Carl fell back against the bed, panting. Negan laid next to him, chest heaving. A thin layer of sweat covered both of their bodies. The only noise in the room was their breathing. Negan was the first to move, draping his arm across his face, covering his eyes. With his other hand he pulled the sheets up and over them, relaxing into the mattress.
"Stay the night." Negan mumbled. His voice was hoarse from yelling, but it only made Negan hotter. Carl loved how loud he could make the older man. "Its too late for you to try and leave." To be fair it had been late for a while, by the time Carl and him made it up to Negans room the sun had set.
Carl wanted to say thank you for caring. But he didn't. He never said what he wanted, not to Negan. "I wasn't going to leave. And even if I was, I wouldn't listen to you. If I want to leave, I do."
"Why do you try and turn everything into an argument? I mean, come on, I get it you're badass and not a kid anymore, good for you. But not everything needs to lead to you shouting about how you do what you want." Negan peeked out behind his arm. "You're just a brat with a good mouth."
"And look at how far its gotten me." Carl rolled onto his side, his back facing Negan. "I'm staying, but not because you want me to." Carl would stay whether or not Negan wanted him to. But it did feel nicer when Negan wanted him around.
"God. Sometimes I swear you're just like my wives. All moody and pissy-"
"If they act this way around you I get why. You are quite infuriating." Carl mumbled into his pillow.
"You little shit." Negan sat up. "If you werent so good in bed youd be dead on the ground so count your blessings."
"You wouldn't kill me. If you wanted to you would have by now." Carl shot back. "Now shut up so I can sleep." He yanked the covers away from Negan and around himself, curling up. No matter how many times he insulted Negan, in his mind and outloud, Carl would never love him less.
"Brat." Negan mumbled under his breath. He yanked the covers back over and stayed on his back, closing his eyes.
Silence fell over the room. Groans of zombies coming from outside were just background noise. Carl was nervous and in a way hurt. It was a long shot, but he thought that Negan would hold him. It wasn't a big deal and it most likely would never happen, but he got his hopes up.
Minutes passed. Several different clocks ticked away, all out of beat with each other. Carl tried moving around and nudging Negan but it didn't work. All Negan did was groan and shove him back. Then again, that didn't give much of a hint.
Next, Carl tried moving back against Negan. His back was pressed firmly against Negans side but Negan didn't seem to care. He huffed and moved away for a few seconds before stopping and giving up. Carl was the only person that could get Negan to give up.
Carl huffed, rolling away from him, laying flat on his back. His hair fanned out across the pillow he was laying on. He glanced over at Negan, admiring. Nighttime was a good time to be with Negan. He was too tired and too distracted to get annoyed with Carl looking at him.
Carls love was too soft for Negans hard edges. His love was too innocent and pure and admirable. Negan tells him it's not love, not in words but in actions. He doesn't kiss Carl on the mouth as much and he stopped using nicknames. Carl thinks its one of the stupidest decisions Negan has ever made. Simple things like that won't stop Carl from loving him, they weren't even the reason he loved him to begin with.
Carl glanced at him, turning onto his side. He reached back and grabbed Negans arm, yanking it so Negan turned onto his side. He wrapped Negans arm around his waist and curled up against him, pressing his back to Negans chest. Negans fingers curled around his hip and pulled him even closer.
Carl once heard that when people are meant to be they fit like puzzle pieces. That's what Negan and him were. Puzzle pieces clicking together. He smiled at the clichè and for a moment let himself bask in the idea that they were more than just arguments and sex. That they in fact were in love and it wasn't just Carl being attached.
"So thats what all that tossing and turning was?" Negans lips moved against the back of Carls head. The room was silent until Negan sighed. "Sleep good, kid... I uh.. won't let anything hurt you."
Carl smiled against his pillow and pressed as close to Negan as he could. He wrapped his arms around Negans and kept it close to him. Maybe he wasn't imagining things. Maybe it was more than sex. Carl closed his eyes and did something he swore to never do again. Hope.
