memories to live

a dark lie

We are happy for each other. But what about Shrey? What he will do if he knows about our relationship?
I know he will not give up on me. It's not so easy, if he loves me then why did he avoid me? Is am I right? Will Mridul accept me after knowing my past? So many questions are floating in my head. I have to handle two persons at time, I can't hurt any one of them.

I'm so confused. Let me say something about my past to Mridul, if he can accept then we can go ahead together, if not again a failure. I sat with lappy on my lap thinking of a mail to Mridul so that he can me reply later on. The message was like this:

To: mridulhiremath304@gmail.com
Subject: the darkest secret of my life.

I know you didn't expect this from me. I don't want to say this to you because I don't want to lose you. I really love you, I don't want to hurt you. I had hidden something from you, I never want you to know it. But today I want to say it.
Be honest after reading this. If you want to go away, you can. I will never stop you, but be prompt.

As you know I mingle with everyone, social medias are one of my favorite time pass. I used to spend lot of time on Facebook, by scrolling newsfeed or texting to unknowns. One day a boy called Rahul sent me a request. I accepted it, we used to text always we become somewhat close. I don't know why I trusted him so much, but I used to share everything with him. And unknowingly I fallen for him. I used to love him like a mad. He showed same feelings on me but never said he loves me. I have met him for a couple of times. In those meetings one evening I met him. We went to a restaurant, and we ordered juice there. I don't know what it was mixed with, while drinking it I felt drowsy and I don't remember anything. The next morning when I came to senses I lied in room naked, I couldn't find him. And after that I never contacted him again.

This happened a year before. It's my past, Shrey helped me to come over this, he is good person. Sorry for this, do you still want to stay with me? Can you accept me?

Yours
Riya

I waited for his reply, all of sudden I got call from him. I received it, his voice was calm, I couldn't face him so I ended up the call.
He texted me to come online.

Mridul: what happened? Why you didn't talk to me? Is anything wrong with me?

Me: nothing like that, I was not in a mood to talk. Just check your mail.

Mridul: let me see.

I didn't stay online for longer time I felt to stay alone for some time, I switched off my phone.
After few hours when I switched it on, I can find a message saying that he had tried call me a 30+
Times. I just went online. I could find around 20 messages from him, but I don't have anything in my mind other than a question- "will he stay with me?"

He had asked sorry in starting few messages, after that he had he had asked about that guy in the mail-Rahul, all of sudden he said that he can't stay with me anymore.

I didn't read few more messages after that. After an hour I called him, for the first time he didn't pick up my call. I thought I'm failed again, there is nothing called true love in the world, people are fake. There is nothing to do with my past, then why he is taking it so seriously? Does his love is fake?

I called him again. I can feel his sobbing, he was crying for all these hours. And he said that he will stay with me for life long. He didn't ask anything about that boy again. He asked me to believe him, he promised me that he will not cheat him like he did.
I just listened to his thoughts, at last I spoke.
Me: the mail is just a lie. I just want to know you, for that I did this.
Mridul(like a baby): what? It's a lie? Please don't do again like this. I really love you, if you believe me then stay with me or else you can go. But I love you till my last breath, I'm ready to take any risks for you.
Me: thanks for your love. Don't worry much, escaping from me is not so easy, I will torture you in your hell also. Love you idiot, you are so cute. Love you a lot.

You need not to pass any love to be loved but still love tests you. all you need is to be honest and calm. Sometimes in anger we do some mistakes but if your lover loves you truly then they never judge. They know the real you, they are ready to accept your flaws. They will guide you to the right path, if you are doing wrong also they will stay with you.

I'm lucky to get Mridul, I just tested him by sending a fake mail, but he didn't take his step back. I read the rest of messages, in those he tried to convince me. I'm sure that he is the one for me. I want to stay with him always. Hopes are still alive.