Negan laid on his back, eyes half closed as he twirled different strands of Carls hair around his finger. "Carl..." Negan whispered, looking down at him. He pushed his chest up, causing Carl to roll away from him. "Hey... are you awake?"
Carl grunted, slapping Negans chest before pressing his face against it. "I am now. Asshole.." His thin arms wrapped around Negans torso while one of his legs hooked around Negans hip. "Unless we're under attack or all the zombies are suddenly cured, don't wake me up again."
"Come on..." Negan practically whined. "I'm in the mood for some deep as shit pillow talk." He leaned down and kissed the top of Carls head. He rolled onto his side and looked down at Carl. "Open your eyes.."
Carl did as told, glaring at him. "You can talk all you want. That doesn't mean I'm gonna reply." His arms snaked up around his neck, burying his face in his shoulder. "What do you wanna talk about anyway?"
"You." Negan kissed his cheek. "My favorite topic." He rolled on top of Carl, resting his elbows on either side of his head, holding himself up. Both of Carls legs wrapped around his waist now. "Who would you pick?"
Carls eyebrows knit together. "What does that mean?" He yawned, pressing a kiss to Negans arm.
"Between me and your dad, who would you pick?" Negan leaned down and kissed his neck, smiling against his skin. "If it all comes down to it, and it will, will you stay with him.." Negan bit his collar bone and sucked on the skin. "Or me?"
Carl gasped, sliding his hand through Negans hair. "That's not fair. We're talking about the man who kept me alive for years and the man who..." Carl shook his head. "I'm not picking."
"He didn't keep you alive, kid, you did. You killed those zombies. You chose to keep going. All he did was hand you the gun." Negan shook his head, laughing dryly. "Your blind faith in the man kills me, you know that? You could live without him, Carl. You just don't want to admit it because you're what he's got left."
"He's my dad. I love him. I care about him." Carl tried to avoid Negans face, looking anywhere around the dark room he could. It didn't work. Negans eyes followed him. Read him. "I'm not choosing between you and him because I won't ever have to. You guys can make it work. You just have to want to."
"Don't be naive, Carl. We can't fix this. It's too damaged." Negan shook his head, sighing. "Your dad and I... there's no way, okay? And I know you're all for peace and love and all that other hippie stuff but we can't. Alright? Don't get your hopes up."
"Yeah, okay." Carl nodded. "But still, even when the world's burning around us and I have to choose, I won't. He's... he's my dad, Negan. And you're... you're my world. I can't choose between that. You both love me-"
"I love you. I love the real you. The you with broken pieces and sick thoughts." Negan pressed their foreheads together. "What does he love, Carl? The fake you. The scared little boy who always needs his daddy? Does he love that bullshit?"
Carl pushed Negan onto his back, climbing on top of him, the sheets tangling around their bodies. "Negan. Really... I love you both. Why does that bother you so much?"
"Because you guys don't know each other. He's done nothing for you. Hes too busy panicking and running around and picking fights." Negan looked up at him. "I just... I want to know who you would pick when it gets bad?"
"It's been bad since you came and bashed my friends skulls in. My dad never did that, ya know? He never took my friends away. Not without a cause." Carl watched Negans face. The way it hardened and the way his eyes looked away. "It's been bad. It only gets worse and it really doesn't have to."
"Enough of this bullshit, Carl. Peace isn't a choice. Living hand in hand like some fairytale kid show isn't a choice. It's war and you can't have it both ways. So, tell me." Negan looked at him again. "Who would you pick?"
Carl looked away, his hair shielding his face from Negans gaze. "Negan. I'm serious. When the time comes, I'll figure it out, okay?"
"It's me, isn't it?" Negan sat up on his elbows, leaning down and looking past Carls hair. "And you just can't admit it because it means you're a bad son. It means all that loyalty you spent on him was worthless and full of guilt."
Carl stayed silent, but he pushed the hair from his face. "Look... I'm not answering... you got your pillow talk. Can I just go to bed? It's late." He climbed out of his lap and buried his face in a pillow, taking a deep breath. He hated that Negan could read him. It made him feel sick.
Negan rolled onto his side and wrapped his arm around Carl. "It's me." He sounded prideful. Like he had won a war or something. "But I wanna hear you say it. Tell me you'd pick me. You'd pick the man who ruined your daddy's life over your daddy."
"You're sick." Carl scoffed, pressing his face closer to the pillow. He put his hand over Negans and tightened Negans grip on his waist. "You know the answer. Why do you want me to say it?"
"Because you saying it makes it real. It makes you admit it to yourself." Negan slid his hand up Carls chest, his hand grazing his throat before he grabbed Carls jaw. He turned Carls head so Carl was looking back at him. "So go on..." He kissed his neck. "Say it."
"Nega-"
"When it all comes down to it... when everything is burning and the world is chaos, who would you pick? Dad..." He traced Carls jaw. "Or daddy?"
"Plea-"
"Who. Would. You. Pick."
"You." Carl breathed out.
Negan pressed a kiss underneath Carls ear. "Now... that's what I like to hear."
