Sweet Secrets

Trying To Survive Without You

Taylor's Pov:

Paula's facial expression is one thing I can't read. The only thing I can see is pain and confusion, flashing through her eyes. She holds onto my arm and stares at me.

"I didn't know you felt that way." She looks into my eyes, almost disapprovingly.

"I'm sorry but, it was eating me alive." I fall back into the row of two seats and put my head in my hands. Paula rubs my back and whispers in my ear.

"Listen, I know this will be hard for you. But everything in life has to be hard. I talked to Harry this morning- he wants to stay with you to help you out. He's not going to leave you. He will help you out. Through the pregnancy and labor and raising that baby. He cares about you, no matter what other people say. He truly loves you Taylor."

I look up with tears in my eyes.

"You don't know how much that means to me. He's expressed that before to me, I just wasn't fully paying attention." Hearing the way he feels melts my heart. But, I hate the fact that I have to survive two months. Two months of excitement, growing, appointments, interviews.

"I wish he could be here." I breathe and let more tears come. I wouldn't get over this until I'm back in his arms.

"I wish he was too. I don't like seeing you stressed like this. Calm down okay? Stress isn't good for the baby." And there is the motherly instinct that is always present when I'm with Paula.

"Okay, thank you Paula." I smile and she kisses my forehead.

Paula walks back across the plane aisle and settles in her seat. I slide my aching body across the seats to the window. I place headphones in my ears and go to music. During the beginning of our relationship, we would send each other un-released love songs we've written to each other. I always had my guitar and he had just his sweet voice. Most of these songs were recorded with rain added in the background, for calming purposes. I lay my head against the window and close my eyes.

The song playing is called "Melody". His lyrics are very easy to decode. The bridge plays as I pull my t-shirt up softly. I place my fingers on the biggest part of the bump. Wondering exactly who he or she'll look like. I hope Harry's personality passes on. His dimples that I poke every time we kiss, which makes him break the kiss and laugh. Hopefully his eyes and mine mix into a dark blue mixture. The sweet ways of his hugs. I'm drifting into sleep, being the exhausted person I've become.

~~~

Taylor's Pov:

I'm startled awake by the touchdown of the plane. I gasp and Paula looks over and laughs.

"You just slept a total eight hours, the entire plane ride." Paula retorts from looking at my confused face.

"What time is it?" I rub my eyes and pull my shirt back down.

"Ten at night." Paula responds.

"Did I seriously sleep with my hand on my stomach the entire ride?"

"Yeah, motherly instinct. I sent a picture to your mom." I swear my mother Paula are closer than Paula and I.

"Can you send it to me? I'll send it to Harry, he'll love it. He gets sentimental with stuff like that." I look over and Paula's holding a laugh.

"What?"

"You're so love sick. It makes me happy but it's also hilarious." She laughs.

"Whatever." I mumble and pull out my phone. I need someone to pick me up, I don't have a car here. I settle with my mom and she drives here quickly. Of course instead of getting a silent ride, I'm bombarded with questions.

~~~

Taylor's Pov:

I grab my phone off the bedside table, holding back a scream. I touch call and dial Harry's contact, my hands sweating.

"Taylor, what's wrong? It's two am there." Harry asks frantically.

"Harry- you- you were taken from me." I say, starting to feel tears go down my face.

"What? What are you talking about? I'm fine!" He's panicking- so am I.

"Bu- but it was so real! We were just sleeping and I woke up and you just died." I breathe, wiping my face.

"Tay- babe calm down. It's just a bad dream, they come along with the pregnancy. I was just reading up on that actually. I have to go though, I love you."

"Okay, I love you too." I breathe.

I had difficulty falling asleep that night. I figured between fear and my own thoughts over crowding my mind- there was no use of attempting sleep. I pick up my laptop from the floor and turn on the light at my bedside table. I sit up and pull my curls into a bun.

I type 'Taylor Swift' into the search bar. I normally don't do this, I'm curious at the moment. I actually never do this but, I don't want to watch a news report. I'd rather know how people are reacting than act like I don't care.

E!News.com: Grammy-winning singer Taylor Swift, announces third pregnancy!

All the stuff they ever post is fake, keep scrolling.

CountryMusicRadio.com: Our friend Taylor Swift announced her first pregnancy yesterday! Are y'all as excited as us?

I love country radio, very much.

Tswiftontourtwitter.com: Taylor is pregnant! I'm so excited!

ohtaylorswiftie.instagram.user1368: gUYS TAYLOR IS PREGNANT I'M

SO EXCITED!!!!!! OH MY GOD I'M HYPERVENTILATING!

I chuckle at that last one. I close my laptop and run my fingers down my tank top to my bump. I've been doing this a lot recently, it comforts me. As if Harry was here with me in person- not as this tiny person growing in my stomach.

"So" I ponder my thoughts, what should I call this baby? I wouldn't know the gender for a while. A transgender name would work I guess. Rhylie works right? Sure.

"Rhylie- I don't know if you can hear me or understand me for that matter. But this is your mom. Your dad isn't here right now- but I promise he'll be here. He's at work, which makes him stay away for a while. I miss him dearly but, the wait is worth it. Oh Rhylie, I hope you look like your father. I hope you have his dimples. They're my personal favorite on your dad. I can't wait till you grow so we can interact more. Goodnight Rhylie. Momma loves you." I stroke my fingers up and down my bump for a little while. Imagining this tiny child being in my arms in less than a year. I smile to myself and close my eyes, letting sleep overcome me.

~~~

Taylor's Pov:

I awaken to morning sickness- worse than any other time. Probably because I hadn't eaten anything last night. I did it. I survived my first day without Harry. My phone chimes and I groan, pulling myself off the bathroom floor. Harry tweeted a picture- and tagged me. It's the picture of me asleep with my hand on my bump.

Harry_Styles:

84 days until I'll be waking up next to this lovely girl. pic.twitter.7602

(A/N: hey loves! I included more pregnancy things in this! I don't know if you guys like that ? But, by the end of the next chapter- Harry will be back and Taylor will be finding out the gender and it's all so exciting ah!! Things will be a lot better!)