Fix You ~Completed~

Act Twenty-Six

It was too much.

It was all too much.

It was all too fucking much.

I had to get out.

I had to get out for just a few hours.

I needed freedom.

I needed my friends.

I needed to be away from Kyla.

Just a few hours.

Just a few hours is all I asked for.

I was so desperate.

I was so fucking desperate.

I was breaking.

I was beyond breaking.

As soon as Kyla drank himself into a coma after using me in that disgusting way he always felt he had to, I shrugged my new hoodie on along with some clean jeans and ran to the bathroom. I sent Gale a text, promising I'd meet them in the parking lot in just a couple minutes.

I never told them I wasn't couldn't hang out on New Years, because I always planned on seeing them anyways.

A few hours, that's all I asked for.

"You're back! Oh thank god!" I called as I came bounding across the icy sidewalk, pretending like I just exited the apartment through the front door and not the window in my bathroom. Pretty sure I pulled it off okay. Gale and Eddie were both standing out in front of Eddie's car, dressed in tiny silver hats and glasses designed to proclaim 2018. I giggled, accepting my own pair of glasses and a party hat.

Gale hugged me first, smelling distinctly of bubble gum. "I never wanna go that long without seeing my favorite little blonde boy again," he stated, cupping my face. "My poor dear probably missed us."

"I missed you guys so much," I told him with a soft laugh, going in for another hug quickly before departing to send my love to Eddie via a bear hug. He practically tackled me. "Jeez, I get the feeling you missed me too!"

"I agree with Asher. Next time we go anywhere for that long, you're coming with us," he stated, his hands squeezing the skin covering my ribs. I pressed my nose into his neck habitually, noting that he smelled like a bakery. "We've got some amazing cookies in the car that have been acting as perfume for the vehicle the whole ride home. This bakery in our hometown sells the greatest cookies and we were so excited to show you them, so we just bought some to bring here to you. That's what you're smelling on me."

"It's a lovely scent," I promised, pulling away. Eddie's entire face was bright red. "Are you cold?"

"Um, yeah," he shrugged me off. "Let's get in the car, guys."

Sure enough, a whole box of cookies was waiting for us there. I splayed my hand over my stomach. It had been a day and a half since I'd eaten. Kyla had shoved a whole block of chocolate into my mouth at once when I was trying to take a nap on the couch. He said my stomach wouldn't stop grumbling and it was annoying him, so he decided to just be a fucking creep and-

I mean, he was being sweet. He wanted me to have something in my stomach. He wanted me to be healthy.

"This is amazing," I sighed when I lamented and took a cookie. Gale was in the back with me, munching on one, while Eddie was in the front taking us to our destination. It took me until that moment to realize I didn't even know where that was. "Hey, guys? What're we doing tonight?"

"Well, earlier today we swung by the café and saw Jimmy," Eddie began, lifting one shoulder in a semi-awkward fashion. "He said he talked to you a few days ago and offered a haircut, so we made arrangements for you to get said haircut tonight."

It was hard to bring myself to laugh. "My hair isn't that bad."

"Lem, we love you, but it looks like you let a second grader with safety scissors snip away at it," Gale corrected, only a touch apologetic. We locked eyes and I tried to playfully glare at him and failed. "Aw, you're such a fuzz-ball!"

I looked down, smiling. "What are we gonna do after that? I'm assuming a haircut won't take too long."

"Just how many months has it been since you've looked at that ratty mess in the mirror, Clem?"

"Gale!" Eddie snapped.

"Sorry! Sorry! Moving on," Gale tried not to laugh, "We were thinking we could chill in our apartment. Play some games, eat pizza, watch New Years Eve. It's fitting and I think Eddie has a man-crush on Ashton Kutcher."

My ginger friend patted my arm as he handed me a second cookie. I nibbled along the edges, unwilling to destroy the beautiful rose design that was protruding from the middle. 

Eddie threw a glare at him. "Shut up, Gale."

I smiled, watching the blonde through the rearview mirror. He was staring intently at the road, trying to be careful on the icy roads. Kyla never did that; he drove like a fucking maniac no matter what the season was.

I mean, he drove carelessly. He wasn't a maniac. Kyla was just reckless. That's what Kyla was.

And he thought I was replaceable.

The mere thought sent me down. I curled my fingers down into my palm, letting my nails dig agonizingly deep into my skin. How long had it been since I cut? If I remembered correctly, it was that day Kyla told me I was ugly. (Before he went back the day before Christmas Eve and admitted he thought I was beautiful. I knew that was the truth. Kyla thought I was beautiful and he loved me and he didn't mean to hurt me.)

I needed to do it. I needed to stop this. I needed everything to just stop.

"Eddie told his parents he was bi the day before we left," Gale started talking, chuckling and grinning, no idea what was going on right beside him. I didn't want him to know. I didn't want either of my friends to know what Kyla said. I couldn't handle it if they thought the same way. "It was great! His dad was just like, Yeah, okay, Eddie. Pass me the butter. And his mom wasn't even paying attention so she just kept nodding while reading a magazine, and his brother was just gawking at him and their parents and then me and-"

"They were chill with it once they did listen to me," Eddie interrupted, shaking his head. He glanced at us through the little mirror and smiled in a way that drove me deeper down into my chair.

I wanted that all the time. I wanted it to be just Eddie, Gale, and I. In that moment, I didn't want anybody else. I didn't want Kyla. I didn't want him to touch me or kiss me or hold me. After what he said, I...

"I think my dad still thinks I'm just teasing," he continued when I didn't speak. A question was in his eyes as they continued to lock on mine.

I dropped our gaze.

"When they asked what made him realize, I said I was pretty sure he had a crush on-"

"GALE!" Eddie shouted, his voice cutting me out of my head and shoving me brutally back into reality like a messed up puzzle piece. I was listening, but not really taking in a single word they said.

There was something about Eddie telling his parents he was bi and then Gale brought up crushes... Ah, it was probably Ashton Kutcher again. Who else would they be talking about?