Fix You ~Completed~

Act Seventy-Seven

"I showed your mom my cuts."

"Wait, you what?"

I shrugged, my hands tucked beneath my thighs while I watched Eddie buzz about his childhood bedroom, packing his bag. It was the morning right before we were set to leave and he was a beehive of activity from the moment his eyes opened. Unfortunately, I did not share his energy. It was six in the morning and I just wanted to let my mind really wake up. Ed wasn't having it. He wanted to be on the road by nine and, with his and Ale's family, he warned me it was unlikely they'd let us go without fifty hugs and kisses.

"Yesterday," I explained quietly, keeping my eyes trained on his chin while I talked because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle eye contact, "when I went out back to see Georgie, your mom was the only one out there. We were t-talking and stuff. I-I guess she just caught me at a bad time like you did when I showed you."

Ed took a deep breath. "What did she say?" He was rubbing his temples.

"She told me I should consider talking to someone. I said I talk to you and she said that maybe a-a professional... but that's nuts. I'm fine." My foot ran across the carpeting, halting when I found Eddie standing in front of me. "Sorry for telling her. I was really upset, Eddie."

"They're your scars, baby. You can tell whoever you want," he whispered, leaning down to press a kiss against my forehead. "I'm sorry if I upset you."

"It wasn't you. You're what makes me happiest." I smiled meekly, quickly adding, "She also called me her third son."

"You've replaced Gale," he tried to laugh, and caressed my cheek. "She loves you. My dad loves you. Georgie loves you. Joel actually made a joke in front of Gale and I's friends when he came back down about adopting you."

"If they did, then you, Ale, and I could all be related!" I giggled, wrapping my arm around his neck. The excitement was lost on him. Ed looked just as dead as he did before. "Eddie, what's wrong? You've been so blue since yesterday. I don't like seeing you so sad. Did t-they hurt you?"

"It's just... old wounds," he brushed it off.

"Was it seeing your old girlfriends that made you upset?"

"No."

"Did seeing them make you homesick?"

"If anything, sweetie, seeing them just made me feel relieved to be at Sawyer with you," Eddie assured me, plopping down to my left. He tossed his body carelessly backwards and sighed obscurely loud. "They don't think I should be dating you."

I shrugged. "Yeah, I kind of caught on to that."

"Stevie and Ellen were cool with it, but the others were so weird. I didn't know any of them were homophobic."

"Maybe it's not that," I suggested shyly, turning to glance at him. Ed narrowed his eyes, clueless. "It's possible your friends just don't like me. If you were dating another guy, maybe-"

"What's wrong with you? Why would they have an issue with you?"

"Because kids like that always have an issue with me."

"'Kids like that?'"

I bit my lip. "You know what I mean!"

"No, I don't," he huffed. "Clem, I'm like them and I have no issue with you. Damn it, I love you."

"You're different. You're special," I insisted, hesitantly laying my hand against his leg. It was bent at a ninety-degree angle off the edge of the bed, brushing ever so slightly against my own thigh. I gently stroked it, hoping to show Eddie that I meant it. I meant every single word I was saying to him because I loved him. "Everything about you is different from anyone else."

"Or maybe," he sighed detachedly, "my old friends are just assholes. Except Stevie."

"I liked Stevie," I admitted, despite the fact she was so obviously a stoner. I wasn't so biased that I didn't know stoners could be awesome people. Despite what Kyla, his parents, and his awful friends taught me, doing drugs didn't make you a bad person. It just made you a person who made not-so-great choices. "I'm sorry if I ruined your reunion."

"They ruined it, not you," he clarified, sitting upright. His hand landed on mine. The touch sent heat straight into my cheeks. "You and your blush."

"Shut up," I teased, scooting over to give him a wet kiss. It lasted longer than usual, which had my whole body tensing up because we were so close and on a bed and I didn't like kissing on a bed and I couldn't help but notice the fact my hand was still on Eddie's knee and he was holding my hand on his knee and-

Calm down. Calm down. Just calm the heck down. This isn't that. Eddie isn't Kyla.

I snapped away, that thought burning in my mind. When I opened my eyes, I nearly whimpered at the fact it was indeed Eddie's ocean blue eyes I was met with and not Kyla's muddy ones. "Eddie?" I whispered in relief. He nodded, still holding my hand. "You're... you're everything to me."

The bliss on his face wore off. "Clem," he muttered, "don't say that. Remember what we talked about?"

Yes, of course I did. Our relationship wasn't gonna be like Kyla and I's. Eddie told me I was my own person. Neither of us was perfect and we acknowledged that. We had our own lives and they both mattered equally, even without each other. Life wouldn't stop moving if we split up.

I told him okay, that I agreed with that. He told me it would ensure we had a healthy life together if we both just understood that. Our codependency wouldn't be so unshakable.

The issue, however, was that I didn't think that way and he knew that. I was trying, I really was, but Eddie was all my heart desired. Not food, not sleep, not even Gale- just Eddie.

"But it's true?" I stuttered shyly. "I'm sorry."

"Baby," he whispered, removing his hand. I desperately reached for it again. "Clem-"

"I-I'm sorry," I repeated. No matter what, I couldn't let go of his hand.

"You have more than just me. You've got Gale, our parents, school, your awesome memory, music-"

"But I love you most," I argued, tightening my grip because I knew he wanted to pull away. Was I scaring him? Was I too much?

My boyfriend set his free arm around my shoulders and squeezed, whispering that I needed to breathe. I'd feel better if I just breathed.

I relaxed against him and buried my face in his shoulder. "W-why am I so fucked up?" I asked, fisting his t-shirt. It was a Journey shirt much like the one his mom had on the day before. I wondered if they had gone together to a concert or just bought matching shirts. Either way, that was adorable.

"You're not fucked up," he promised me with a kiss to the head. "You just have been through a lot. You get attached easily."

"If I start to be too much, tell me, okay?"

"I did," Eddie chuckled sweetly, parting my hair so that I would tilt my head up to stare at him. That smile I just loved so much was on his face. "Tell me if I ever do too, okay?"

"You're never too much."

He smirked. "Oh, really?"

"You're perfe- I mean, eh..." I quickly glanced away, catching myself before I messed up. As Ed said, we both had flaws and we saw that. Well, I didn't- I didn't see anything wrong with Eddie. He was perfect to me. Entirely, wholly perfect.

It wasn't like how it was with Kyla. I wasn't blind. Eddie never hurt me. He never manipulated me. I could love him deeply and honestly. I loved him differently than I loved Kyla; it felt entirely different. Everything I felt for Eddie, the way I saw him, it was different.

What we had was so real I felt as though I could actually touch it.

The devil himself chuckled, ruffling my hair sweetly. "We better finish packing," he said, rewarding me with another kiss on the lips. This one was quick, but the effect was just the same.

Love made me stupid, I swear to god.