The Faith of a Mustard Seed

Chapter Six

     Taking as deep a breathe as she is able, Jasmine slowly gets to her feet wincing as she walks to the closet to begin gathering what she needs for the day. After selecting her outfit, shoes and grabbing her already packed backpack she heads out her bedroom door down the hall to the little bathroom trying to move as quickly as she can. When she enters the bathroom she gently sets down her clothes and pack and turns to examine the after effects of her latest punishment.

     Taking a deep breathe she rolls her shirt up and as her deep green eyes land on what Mike has carved into her flesh, she can't help the fresh wave of tears that slowly begin to fall down her bruised face. Etched into her beaten and battered skin is a single word in capital letters NOTHING.

     Nothing? Of everything he could have written, of everything he could have done, he chose to label me as a Nothing. He calls me Nothing, maybe I am a Nothing. I feel like a Nothing. I don't know who I am anymore. Am I Nothing, the useless waste of space that is the fault of everything? Or am I Jasmine Winters, the orphan who is sickly and lives with estranged relatives? Or am I something else, no I can't think about that. I will never be that again. How could I? I don't even recognize my own reflection in the mirror.

     Lowering her shirt Jasmine's green eyes stay transfixed on her reflection in the mirror, searching for something familiar in the face staring back at her. Why can't I find myself? I stand here looking into the mirror and all I see is a stranger's face. Instead of hair shoulder length with golden curls I see long dark tresses of the darkest night with numerous streaks of glittering green moss. Instead of the healthy weight that I used to be, you can feel my bones with a mere brush of your hands.

     Instead of the warm tanned glow that my skin used to be, my skin is so white and pale I could and most likely would shame a transparent ghost. My green eyes used to shine with love and laughter and now all I can see in them is sadness and pain. I am not who I once was, and I fear I will never be that way again.

     Closing her eyes and taking another deep breathe that makes her ribs hurt while forcing the flow of tears to stop. I made my choice, and no matter what it costs me, be it my freedom, my happiness, my life... I will not turn from my path. They can beat me and put me down all they want, but they will never steal from me the one thing that has kept me alive these past several months..... my faith in God has kept me alive and so long as I continue to believe in him I will be ok.

     But enough is enough I have to get downstairs before either of them, if I am to carry out my plan, and if I'm going to survive I have to. Breathing deeply Jasmine quickly turns from the mirror and begins the long process of showering and getting ready for the day. Fifteen minutes later Jasmine stands looking in the mirror checking to make sure she has applied enough makeup to mask the devastating amount of bruises that cover her face and neck areas.

     Satisfied with her work and after giving what she has chosen to wear, (a thin jacket, the only jacket in the whole closet, a thin long sleeved blue shirt that is almost too small and tight, a pair of skin tight blue jeans, it looked like all of the jeans were of the same make, and a black pair of thick heeled boots), a quick once over she quickly grabs her backpack and quietly heads downstairs to the kitchen hoping she can get there before Mike or Cara.

     Upon entering the kitchen, Jasmine pauses briefly in the doorway to catch her breath and decide how to carry out her fool-hearted plan. Okay, so I need to get a butter knife, a bottle of water, and if I can a little extra food. I don't know how long they will continue letting me eat and drink.

     With her plan in mind she quickly and silently grabs a bottle of water from the over full fridge, a thick handed butter knife from the crowded drawer, a single apple from the towering stack of fruit on the counter, and from the overstocked cabinet three small granola bars from the already opened box. As she swiftly gathers her supplies and begins stowing them in her backpack she makes sure to listen for any sounds of movement from the floor above that would signal that Mike or Cara are on their way down.