the cold air from the winter outside seeping through the thin insulation in his tiny apartment. He pulled another coat on, ready to face the full force of the freezing, dry air beyond his front door. He breathed in and out, trying to pace himself. He didn’t want to be too slow with this whole thing, but at the same time, he wasn’t rushing to get to his destination.
Jared Kleinman stood in front of the gray, monochrome door, with the numbers 234 nailed into the dry-rotting wood and chipping paint. He was certain this was the room. He had already tried Heidi Hansen’s house, only to discover Evan had moved a couple miles away, into a run-down apartment complex. He could see why Evan had to choose this place; the Hansen's never had too much money.
He couldn’t bring himself to knock. This was one of the hardest things he’s ever done, and it totally broke down his cool, wannabe facade--one he had given up on after the two graduated. Even if he had given up on the hopeless stunt, he still felt extremely nervous to do this. After all, Evan could still totally hate him. He hoped this wasn’t the case, but Jared was a jerk in high school, especially in senior year.
Just as Evan opened the door, Jared went to knock. His eyes went wide as he saw the blonde-haired male in front of him. He had grown a bit of facial hair since they had last talked and his nervous aura still stuck with him. His eyes were just as wide as Jared’s as he stared back at the smaller man as if he were a ghost.
“Holy shit. Holy fucking shit,” Jared whispered, “You’re still… You exist.” He was at a loss for words, almost relieved that Evan still existed. Not that he’d just disappear or something, but Jared hadn’t seen him in nearly a year.
“Jared, why are you here…?” Evan asked, bamboozled. If anything, he thought Jared would never talk to him again.
“I actually came to-” Jared started.
“Sorry, wait, please come in. I’m so sorry, that was a terrible way to treat a guest,” Evan said as he nearly tripped over his shoe rack trying to open the door.
“No, it’s okay. I actually didn’t think you’d let me in, but that’s fine, too.” He nodded and walked in. Evan walked them to the living room. His palms began to sweat, something that always happened when he was anxious. He wiped them on the couch cushions, his eyes still on Jared.
“Listen, I’m sorry,” Jared started, sighing, “I’m sorry for being such a damn jerk last year and the years before. For fucking car insurance? Who was I kidding? I had to pay for that shit myself, anyway.”
“Wait, you’re, you, Jared, you didn’t do anything. It was all me, really. I tossed you out like trash, and I’m really, I’m sorry.” Evan looked down with an embarrassed blush.
“Yeah, well, I deserved it. I used a dumb excuse to be an asshole. I just thought, ‘Hey, I’m insecure, so let’s project that into an asshole personality.’” Jared grunted. He still hated himself for that.
“Jared, I promise I forgive you,” Evan whispered, finally looking back up.
“You really shouldn’t,” was all Jared said in reply.
“But I, uh, I do,” Evan said as he nodded slowly.
“I guess I forgive you, too, Hansen. You did admit to your mistakes and all.” Jared nodded back, looking him in the eye.
“You really do?” Evan asked in pure disbelief.
“Yeah, I do,” Jared assured, throwing in a small smile, even.
“Thank you, Jared. Thank you so much.”
