Seventeen imagines

#125 "Love is not easy"

"I like you."

That was my very first confession.

"So what?" he answered, wearing the most cold reaction I saw in my entire life. I got freeze by his stare, and I stood straight like a piece of dang in the middle of nowhere. "What will I do if you said you like me? Nothing, right? I am not interested on you, either have any interest in dating. Bye."

That was my first heart breaking rejection.

I know it is wrong to hope that he a guy like Wonwoo will like me back even if I did the foolest thing I've ever done. Besides, I am nothing and ordinary compare to him. He is famous, he excelled in many ways and he is rich. He made the right decision for rejecting a girl like me. Weren't he?

Weeks passed by.

We saw each other day by day, yet we always act like nothing had happened between us. I was thankful that he never took advantage to my feelings before. Then, I won't hope for more. And now, I am confidently announced that I am starting to move on. Clap for me guys! (ooh jjak jjak jjak jjak, ooh jjak jjak jjak jjak)

Today, I saw Wonwoo again on the Campus' garden. Before, my heart always fluttered whenever I saw him, but today, I feel nothing. I guess that "first love never dies", this famous line, is not true.

I am about to step away, but I saw Jenny in front of him. She is standing straight with her high heels, short skirt exposing his white like porcelain legs, well-done hair and like make up that emphasize her beauty. Jenny is famous, excelled in her studies and she is every boy's dream. In fact, I am slightly envious of her. I once thought that if I will be her, I probably have a greater chance to be with Wonwoo, cause, we will be on the same league.

"Wonwoo," Jenny mumbled, I can feel the shyness in her tone. "I like you."

3 words. Those are only three words. But my heart was torn into pieces as I looked at them.

I have said it, I was in her place weeks ago. And I was scared if Wonwoo will answered her differently from his answer to mine. Pride? Love? I don't know the main reason why am I feeling in vain.

Wonwoo's reaction never shifted, it is always blank and unreadable. He took a deep breath before he gave his answer.

"So what? What will I do if you said that you like me?" he answered.

Jenny was shocked, either I!

"A-Ahmmm. Welll. If you like me too then we can start dating," she offered and show a smile as much as possible. But I guess she is a little frustrated.

"Sorry. I am not interested on you, either on dating. Bye," Wonwoo muttered before he walked away.

That was...UNBELIEVABLE!

I realized there is not wrong in me, nor in my confession. That one who got a problem is him. One reason I think is maybe...just maybe... he is not interested in girls but in guys. If that is true, my pride can't accept. Like...what the hell! My first love is a gay?!

I followed him, on the way to the library, and saw him reading a book at the corner. I walked towards as my steps made a sounds around that silent place.

"Hey," I called him and he looked back. "Are you a gay?" I asked directly.

He frowned and put the book he was reading back to it's place. "What the hell," he reacted before setting his cold eyes on mine.

"Mr. Wonwoo. Did you reject my confession because you are a gay? I saw you rejecting Jenny outside. That was so unbelievable. A normal guy cannot reject a perfect girl like her. She is kind, pretty and successful. If you are not interested in her, even a little bit, that was odd. And that only reason I thought was...YOU BEING A GAY. And--"

I got stopped when he pulled me closer and pinned me on the shelves. As I lifted my eyes to saw his face in almost an inch away, my heart beats so fast. I thought I almost get over him, but I am being weird now. I gulped as big as the highest mountain in this world, hands feel cold and I couldn't blink at all.

"I am not a gay," he stated in a serious tone. I was afraid he would beat me, just by looking at his stare. "What are you doing? Coming in front of me. I already rejected you and you never have any part on my life. Why are you here? Are you really desperate to got my attention?" he continued, now wearing a smirk.

I pushed his chest away, catching my breath. What a jerk!

"I am not... getting your attention. I was just disappointed that I confessed at the wrong guy. Even if you rejected me, I will be happy to gave my first confession and my heart if I know that you are really a great guy. If you are a gay, or a guy who cannot express his love at all, my confession will be meaningless."

His face turned calm, looking at me in different ways. It will be my third time seeing another expression from him.

"I know how to love," he said before biting his lips and looking down. "I can love a girl like you. But I choose not to. Because, I am not in the position to love, or get love."

My heart... it beats again. I guess... I loved the right guy.

He turned around and walked out. I am about to followed him but I saw a paper on the floor. He dropped it. And so I picked it up and read the content. It is not a test paper, research paper or a bill, it is a...

"Medical record?" I mumbled.

I continued reading it. But there are only few words that made my world stopped.

"Jeon Wonwoo. Cancer P-Patient?"

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