Blood Sugar

Part Fifty-Two: Parallel Universe

Rays of sunshine were tickling my face and I blinked my eyes open. John's arm was resting on my hip and a warm shiver heated up my body. Then I panicked. I counted the nights I'd spend with John. Shoot! It was Monday morning. I didn't bring fresh clothes. No toothbrush. Nothing. And I was probably late. I couldn't tell.. clocks were nowhere to be found.

Ryan was gonna kill me.. there was plenty of stuff to do at work and she already had her suitcases packed. I heard a sleepy moan next to me and looked to John who rubbed his eyes. "It's so bright outside." "Yeah.. this means I'm ten hours late for work.. at least", I whined. "Who cares? It's your day off", he said and smiled cheekily. I was confused. "What? How do you know about my roster?", I said and he started laughing. "Haha.. because I'm your boss today. Call UC and tell these exploiters you caught the flu. I'll care about you, swear", he said and grinned. "B-.. I've got a lot of work.. I can't.." "You're cute." "This isn't funny", I protested.

John got up and left the room. "Where are you going?", I called after him but was too lazy to follow. When I strained my ears, I could her a rummaging noise soon followed by a "Damn, I'm good." He came back and stopped a few steps away from bed with a handset and a business card in his hand. He dialed. Then he looked up and threw the phone in my direction. I clumslily picked it up. I wasn't expecting him to throw phones at me. "It's Ryan. Tell her you're sick", he said and smirked. I gave him an evil glare.

"Michelle Ryan, hello?", she said with the fake friendly tone she had when she picked up a call. I tried to sound as suffering as I could and told her I had caught the flu and would do extra hours as soon as I got better. "This is not the best timing. But what shall we do? Go see the doctor and let me know when I can expect you back", she bitterly answered and hung up. I tossed the phone on the mattress and grinned back at John. "You're still an asshole", I said and we both laughed.

After we had breakfast, John grabbed one of his guitars. "Don't you think we should continue our guitar sessions? I always thought you looked so cute messing up the chords", he teased and I pouted. "You're being quite the dick today." "Thank you sweetheart", he said and kissed my cheek.

I don't know if we secretly tried to put it aside, but we didn't talk about yesterday at all. And I didn't want to either. I felt like we should enjoy every moment we had.

John tried to teach me a couple of new chords.. but we always ended up making out. I acted as if I didn't get what he was doing, he came closer, took my hand to show me, we looked at each other, our lips met.

"I feel like you're fooling me a little", John said and smirked. "Is that bad?" "Not at all", he said and leaned in for another kiss. Sooner or later, we decided to put the guitars aside and focus on ourselves. What the hell! He was just too handsome. His hands sliding up and down my sides was enough to leave me begging for more. And he made sure to give me what I begged for.

We laid next to each other naked and held hands. "Humans are such complex creatures", John said and looked to me. He came up with topics like that all the time. Like his brain was busy going through theories constantly. "Isn't it funny that we have all these muscles, flesh, bones, oragans, skin... and still look so damn sexy? Like.. you're one fine piece of human. Well done, whoever did this", he said and chuckled. "My mom and my dad did this", I said, laughed and John smirked. "You can never know if you're talking to a churchy Christian in the states." "As hot as you guys may find "Catholic School Girls", I'm not one of 'em. I told you my mom's a hippie. She believes in free spirits and wanted her children to explore themselves. And I decided for myself to not follow any religion. Everything I believe in is my religion. My religion basically is.. I don't know... Listen to your heart? Anything that's doing yourself good, you know? Does that sound stupid?", I said and chuckled. "Not at all... That's cool. I can feel you there. This place is way too fucked up to be ruled by some almighty and merciful god." "True."

He stroked my side lightly. "I meant it when I said you were one fine piece of human. It just sounded awkward. You're actually the most beautiful person I've ever seen and when I think about it.. it's such a shame I decided not to reproduce. We'd make nice-looking kids", he said and grinned. "Yeah.. probably", I said and was lost in thoughts, looking to the ceiling. "Why don't you want kids?", I asked. "Well.. as much as there's beautfiul things out there.. people like you", he said and smiled in my direciton. "there's also lots of stuff that's not beautiful at all in this world. Humans are destroying their earth. The oceans, the environment, everything. The planet and the universe would be much better off if human beings were just eliminated. So basically.. we should stop reproducing. I wouldn't want to push pure and innocent creature into this world."

I kept on looking to the ceiling. "That's a good point." "Yeah.. it's just what I think." I eyed him up, he noticed and chuckled. "How would this world look like.. if it was up to you?" He looked thoughtful all of a sudden and fixed my eyes. "Well.. obviously.. it would have music, Godard movies, plenty of cigarettes and you in it", he said and his concentrated look made way for a wide smile. "Yours?" "Music and cigarettes.. and maybe even you would sound good to me, too. I don't know about Godard, though." "What? How?" "Well.. I've never heard of him", I said and felt slightly embarassed. "He's the best director ever. This means we gotta watch as many of his movies today as possible. Which is good because you're sick with a flu and are not supposed to leave this bed", he said and smirked. I laughed. "Who says that?" "Doctor Frusciante says that", he said, stroked a strain of hair out of my face, looked at me for a second, smiled and kissed me. "Well okay then", I said and smiled, too.

Godards movies were confusing me.. but at the same time compelling. What was also compelling was watching John. He was highly focused but every now and then he nudged my arm to hint at great scenes or dialogues that would follow. I enjoyed the fact that he was into all kinds of artistic stuff. My ex boyfriend Vince was a hardcore Die Hard, The Terminator and Rambo fan and that was basically it. Going to the movies with that guy was no option. He never showed me any great music or movies or art or whatever. I started asking myself why I even liked... let alone love him. But he was a great kisser.. I gotta give him that.

In the middle of Godard's Breathless, the phone rang. John breathed deep and gave me a half-hearted smile. "I think we gotta pause this", he said and got up. I holed up in the blanket and didn't move. My heart sank. Pushing something to the back of your head won't make it go away. John already slipped into his boots when he came back. He didn't look to me. I don't know where he looked. "I'm sorry Kaya." I didn't know what to say so I didn't say a word. "I know you can't wait for me all the time.. But I'll be back. Hopefully soon." I closed my eyes. "I'm not staying", I quietly said and opened my eyes again. John looked down, looked up to me and back down again. He placed his hand on his forehead and sighed. He looked hurt. 

"I can't stay here forever and hope you won't leave. I've got a life, too. I haven't talked to my friends except for Lara lately. And I gotta call my mum because.. well.. I'm afraid she's breaking up with my dad and apart from this I don't have any clothes here or anything and I gotta go to work tomorrow. I feel like I'm living in a parallel universe with you. It's not built to function. Find out for how long you'll be gone and we'll figure out how this is gonna work out..or if it's gonna work out at all", I said. John pursed his lips. I knew he knew I was right. He didn't try to say anything against it. He simply walked up to me, kneeled down, took my face into his hands and kissed me for a long, painfully beautiful moment before he left.