the shy one//a hannie fanfiction

•four•

"i was there for you when no one else was, yet you traded me for someone who only sees your clothing brands."
- -
in which annie confronts hayden and admits to her feelings.
- -
•annie•

after hours of sobbing in my closet, i walked out, ready to believe hayden.

i never do this, especially for boys, but i felt it was right.

i felt complete with him, so maybe it was fate?

maybe his so called friends are just complete jerks and found out, and exposed me for fun.

plus, who cares about me and what i do anyway?

i'm just a freak.

and according to the other seven instagram notifications i received, in also a bitch, slut, whore, hoe, ugly fucker, hopeless, person.

and maybe they're right.

but hayden made me believe for at least a split second that those things weren't me, and i was wanted.

that was incredibly difficult, if even impossible.

i came to my senses and took a deep breath, seeing a sleeping hayden, laying on my bed.

seeing him brought tears to my eyes.

maybe it wasn't him who posted about me.

what boy would stay here for hours to prove their liking for a slut if it were fake?

before i woke him, i saw a notification pop up on his phone.

'instagram- ella.belle: did you really have sex with that slutty freak? first those five other girls, and now her?! what the hell?'

he had sex with five other girls.

i was at least honest?

but he lied?!

i wouldn't have cared, honestly.

i feel as if he's different than all the others.

i ignored his phone and sat on my bed.

i didn't wanna talk.

right at this moment, i didn't have the energy to speak.

with one swift movement, i cuddled up to hayden's warm chest and stayed still.

soon enough tears came flowing down the side of my face and onto his chest.

i could feel and hear his heartbeat.

it felt like as if it was racing with a lambo.

"...annie?..."

the whisper seemed to echo through my head.

no words i would have liked to say came out of my mouth.

instead, more salty drops came out of my eyes until i finally managed to speak up.

he cuddled me close and rubbed his hands down my back, which was suprisingly comforting.

"hayden..i..i just.."

"shhh annie you don't have to say anything. i understand, it's okay."

"no hayden. it's not okay. i need to get this out. i need to."

he stayed silent and nodded, understandingly.

"for...a very long time, i've obviously been bullied for my looks, personality, everything. i'm pretty sure it started in eighth grade..?"

i took a deep breath before continuing.

"i was myself in eighth grade, and every grade before it. i guess it just wasn't enough to fit in, and so i didn't."

i blinked away tears.

"it was just rumors at the time. small ones. they didn't even affect me."

"towards the end of the year, i wanted a knew me. therefore, that summer, that's what i tried to do."

"i put on glasses, i thought they were cute. they didn't. i tried renewing my closet selection. it wasn't enough."

"i put my hair up in a bun everyday to prevent myself from sweating the littlest bit."

"no one noticed anything beside the ugly, geek, me. as bullying got worse, it started to get to me."

"and then...and then my older brother caleb passed. he was my bestfriend. he was the person keeping me sane."

tears did escape, but i quickly wiped them away.

"the depression flowed in. i wanted to suffer. i wanted to end things. but i didn't. i couldn't bare to be like that when he's watching."

"soon enough, i got used to being the freak. used to being pushed and shoved around. i can't do anything about it."

"and today i finally realized that i am empty. i am ugly. i am worthless. and i do deserve what i get. i've finally accepted it."

hayden wiped my tears away before i could and sat me on his lap.

"listen. you're not any of those things. you're an angel who deserves the world. and if i can do anything to stop it, i will. i can't stand to see you like this."

i paused.

my heart wants to say something.

my mind doesn't have control of it.

and just as my mind gripped what was coming out of my mouth, it slipped out.

"i love you hayden."