The Faith of a Mustard Seed

Chapter Twenty-One

Dear Anonymous Reader,

My days here are long and are slowly coming to an end, but my imprisonment will last longer. From what I can deduce from the latest bout of "lessons," my six-month transformation is almost complete.

In the months that I have been here, the monsters have been slowly and harshly changing my appearance. It started with the bleaching of my skin, taking me from a golden tan to a sickly ivory in a little over a week. After that they've repeated the bleaching torture multiple times, to just as I quote, "Make sure it's been completed successfully and permanently." Lies, they like to hurt me, and the bleaching hurts.

Forced to lay still as foul-smelling, bleach covers your body, blistering and burning your very flesh, and if a blister pops, the pain alone is almost enough to drive you insane, almost. They feed me just enough to get by and I sometimes wonder if the food is laced with drugs. I've lost a lot of weight since I arrived, too much. I can feel my ribs prominent beneath my fingers.

My hair has grown longer than I've ever let it, but thankfully it's still blonde, though I wonder for how long, their last lesson they mentioned bigger changes to come, but I don't know what they mean.

Dear Anonymous Reader,

My heart aches and I want to cry. I hate this place, I hate going through this, why me? Hundreds and thousands believe in Christ, why can't I? Is believing a right that only some have? I don't want to believe that, I can't. I have to stay strong in my faith, if I don't, I will not survive. Their cruelness alone would destroy me, part of me feels as if it already has.

If I survive this, I will never be the same. The six months are indeed coming to an end, when they came this time Cara, wicked woman, told me I could choose a name to go by for when we leave here. I of course wanted to keep my name, but she called me stupid and told me to pick or she'd pick for me.

I apparently took too long to decide because during the seconds of my silence she grew angry calling me an insolent brat, and decided I needed another "lesson" in obedience. She pulled me from the ground by my hair and drug me over to where some chains hung from the ceiling. Forcing my arms above my head, Cara fastened the metal cuffs around my wrists and pushed a small button on the wall hoisting me a little into the air, until my toes barely skimmed the ground, my arm sockets straining from being forced to hold my weight off the ground.

I squirmed my feet swinging off the floor causing me to sway slightly, hurting my arms even more, but I couldn't find a way to relieve my pain and discomfort. Cara just laughed as she strode into my sightlines, a think leather belt hanging loosely in her grasp. I tried to tell her I wasn't being insolent, I had just been thinking, but she didn't believe me, or she didn't care. Without a word she swung the belt striking me hard across my stomach, taking my breath away as a large welt appeared accompanied by a flaming sting.

She worked her way up and down my body front and back, sweat coated my limbs, my shoulders ached from holding my weight, my feet dangled lifelessly beneath me. I didn't even have the strength to hold my head up. When she finally finished, her chest heaving as she stood in front of me she asked me again what name I'd like to be called.....I gave her my little sister's name and the season she died. Cara said it was pathetic and it suited me perfectly before she left the room she took my face in her hand, her nails biting into my cheeks as she whispered, "No matter what the world calls you, you'll always be a nothing to me."